How do I get myself into these situations?

SunshineButterfly

heartbreak star he probably does no yes. Hence all the mithering today with text messages.

If I end up having to change my number I guess its a small price to pay for comfort and less stress..

Lilith1980

I have just remembered, I worked with a young woman who had been stalked by someone she got into a relationship with and then wanted to finish because he'd become so controlling and with the non-stop communicating.

She did go to the police but didn't press charges, but they told her to get another SIM and tell trusted people her new number, but to keep her current SIM in a safe place so that he can keep sending the messages but she wouldn't see them. Her seeing his messages was the thing causing her the most distress.

Eventually he gave up contacting her and she's never seen him since.

I think changing your number would be a start but make sure you keep the SIM as it is your evidence. And be careful who you give your new number to in case someone gives it to him without knowing his history.

Alpha58

marisco wrote: »

You need to contact the police. You are suffering harassement and whenever you make attempts to reason with this guy he is choosing to ignore this.

Marisco's 100% right. Even if you don't want to pursue this as a "stalker" at the moment, it will help you if the local plod are aware. Forces have specially trained officers who deal with this sort of problem; they can put you on a "watch list" so if he turns up and starts throwing a wobbly, you can press the button and have them round quickly. It could well be that words of wisdom from the boys (or girls) in blue would be all it would take to warn him off.

You don't have to put up with this - so don't!

marisco_2

Alpha58 wrote: »

it will help you if the local plod are aware. Forces have specially trained officers who deal with this sort of problem; they can put you on a "watch list" so if he turns up and starts throwing a wobbly, you can press the button and have them round quickly

This is correct. A few years back my former family home was put on what the police termed as 'immediate response'. OP I am very much hoping that this guy is not causing you any more hassle and that he has finally got the message to leave you alone.

If not then Alpha58s advice is sound. I think you would be wise to consider changing your number to prevent any unwanted contact via calls or text. The guy would be an idiot and on very dodgy ground, to continue harrassing you in any way, especially now that you have your children living with you. Hope all is okay with you.

Richard53

Cut off all contact - all contact. When he texts you, keep it but don't read it (hard, I know) and don't reply at all - even a one-liner. If he gets a reply he'll think he's still in with a chance and he only has to 'talk sense into you'. If he keeps getting zero response, he might eventually get the message. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

Telling the police, even if you don't make a formal complaint, is a good idea.

And I would echo what others have said - if he does self-harm or OD (highly, highly unlikely) then it is his decision alone, and nothing whatsoever to do with you. You cannot cause him to self-harm. It is not in your power to do so. He is trying to manipulate you into doing what he wants, and he believes you are nice enough to go along with it. Do not play the game. You sound to me to have been too nice for too long.

And I sincerely wish you all the very best. This deranged behaviour must be very worrying, and you don't have to put up with it.