Back and Feeling rather ashamed!

pania

delicate to say the least. wine is the master of all things evil. Have loads of work to do and was expecting a really nice hot day to watch the cricket.

Don't you just love reading back over sozzled messages when sober again? eeeee!! was a nice evening though.

How are you today are you ok?

blackangeluk

MORNING P! Does the shouting make your head hurt? :rotfl: Glad you have a good evening. I remember DH and me taking all our parents out together for the first time :eek: scary but over and done with.

I may join in your £500 challenge if I could? I have got a bit of stuff to ebay and could do with saving £500 towards a CC and just paying a chunk of it off.

pania

aye go for it BA! the morer the merrierer. Do you wanna join the first to challenge to? My target is 24k pre christmas, scaredy's is to 10k pre chrimbo and yours could be 21k pre christmas. need a boot up me bum but as i now have a less spendthriftish OH it should be easier to keep my money to myself!!

So what we all up to today? I'm off to see DP, suntan lotion his nose and spray him with citronella (for the flies, not because i want him to smell like a girl but i'm sure he thinks thats my motivation!!) Then taking laptop to cricket, no wireless access but can get loaads of work done without hte temptation of MSE!!
Have a good day everyone whatever you get up to. xx

Oh and PS, BA please don't shout honey, IT HURTS!!!!

hypno06

Have a good day - make sure you drink plenty of water in the sunshine!!

Things here are ok, clients today which is good and the neck definately benefitted from my lazy day yesterday, although it is protesting a little today. Oh well, getting there!

Glad you have a nice evening. Have a good weekend x

pania

watch your arms and wrists to though if they start to play up, don't over do it!!

blackangeluk

aye go for it BA! the morer the merrierer. Do you wanna join the first to challenge to? My target is 24k pre christmas, scaredy's is to 10k pre chrimbo and yours could be 21k pre christmas. need a boot up me bum but as i now have a less spendthriftish OH it should be easier to keep my money to myself!!

Ok, see if I can get to £21k before xmas, that would be a massive achievement if I could! Will update my sig later.

I have been making a moussaka for tea tonight and some biscuits with the kids. Now sat down with the said home made bics, and catching up on some Sky+ so lovely day - thanks to flylady I have no housework to do

Have a lovely time at cricket.

p.s. Get HP, just think of all that money saving you are doing when you reading it

pania

hi all, had a great day sitting on the cricket field, working on me laptop and enjoying the sun.... until this evening.... Was a fancy dress night. All the players had been out hiring expensive fancy dress costumes, questions of "so why haven't you to dressed up?" were abundant. How about "cos we couldn't bloomin afford it, next question?" then "why aren't you drinking? you could grab a room in the travel lodge, it's only £36 at the weekend" followed swiftly by " i'm not buying you another drink, i've not seen you put your hand in your pocket for ages!" to OH.
Christ it felt sh 1 t. Why is the world so exclusionary when you have no money. I'm concerned about how were going to eat for the rest of the month without blinking fancy dress costumes to! I know that very shortly things will be better but why can't this be now.
Does anyone else wish they could click their fingers and have it over with? or feel that the world is incredibly exclusionary when things are tight?
OH being really nice about it all, told him how responsible i feel that i can't give us a lovely life right now and he said as the man it should be down to him and he carries so much guilt that he can't treat me as his friends treat their girlies. Was comforting to know.
Have been really upbeat last few days so will view this as a blip and sorry for the grumble. Sweetdreams all.

PS BA i avoided harry like the plague! wonder if the library has it yet?

hypno06

Morning!

Right. Reality check. First of all, we all wish we could wake up and have the debt gone. So, you are right to come on here and have a moan - we know how you feel.

Secondly, how many of those at the cricket club simply haven't had their LBM yet - they may be paying for fancy dress/rounds of drinks/travelodge rooms with money they do not have. They will be thinking of their own MSE user names before long, mark my words!

Thirdly, you know that your lack of funds is not all down to you - so stop apologising to him for the pickle you are BOTH in. He has been contributing to the pickle with cars/low earnings/general head in the sand/out with the lads stuff so he is as responsible as you are - you are in this together.

Fourthly, (blimey, didn't realise I could count this far, early on a Sunday morning), presumably you don't ask OH to pay anything towards the upkeep of the pony? That is your "luxury you will never be prepared to give up" just as the kids skiing is the one thing I will never (apart from decent coffee) sacrifice. So OH's equivalent is the cricket and all that goes with it. My point here being, what have YOU got to feel guilty about. If he can't afford it, it is NOT YOUR FAULT!!!! Same as if you can't afford DP, it is not HIS fault.

Fifthly, just have more excuses available next time - can't stay overnight because have to get up early in the morning and stuff like that.

So, missy, pick yourself up, brush yourself down, and enjoy the sunshine today. Go and see DP and put some suncream and a straw hat on him. Be proud of the fact that you are both (you and OH, not you and DP) are working now towards your relative debts and you will get to the point where things are more comfortable. At that time, the cricket mates will be posting their SOAs....

xxx

redsquirrel80

pania wrote: »

Does anyone else wish they could click their fingers and have it over with? or feel that the world is incredibly exclusionary when things are tight?

Morning P.. oh yes, I know exactly where you're coming from! Great advice from Hypno, especially about having excuses ready. I must admit to having used a few white lies when I'm asked to go out somewhere and can't afford it - got something else organised, etc (depending who it is, I sometimes say I can't afford it, but am a bit ashamed to admit that to everyone and I'm sure some people are tired of hearing it!).

People judge everyone from their own circumstances I think, so I get people at work who earn more than me, or have less outgoings, or put everything on their credit card and don't worry about it, asking why I'm not going on holiday.. because they have at least two trips abroad every year, so that's normal to them! I also think some of them are desperate to ask me where all my money goes, when they know that I buy cheap everything (one of them keeps saying "you always seem to get good bargains" re food shopping, I'm desperate to say "that's because I don't go to M&S everyday for that night's tea, and if I didn't get good bargains I'd either starve or be in court over my debts!"). They wonder why I've been in my flat for 9 months and still haven't bought all the furniture I need ('want' really I guess, as I've managed without it) - budget just hasn't allowed. So yep, I know what you mean, and I must to admit to having had a lot of 'it's not fair, if I had more money I could...' thoughts this weekend!

It says a lot about your relationship with OH that you're working together to get out of debt (even if he has been a bit reluctant, you're getting there now). That's a lot harder and takes a lot more strength than just going out doing nice/ fun stuff together.

Anyway, enough rambling from me, have a lovely day and get back on that positive curve xx

pania

:mad: GAH!! Just typed out a really long post in reply to yours and lost it!!!:mad:

Just going to have some breakfast and then wil try again!