Solicitor not carrying out our instructions

zzzLazyDaisy

The solicitor may not have had the best bedside manner, but he was doing what he is required to do by the professional standards of conduct.

You are not married. This means that in the event that the relationship breaks down, she has few rights. If the house is put into joint names, with no trust deed and no provision for tenants in common, then if you split up you are entitled to half the money in the house. That is the law. So she is not only risking losing half of the money that her parents left her, but she is also at risk of losing her home and that of her child, if the relationship breaks down.

I realise that you have plans to marry and have another child, but the solicitor cannot deal with future plans, he can only deal with the facts as they present themselves today. That means that he MUST clearly advise your partner of the consequences of what she is proposing to do, and he should also advise her of the need to make a will. Any solicitor with any sense at all would also confirm the advice in writing.

Further, he has a duty to make sure she is fully aware of the potential consequences of what she is proposing to do - that is protecting her interests as he is professionally obliged to do. He would have to ask you to leave so that he could advise her privately and professionally how to protect her interests. This is because it is in your best interests to have the house in joint names (for the reasons stated above) and in her best interests to keep it in her sole name. The solicitors professional code of conduct provides that he cannot advise both parties if there is a conflict of interests of this nature, hence his request that you leave the room.

You say that the solicitor wanted to deal with the house in such a way that even if you were married, if something happened to her, you would have to leave the house. I think you have misunderstood this, because even if she bought the house in her sole name, all she needs to do is to make a will leaving the house to you on her death, and that would be covered.

You seem to be reacting very emotionally to the solicitor's efforts to protect your partner's interests. I suggest that you take a long breath and look at it from her point of view, and consider the enormity of what she is proposing to do. As an unmarried parent of a small child, if things go wrong between you, she is potentially in a very precarious position indeed (it would be very different if you were married as the law gives much more protection to married mothers when relationships break down).

Maybe you could consider her buying the house in her sole name for the security of herself and the child, and then putting it in joint names when you marry, since you plan to marry later anyway?

Tyler119

zzzLazyDaisy wrote: »

The solicitor may not have had the best bedside manner, but he was doing what he is required to do by the professional standards of conduct.

You are not married. This means that in the event that the relationship breaks down, she has few rights. If the house is put into joint names, with no trust deed and no provision for tenants in common, then if you split up you are entitled to half the money in the house. That is the law. So she is not only risking losing half of the money that her parents left her, but she is also at risk of losing her home and that of her child, if the relationship breaks down.

I realise that you have plans to marry and have another child, but the solicitor cannot deal with future plans, he can only deal with the facts as they present themselves today. That means that he MUST clearly advise your partner of the consequences of what she is proposing to do, and he should also advise her of the need to make a will. Any solicitor with any sense at all would also confirm the advice in writing.

Further, he has a duty to make sure she is fully aware of the potential consequences of what she is proposing to do - that is protecting her interests as he is professionally obliged to do. He would have to ask you to leave so that he could advise her privately and professionally how to protect her interests. This is because it is in your best interests to have the house in joint names (for the reasons stated above) and in her best interests to keep it in her sole name. The solicitors professional code of conduct provides that he cannot advise both parties if there is a conflict of interests of this nature, hence his request that you leave the room.

You say that the solicitor wanted to deal with the house in such a way that even if you were married, if something happened to her, you would have to leave the house. I think you have misunderstood this, because even if she bought the house in her sole name, all she needs to do is to make a will leaving the house to you on her death, and that would be covered.

You seem to be reacting very emotionally to the solicitor's efforts to protect your partner's interests. I suggest that you take a long breath and look at it from her point of view, and consider the enormity of what she is proposing to do. As an unmarried parent of a small child, if things go wrong between you, she is potentially in a very precarious position indeed (it would be very different if you were married as the law gives much more protection to married mothers when relationships break down).

Maybe you could consider her buying the house in her sole name for the security of herself and the child, and then putting it in joint names when you marry, since you plan to marry later anyway?

Thank you and to everyone else too! I really am taking your comments seriously and will be having another conversation with her. I don't want to make her money mine either. She thinks of it as just our money, however in my mind it was her parents. There my be a substantial amount of money in our joint account but I'm not out buying things for myself.

We did not misunderstand him because he said she should do a will and put in it that if something happens to her then I have no claim to the house or any money that she leaves behind.

