Separated, how much should I provide?

RAS

JackRS

Try the mortgage forum http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?s=&daysprune=&f=15

There are several mortgage advisors over there.

harz99

JackRS

I know you've got a lot on your plate, but is anything happening? It's a bit worrying when someone goes from posting frequently to nothing for two weeks; are you okay?

duchy

Jack posts only when he has developments ..... and remember the pace of all of this is law and lawyer dependent and the wheels of justice grind very slowly !!

I don't think we can expect to hear much until the pensions are looked at -and bringing financial institutions into the mix doesn't imply speed With this thread I work on the basis that no news is good news and know we'll hear from Jack when he has news.

JackRS

harz99 wrote: »

JackRS

I know you've got a lot on your plate, but is anything happening? It's a bit worrying when someone goes from posting frequently to nothing for two weeks; are you okay?

Sorry not much to update at the moment really. I sent my solicitor first response to all the questions that I've been asked from hers, had done about 75% of it so thought I'd share what I'd done so far to get the feedback. Still got to get suitable house details etc.

Had asked the ex not to ask me on our sons behalf for driving lesson money but to encourage him to contact me as he's still not responding to me. However still got nothing so decided to transfer the money anyway even though he doesn't want acknowledge me. Yes I'm being weak but don't want to regret it later.

Still feels like a long way to go to get through this, which suits solicitors the most.

Had my 6 month review with my boss a couple of weeks back who's notice my performance has been affected, so I need to find the motivation from somewhere to get myself back on track.

I get upset most days especially when I get back to the rental and look at the mess my life is. I know not as bad as many and I know it's been my choice which I don't regret but it's depressing and I feel very sad. I've got support from friends and family and you guys so please don't worry I'm OK. However all that support doesn't change the facts and I feel myself getting weaker and wondering if I will really find happiness in the future. Just struggling to enjoy the things I used to and take any pleasure out of life. I guess this is to be expected with all the changes I've made, just need to let it take it's time. Christmas coming up and I'm off work for a week and half but it scares me. Lots of people and family asking me to join them but just don't want to. Maybe I'll get involved in some charity support and help those less fortunate than myself. Sorry you got me at a low moment and I've rambled as ever...

Thanks for the help guys.

JackRS

duchy wrote: »

Jack posts only when he has developments ..... and remember the pace of all of this is law and lawyer dependent and the wheels of justice grind very slowly !!

I don't think we can expect to hear much until the pensions are looked at -and bringing financial institutions into the mix doesn't imply speed With this thread I work on the basis that no news is good news and know we'll hear from Jack when he has news.

Yeah that's about it, I feel I give you guys too much detail but then it's therapy for me.

Thanks

duchy

It's a bit of a wake up call when work start commenting isn't it !
I think when circumstances change Christmas is a lousy time of year-all that forced happiness and determination to make it a family time (no matter how many rows it causes ) seems to be conspiring to underline that your life is currently in a transitional stage. Just keep reminding yourself "This too will pass" the one thing about life is that it is never static.


It's probably not a bad idea to start planning now what you're going to do with your break -if you want to volunteer now is the time to do it-lots of charities need notice so don't leave offering your services too late..... or had you considered a break away -skiing is usually pretty reasonable at Christmas as a lot of people have commitments for Christmas day so go for new year and chalet type holidays are very sociable. I've always fancied Christmas day in Las Vegas as despite the glitz and decorations it's the most un-Chirsmassy place I know ....or a hotel in London can be very reasonable and Christmas day in a deserted capital can be unique (and still possible to get a decent meal in places with other religions - for example the Jewish areas of North London)..........alternatively treat the break as a complete rest-don't try and replicate Christmas but call it Jack-mas and treat yourself to your favourite foods and treats. I think if you are missing the family dynamic (if not the actual situation ) then trying to slot into someone elses Christmas can be uncomfortable - Have your own Christmas day plans but accept invitations on other days ..maybe ?

Hang on in there Jack ....

kelpie35

This is part of your new journey to your new life, Jack.

These feelings are only natural and it shows the real person you are, kind, honest and caring.

I hope you can get back on track work wise. I am sure your manager will understand the stress you have recently been under.

I think the idea of volunteering over christmas is excellent. Often when we are going through difficult times ourselves it helps show us how much we have to be grateful for.

Stay strong and look after yourself.

ampersand

Jack - furious, just lost long post to you.
Now subscribing.
Definitely agree with volunteering at crimbo - had been my thought when I saw your Thread by chance. Was closing putah, which I must now do.
Strength and courage Jack. Be afraid - [STRIKE]ancient crone[/STRIKE]Woman of Wisdom, much-honed by Life, is now on your case.:D

HOMEWORK:[c.b.a./not my thaingg/m.y.o.b. will not be accepted as excuses]
By the weekend, have a hyacinth vase with an indoor bulb on it at your windowsill.

ampersand

JackRS wrote: »

Thanks, You know what there's a huge risk of falling asleep during the film. I've got history for it, I remember falling asleep watching JFK in the cinema, mind you it wasn't the best of films.

#############
Just catching up on last few pages, Jack.
I fell asleep in Gandhi........:D
#############
From the lost post -
Printing from this Thread can demonstrate attitudes/facts as secondary evidence for legal peeps. Not legally admissible as P of E, but sound as point of rebuttal and attitude of Jack, not something to be ruled out, given the current state of wellbeing/sleep pattern/work performance, which is entirely comprehensible.

For what it's worth, I too absent myself from crimbo these days. Went to Paris last year, mega cheapie, as befits precariat status these days. But one CAN live Jack and live well, not merely survive. It is all a great game and an adventure. You will find this, I promise.

**Patty**

I once fell asleep at the cinema watching MI2.....It was a second date and i was fast off before the opening credits had gone up:o

Jack.....I've had some rough times. I know how it feels to walk into somewhere, have your heart plummet & think *is this it?*

Nothing is a quick fix. So start small. Your rental may not be your forever home.....but right now it is your home. So make it one. I started with 1 room. For example: The bedroom. I know it sounds girly but.....wash & iron the bedlinen (yes, i do...tumble drying it alone just doesn't cut it for me)....If needs must put a cushion on the bed. Pop to Poundland & buy a candle.

It sounds daft but small steps will make things clearer. Change the things you can.......and try not to think all the time about the ones you can't