Separated, how much should I provide?

JackRS

**Patty** wrote: »

I once fell asleep at the cinema watching MI2.....It was a second date and i was fast off before the opening credits had gone up:o

Jack.....I've had some rough times. I know how it feels to walk into somewhere, have your heart plummet & think *is this it?*

Nothing is a quick fix. So start small. Your rental may not be your forever home.....but right now it is your home. So make it one. I started with 1 room. For example: The bedroom. I know it sounds girly but.....wash & iron the bedlinen (yes, i do...tumble drying it alone just doesn't cut it for me)....If needs must put a cushion on the bed. Pop to Poundland & buy a candle.

It sounds daft but small steps will make things clearer. Change the things you can.......and try not to think all the time about the ones you can't

Thanks you are right of course, a wise friend also told not to waste energy on things i can't influence!

Just got note from the solicitor with pensions actuary report details and of course I need to pay my half at £900 now for them to start and it'll take about 8 weeks...

chirpchirp

CSA is a statutory minimum amount at 15% first child and 5% for the second child. You may only have to pay 15% as I was under the impression it ends at the end of the school year when your child reaches 18.

However, a court looks at the income as a whole and can actually determine that you should be paying more than 20% and a lot depends on the lifestyle your children had before you left.

Dependent on how many years marriage you have had a judge might also decide that you should be paying towards your wife to contribute for loss of earnings whilst she was bringing up your children and could also in extreme situations give a percentage of your pension to her.

I suppose it all depends on how tight money is for you but you should look at 20% minimum towards your kids. Then think about what is a good amount to put towards the household as a whole, whilst there is no statutory amount you have to give it's really up to your conscience and what you can afford.

ampersand

chirpchirp - I suggest you read all of jack's posts if not the whole thread.
Your generalised contribution indicates you have not done so.
I'm sure you mean to support him.

chirpchirp

ampersand wrote: »

chirpchirp - I suggest you read all of jack's posts if not the whole thread.
Your generalised contribution indicates you have not done so.
I'm sure you mean to support him.

Yes you're right I noticed after I'd posted. I was replying to something on about page 3 and my it was only showing about 5 pages at that point but then realised that it really was a huge thread after I had posted.

Thumper7

Hi Jack

I know you are at present going through questions from each other with regards your income and expenditure.

My lawyer advised me not to get hung up on principles, as she said it was good for her fee wise but not so good for me.

I know you want to know what your wife has being doing to up her income and you have not received any response. I wouldn't get your lawyer to push for this. I would just get him/her to slip the question into other correspondence, every time it is necessary to correspond. As I am sure you are aware, this question will arise if you go to court and, in my opinion, the best outcome for you is no paperwork, applications etc from her side. It will show she has done !!!!!! all and that she/her lawyers have evaded the question.

If she does turn up with paperwork, then I would be asking the question why she didn't respond to earlier requests.

D

JackRS

Thumper7 wrote: »

Hi Jack

I know you are at present going through questions from each other with regards your income and expenditure.

My lawyer advised me not to get hung up on principles, as she said it was good for her fee wise but not so good for me.

I know you want to know what your wife has being doing to up her income and you have not received any response. I wouldn't get your lawyer to push for this. I would just get him/her to slip the question into other correspondence, every time it is necessary to correspond. As I am sure you are aware, this question will arise if you go to court and, in my opinion, the best outcome for you is no paperwork, applications etc from her side. It will show she has done !!!!!! all and that she/her lawyers have evaded the question.

If she does turn up with paperwork, then I would be asking the question why she didn't respond to earlier requests.

D

Thanks yes you are right I'm not pushing it, my solicitor has requested evidence of applications etc. I think they're going down the not fit to work due to emotional stress etc with a doctors note. She has said she has applied to the odd thing but not signed up to the job centre and therefore no JSA etc but think judge will think I should pay rather than the state if she hasn't got a job.

Thumper7

JackRS wrote: »

Thanks yes you are right I'm not pushing it, my solicitor has requested evidence of applications etc. I think they're going down the not fit to work due to emotional stress etc with a doctors note. She has said she has applied to the odd thing but not signed up to the job centre and therefore no JSA etc but think judge will think I should pay rather than the state if she hasn't got a job.

Jack

If she is going down the capability route, she should have applied for ESA. I do know that as you are paying interim maintenance she would not qualify for JSA as it would be income based and her income would be too much.

I fell foul of that rule. Unfortunately for me, my STBX only paid it for 1 month. His lawyer, kept banging on about me claiming benefits, but no matter how I tried to explain it to her, even if I did qualify for JSA there was no way in this world that circa 300 a month was going to cover my expenses of near enough 1000 per month.

I hope you don't think me forward, but if you want a rant, even the mindset from the other side, just pm me and we can swap stories.

D

19lottie82

When is the court date Jack?

JackRS

19lottie82 wrote: »

When is the court date Jack?

Well it was 28 Oct ut it was agreed to pass that due to more info required etc next one is early Jan I think which is target for actuary report on pension etc?

JackRS

I have now received the Order back from the court. The next court hearing is the Financial Dispute Resolution Appointment (FDR). The FDR has been listed . It will be necessary to be at Court for no later than 9.00 am.

I have retained a very good barrister called 'removed' to represent you at the hearing. fee will be between £800 - £1,000 + VAT. I attach a link to his profile, for your information:-


The point of the FDR is to allow negotiations to take place on an open basis. At this stage it is hoped that we will be in receipt of all the necessary valuations, reports and answers to questions to allow fruitful negotiations to take place.

This hearing is the only hearing where the Judge is privy to what either parties’ best offer is. The Judge can then hopefully provide an indication of he/she thinks would be a fair settlement.

Given this Judge will know details of the best offer you or 'ex' would be willing to make, if matters do not settle that Judge can have no further involvement in the proceedings. Therefore if the matter proceeds to a Final Hearing any “Open Offer” made for that hearing, is never normally as good as the best offer being made at FDR.

The FDR Judge’s powers are limited to approving an order that is reached by agreement or making directions. The FDR Judge cannot impose any Final Order upon you.

Before the FDR, there are two more ‘jobs’ that I need to ask you to attend to:-

1. Can you obtain details of 5 properties that you believe are suitable for you, and 5 properties that you believe are suitable for her
2. Can you provide me with details of your mortgage capacity. I suggest you approach an independent mortgage advisor to undertake this exercise for you.

Could you provide me with this information by no later than the 18th November?


So looks like I need to find an IMA did use one in the past need to find them...