We are emotional about his attitude towards us, rather than what he was trying to do. He didn't discuss things with us, just made notes on what he was saying and like I said went on to tell us how to bring up our child and my business.

I do understand that he has to put her interests first, which is fine. Its the manner he has tried to do it in.

After her parents passed away my partner said we need to have wills done and still do, she would prefer someone else did them now though.

Thanks again.

ILW

Who is paying the solicitor?

poppysarah

Tyler119 wrote: »

But she has given her instructions.

He is protecting his interests so that in a few years if things went wrong for you then he wouldn't be sued for not giving her the full information about her money.

He wants to see her on her own to see that she is not being coerced.

Tyler119

hazyjo wrote: »

You might think you'll both stay together forever, but, I don't mean to be cynical, but the odds say you stand a good chance of splitting up later down the line.

I'd stop taking it so personally and say yes, of course, you should be protecting that money. She can leave money to you in a will, or make plans for your child's future, if she wants, but I don't see why you would want to think of that money as yours.

If you lost both of your parents, would they want the inheritance to go to you, or would they be happy for you to split the money with your girlfriend? Maybe ask them - see what their reaction is...

Jx
PS Sorry to hear about her loss - it's a bloody awful time. Lost my dad last year and can't imagine how she must be feeling!

I hear what you are saying, and yes it is a tad cynical. Neither of us believe in odds with these things.

I don't think of that money as mine, in fact she is the one that thinks of it as both ours. I know where it came from. There's a very good reason why I only spend what I did before the money hit our joint account.

Before her parents passing away (which was very sudden) I was looking at asking my partner to marry me while on holiday this summer, which I started planning last year. Now after her getting the inheritance and this solicitor stuff I honestly feel I can't because of how it would look to everyone else. I have never asked anything from anyone in my life and the last thing i want is folk thinking "he's only doing that for the money"!


To be honest my parents aren't too bothered, to them when they are gone they will have no more worries about that sort of thing.

ps. I am very sorry to hear about your loss too! It has been very difficult. My partner has coped really well and I've just tried to be there for her and support her when needed.

Tyler119

ILW wrote: »

Who is paying the solicitor?

We both are, the cheque was drawn on our joint account. Surely that doesn't make an difference does it?

blckbrd

Tyler119 wrote: »

I don't think of that money as mine... I have never asked anything from anyone in my life and the last thing i want is folk thinking "he's only doing that for the money"!

Then tell your partner to have the house in her sole name and to will it to the child(ren). She asked your opinion and, frankly, I think your answer was weak.

Who cares what people may think?! When you eventually man up and ask her to marry you, perhaps you might revisit the decision.

If it's not about the inheritance money, stop making it about the inheritance money.

FBaby

It sounds like she is more than ready for marriage but that you are not?

I personally think that whatever the reasons are for not getting married (or not being married yet) has a serious bearing on what she should do.

GDB2222

Tyler119 wrote: »

But she has given her instructions.

You were present at the time, and it's her money. So, she needs to get advice of her own, without you present, then think about what to do.

Quite frankly, if I were the solicitor I would resign rather than go ahead on the basis of the property being jointly owned. Yes, I would be passing up some fees, but I'd be avoiding around a 50/50 chance of being dragged into some messy negligence litigation at some future date.

Tyler119

MacMickster wrote: »

Is this money currently held in a joint account? If so, then I think that this should clearly convey your attitude towards money as a couple and you immediately need to change solicitors (and refuse to pay any fees to date).

If, however, the money is held in account in your partner's sole name then you currently have no claim on it (unless provided for in your partner's will) and the solicitor is keen to preserve the status quo, or at least talk to your partner alone to ensure that she is totally comfortable with the change, understands the implications and is not subject to any form of coercion. Sadly there are many examples where a dominant partner can "persuade" another to go along with their wishes. Do you think that a solicitor should have any responsibilty to try to prevent such situations?

Yes the money is in our joint account as it's only account we have and the only account we have always had. The solicitor knows this as he asked for a bank statement to show proof of funds for the house. Funny you asked that, my partner said to me that the money is in our own account so he should stay out of it.

Anyway I do think they have a responsibility depending on the circumstances and should use their experienced judgment. I've been on to my partner today asking her if I can make the appointment for her, and she says she just to email him directly and tell him what she wants done.