Divorce. How can I agree a fair settlement

justme111

Then he can live in a bedsit after all and does not "need" one bed house. Of course one bed will be a flat bit he would not need a garden either. As you mentioned before he may relocate somewhere with the cheapest property , may be do internet search and let the judge know he could live in Cambodia at £50 a month so the split should be accordingly

clumsymoo

kayalana99 I am trying to get full time work. i have already asked but if they can increase my hours it won't be until September.I am recovering from cancer and on the last of my surgeries so that is definitely the plan. Can't afford to pay the Mortgage and rent to keep us here and I am fairly sure I won't be able to buy him out. I am seeing a Mortgage consultant this week so will have a clearer idea of what I can afford

DaftyDuck

clumsymoo wrote: »

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I have spoken to 2 solicitors this week who have told me this and both also said he would have to prove that he needs the inheritance money which was put aside for our children's future.
They advised me that they look at things like loss of earnings when I was not working bringing up our family, future earnings, maintaining a standard of living.

Then, from the inheritance point of view, both you and he could agree that this money should be put in a Trust for the benefit of the children, and not available to either of you.

The remaining assets can then be divides between the two of you, the split to be agreed...

clumsymoo

Justme111 why have you bothered to reply at all? I asked for some advice not sarky answers. If you can't be polite go troll someone else

Kayalana99

Its really akward with your son being 17 but are you sure your not entitled to CSA untill his 18th birthday?

I even think thier *may* be something that says he has to pay it untill they are out of full time education.....but thier might be a clause saying or untill they turn 17/18/19 ..

Can't quite remeber what my Dad/Mums divorce settlement was but I think he paid for me up untill I was 19 (but he didnt want her to go short so Im not sure if that could of been because he was being nice and had the money to do so)

Glad your looking for full time, I hope you didnt take it the wrong way I wasn't sure if I had offended you.

I wish you well in sorting this out anyway (and thiers always one with thier sarcastic comments )

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http://www.separateddads.co.uk/what-age-do-child-maintenance-payments-stop.html

Every parent has the basic responsibility to provide for their child up until the age of 16, when they are legally allowed to leave school and get a job. After this age, it depends what your child chooses to do. If they continue in full-time non-advanced education, not higher than A-level equivelant, for at least 12 hours a week, then your maintenance payments will continue until your child finishes or until they turn 20.

Im not sure if an apprenticeship counts as full time education? I would of thought it would but maybe get it checked out?

clumsymoo

Thanks Kayalana, no you didn't offend me at all.
I wouldn't go to the CSA anyway but my 17yr old is just starting a paid apprenticeship so they will even be stopping my child benefit. It's only min wage bless him he has offered to pay me rent.

All I want at the end of the day is to be able to put a roof over my kids heads and food on the table. I'm not out to screw him over and sorry if that is how this is coming across.

princeofpounds

All I want at the end of the day is to be able to put a roof over my kids heads and food on the table. I'm not out to screw him over and sorry if that is how this is coming across.

Remember that one is no longer a child and the other one will not be a child very shortly.

They should be supporting themselves or building up to it, not relying on their divorced mum to shelter and feed them on the cheap.

Now, it doesn't sound to me like they are that sort of children (quite the opposite) but I use the tone to get a point across. Very soon both you and your ex will have as equal responsibility for your children: none.

Soon it will just be you and your ex splitting the assets, and the 'children' are not an especially strong reason to deviate from 50/50. They won't even be children if he contests the divorce and drags out the legals as much as he can, most likely.

Of course you can both agree to do more for them, but that should probably be a joint decision.

justme111

Kajalana , if you look at numbers it appears the op wants like 80/20 - she wants to keep inheritance , to keep 25% stake in another property, get part of his pension and get a house mortgage free which would I guess meanlile at least 70%30 split on equity.

clumsymoo

While I see your point the facts are that whilst they are both working incredibly hard for their future independence they aren't quite there yet. My 20 yr old works part time as well as Uni which she commutes to so is still at home. Even when she finishes she will struggle to find work in her field and may have to volunteer fir a year just to get her foot in the door. They have both offered to pay their way not that they will be able to contribute much and I may have to take them up on it when the time comes. So the fact is they will need to be supported for the next 5 years or so regardless that the law says they are adults.

My OH is very good at making promises that he doesn't keep so unless I pin it down in black and white I don't have a leg to stand on

Valli

have to agree with prince here; a judge is not going to consider that YOU need a house of a certain size anymore than your soon to be ex does; you might be better off, given the circumstances, selling up and getting a smaller 2/3 bedroom house each; using the inheritance money to top up the pot as necessary and each ensuring that the children have an equal share in the will and would inherit both houses in the fullness of time.
While that money may have been earmarked for them the fact is YOU appear to have inherited it hence it will be considered part of the assets of the marriage.

Consideration needs to be given though, to what would happen to the property should either of you marry again.

Given the ages of the children I would presume there would be a 50/50 split; this will include the pensions, though so you could come to an agreement where you get more cash now and your husband retains his pension pot.

Just a few thoughts - not saying I am rightin any of this but, given you will be paying to attend mediation it's wise to give as much thought as you can prior to attending.

You (both of you) will need accurate valuations/assessments of all assets to take to mediation anyway.