Separated, how much should I provide?

edited 31 August 2016 at 11:26AM in Marriage, Relationships & Families
3.3K replies 590.6K views
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  • JackRSJackRS Forumite
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    gizmo111 wrote: »
    JackRS wrote: »

    its not about blame its about taking responsibility.
    You are being far too generous and that's why she won't budge, you're giving a choice to carry on like this.

    Yeah you are right trying to do things as pleasantly as possible but getting what I deserve.
    Regards

    JackRS
  • JackRSJackRS Forumite
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    If the marriage is definitely over, I suggest that you go and see a decent divorce solicitor as soon as possible. The solicitor will be able to consider all the facts with you and give you detailed advice, tailored to your circumstances.

    Yes have had discussions with some but want o see if I can get agreement first with Wife before going down that route but it's looking like I'll have to go down tha route now.
    Regards

    JackRS
  • zzzLazyDaisyzzzLazyDaisy Forumite
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    JackRS wrote: »
    Yes have had discussions with some but want o see if I can get agreement first with Wife before going down that route but it's looking like I'll have to go down tha route now.

    Even if you do come to an agreement with your wife, it won't be binding on either of you. Once divorce proceedings start, her lawyer will advise her based on the information about the matrimonial assets, finances and pensions, anyway - which may or may not upset any arrangement you have already reached with her.
    I'm a retired employment solicitor. Hopefully some of my comments might be useful, but they are only my opinion and not intended as legal advice.
  • JackRSJackRS Forumite
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    Even if you do come to an agreement with your wife, it won't be binding on either of you. Once divorce proceedings start, her lawyer will advise her based on the information about the matrimonial assets, finances and pensions, anyway - which may or may not upset any arrangement you have already reached with her.

    Yeah appreciate that I was meaning if we could come to an agreement without lawyers and go down the cheaper option but it's not likely to go that way as it's going to get nasty now.
    Regards

    JackRS
  • JackRSJackRS Forumite
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    She’s being vague about moving south now after I asked when she was planning to go so I have to assume she’ll stay there for a least 3 months could be longer. So I was planning to take my name off the joint account and transfer any personal direct debits to my personal account. I’m not sure if bank will allow me just to request to change the account from joint to sole named just on my say so. If they need her agreement also it may be difficult?
    Regards

    JackRS
  • gizmo111gizmo111 Forumite
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    JackRS wrote: »
    She’s being vague about moving south now after I asked when she was planning to go so I have to assume she’ll stay there for a least 3 months could be longer. So I was planning to take my name off the joint account and transfer any personal direct debits to my personal account. I’m not sure if bank will allow me just to request to change the account from joint to sole named just on my say so. If they need her agreement also it may be difficult?

    Doubt they will change it - but if you explain circumstances they will most likely freeze it so she cant run up overdraft.
    Cancel all the bills in your name and pay her £500 per month - then she will have to claim benefits.
    Mama read so much about the dangers of drinking alcohol and eating chocolate that she immediately gave up reading.
  • JackRSJackRS Forumite
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    gizmo111 wrote: »
    Doubt they will change it - but if you explain circumstances they will most likely freeze it so she cant run up overdraft.
    Cancel all the bills in your name and pay her £500 per month - then she will have to claim benefits.

    OK not sure how to do that at the moment as can't get access to house to get bill details to contact etc but will try other options through bank etc?
    Regards

    JackRS
  • RASRAS Forumite
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    You can tell her that you want that account to be in her sole name and ask her to co-operate by signing the form.

    If she declines, then write to the bank and tell them that ALL further debits have to be signed by both parties. That effectively stop her running up debt in joint names without your consent. It also forces her to run things from her own account or organise the transfer of this account to her sole name.

    Can you go into your own branch and talk to them??
    The person who has not made a mistake, has made nothing
  • JackRSJackRS Forumite
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    RAS wrote: »
    You can tell her that you want that account to be in her sole name and ask her to co-operate by signing the form.

    If she declines, then write to the bank and tell them that ALL further debits have to be signed by both parties. That effectively stop her running up debt in joint names without your consent. It also forces her to run things from her own account or organise the transfer of this account to her sole name.

    Can you go into your own branch and talk to them??

    Well it's first direct so can phone them
    Regards

    JackRS
  • RASRAS Forumite
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    Phone them initially but when it comes to the direction to require both signatories, you must write to make it legally valid.
    The person who has not made a mistake, has made nothing
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