Separated, how much should I provide? 18 April 2013 at 12:32PM edited 31 August 2016 at 12:26PM in Marriage, Relationships & Families 3.3K replies 590.3K views

JackRS

LisaLou1982 wrote: »

Agree with the above that you are paying far too much!!

The bills are for your wife to cover. You do not live in the house so you do not need to pay them.

The tax credits and JSA she should claim will make things tighter than she is used to but she will need to budget accordingly.

Re maintanence for your children, 20% of your income for 2 children whilst they are in FTE and then its obviously up to you if you want to carry on paying for their driving lessons etc

Thanks

Point is she has no income to cover house bills so are you saying that she may be elligible for JSA and tax credits? Who should she speak to review this situation, is it a case of going to the job center?

So is 20% for each child so effectively 40%?

Treevo

JackRS wrote: »

Thanks

Point is she has no income to cover house bills so are you saying that she may be elligible for JSA and tax credits? Who should she speak to review this situation, is it a case of going to the job center?

So is 20% for each child so effectively 40%?

20% of your income in total.

She'll have to apply for benefits forthwith. She can do so online.

neneromanova

20% is for both children. Not each. When the eldest leaves FTE then you will have to pay 15% for 1 child.

She needs to get herself down the job centre or a temping agency to start getting some work/money in. As there's no mortgage it'll be just bills and food to find.

I would stop putting your money in the joint account so you can start getting your own place and start living your life again. It won't go against you in court as they don't look at that kind of thing.

RAS

No you are expected to pay 15% of your net income if you have one childa and 20 percent in total if you have two eligible children.

What course is the elder one studying???

You MUST sort out the joint bank account urgently. Get your own accoutn and get your salary paid in. Your wife needs to get her own sole account as well.

Close the joint account; if you think there is any chance she will raid it and run up and overdraft then write to the bank (take it in) and tell them that all future debits require both signatures.

Your wife needs to go her www.turn2us.org.uk to work out what support she can get.

She is not entitled to contributions based JSA but can claim income based JSA. But because you have a joint bank account and she is using your salary at will, she will be assessed as having too much income. So you need to split everything properly.

Since we do not know your income, we cannot comment on the suitability of your offer.

But is your wife wants to do something llike the ECDL then I would offer to pay as she will have more chance getting work.

lazer

The 20% of income is the minimu you should pay - but it doesn't mean you can't pay more.

If you feel you want or feel there is some reason you should pay more go ahead.

Lunar_Eclipse

heartbreak_star wrote: »

I think that's far too much personally!!

HBS x

No-one can judge that without knowing the family income level and lifestyle circumstances.

minimoneysaver

Jack it sound like you are approaching this situation in a fair way. Maybe you could offer to help her to set up the correct benefits while she job hunts etc? Some people on here are all about the, pay the correct amount and get out.' Whereas I feel that you were once a loving family. Life is about more than money.

Your children are more than likely exploring career paths at the moment and if your ex has been out of work for a long time, she may be lacking confidence to apply for jobs & benefits and may need all the help she can get to get it all together. Good luck to you all.

JackRS

RAS wrote: »

No you are expected to pay 15% of your net income if you have one childa and 20 percent in total if you have two eligible children.

What course is the elder one studying???

You MUST sort out the joint bank account urgently. Get your own accoutn and get your salary paid in. Your wife needs to get her own sole account as well.

Close the joint account; if you think there is any chance she will raid it and run up and overdraft then write to the bank (take it in) and tell them that all future debits require both signatures.

Your wife needs to go her www.turn2us.org.uk to work out what support she can get.

She is not entitled to contributions based JSA but can claim income based JSA. But because you have a joint bank account and she is using your salary at will, she will be assessed as having too much income. So you need to split everything properly.

Since we do not know your income, we cannot comment on the suitability of your offer.

But is your wife wants to do something llike the ECDL then I would offer to pay as she will have more chance getting work.

Elder one is on music academy course she had a job for 6 months to pay for train as it’s 70 miles away and she commutes 3 days a week.

Ironically my wife has her own account, I’ve only got joint account but have recently taken out my own with the mind to get my pay in there and then transfer an amount to the joint but are you saying she’ll get accessed on the joint?

JackRS

minimoneysaver wrote: »

Jack it sound like you are approaching this situation in a fair way. Maybe you could offer to help her to set up the correct benefits while she job hunts etc? Some people on here are all about the, pay the correct amount and get out.' Whereas I feel that you were once a loving family. Life is about more than money.

Your children are more than likely exploring career paths at the moment and if your ex has been out of work for a long time, she may be lacking confidence to apply for jobs & benefits and may need all the help she can get to get it all together. Good luck to you all.

Thank you yes this is the line I'm trying to take as I feel guilty as I've always provided and it's my decision to leave, so I'm trying to be fair and reasonable. However I can't really move on and my circumstances are I need to get my own place so can't keep up the same level of financial support.

OrkneyStar

bodmil wrote: »

Yes and no, I agree with the sentiment but if it hasn't been expected or encouraged when the father was living there, I don't see why it is relevant only because he has left them.

I can see where you are coming from, but I hope most parents would encourage their children to look for some sort of work, not only to give them extra money but to give them some experience too (though of course you can get that through voluntary work too).