Solicitor not carrying out our instructions

G_M

Oh - and read this recent similar thread. A very sensible poster raising the question himself instead of taking umbrage when a solicitor raises it...

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4545125

Tyler119

olly300 wrote: »

The solicitor has a professional duty to do as much as possible to protect your partner's money regardless of your instructions.

The alternative is for him to refuse to act for you.

This is so in 5 years time if you split up your partner cannot turn around and attempt to sue the solicitor or raise a complaint about him. He is also being nice and saving you and your partner money in the future if you do split up.

Solicitors have a legal and professional duty to keep private matters private. They can be prevented from practising if they breach client confidentiality. If you are scared of talking to a solicitor about financial issues including making wills even you have a child, then may be you shouldn't be buying a property.

Some conveyancing solicitors also deal with other areas of law. However you also get conveyancers who aren't solicitors.

Personally I suggest you and your partner have a serious grown up talk about protecting the property for your child if you split up, one of you dies or your business needs cash from the property. Then go to see another solicitor get something drawn up or if you want to save on solicitor's fees just get married.

haha well that's what my partner said, if I hurry up and ask her then none of this would matter! In fact our close friends have said the same thing.

The solicitor was wanting to do the property in a way that even if we did get married it would not be jointly owned and if something happened to my partner then I would have vacate the property.

My business would not need money from the property as it is a business with almost no outgoings and little overheads. Even if it did I would deal with that and would never ask her to give up money for it.

Not been funny, but we have had plenty of grown up conversations about it. We are almost 28.

My partner certainly knows her own mind and even if I wanted to I couldn't maker her do anything that she didn't want to.

I am not sure how my partner could raise a complaint as he has a signed letter from her with her instructions on it. She didn't even ask him to do a will and he says he is sending out a draft one for her and will likely try and charge us for it!

We have not had the best time with solicitors though. The firm that held her parents wills were going to fleece her and sister for a skip full of money. I used to deal with bereavements in a bank and so I stepped in, did most of the work that the solicitor was going to charge thousands for and then take percentage of the overall estate! They tried to be very sneaky about it and so none of us have total trust in that profession.

kwmlondon

Actually, you should find this reassuring. Someone, besides you, is looking out for the best interests of your partner. Think of it this way - you and your partner are open and honest about the financial situation. You've discussed this and it's what you both want. However, how many women out there are being dominated and manipulated by a boyfriend? If you have to take the annoyance of a solicitor trying to see your partner alone, it means that maybe some other woman out there will actually be steered away from signing over her possessions to a less reasonable person than you are with your partner. Be generous and take the c**p so that someone else may benefit from your solicitors wanting to put the woman first.

Tyler119

kwmlondon wrote: »

Actually, you should find this reassuring. Someone, besides you, is looking out for the best interests of your partner. Think of it this way - you and your partner are open and honest about the financial situation. You've discussed this and it's what you both want. However, how many women out there are being dominated and manipulated by a boyfriend? If you have to take the annoyance of a solicitor trying to see your partner alone, it means that maybe some other woman out there will actually be steered away from signing over her possessions to a less reasonable person than you are with your partner. Be generous and take the c**p so that someone else may benefit from your solicitors wanting to put the woman first.

I already thought she should go, but it is her saying that she doesn't want. She hates dealing with any of this sort of stuff and leaves it usually to me. She'll probably have to calm down first before going in though!

propertyman

Tyler119 wrote: »

I already thought she should go, but it is her saying that she doesn't want. She hates dealing with any of this sort of stuff and leaves it usually to me. She'll probably have to calm down first before going in though!

Well that reflects my earlier post about reactions. It's perfectly natural and all she need do is understand that as the reaction is of her own making.

Forgive an outsider for seeing that reluctance as possibly being fear as much as a dislike dealing with such issues and a "no overhead little turnover" as pie in the sky free loading- I am not saying it is but just understand how it might.

He has best interests at heart even though you both and he might disagree on what the best interests are

1: reflect on what he has said so far and agree your responses.

2: listen to the advice given and having discussed it go through each option

And this is the sort of thing that builds a relationship by dealing with issues together.

MacMickster

Is this money currently held in a joint account? If so, then I think that this should clearly convey your attitude towards money as a couple and you immediately need to change solicitors (and refuse to pay any fees to date).

If, however, the money is held in account in your partner's sole name then you currently have no claim on it (unless provided for in your partner's will) and the solicitor is keen to preserve the status quo, or at least talk to your partner alone to ensure that she is totally comfortable with the change, understands the implications and is not subject to any form of coercion. Sadly there are many examples where a dominant partner can "persuade" another to go along with their wishes. Do you think that a solicitor should have any responsibilty to try to prevent such situations?

bouicca21

tbh once you are married, all assets are in the pot for division, whether it's in her name or not. Also once you are married the years of cohabitation will be counted as part of the length of the marriage. In a short childless marriage the parties usually take out what they bring in; it's a whole different ballgame if it is a long relationship or if there are children.

It sounds as though your solicitor is not only rude but unfamiliar with family law - which doesn't follow the same rules as the rest of the legal world.

Tyler119

propertyman wrote: »

Well that reflects my earlier post about reactions. It's perfectly natural and all she need do is understand that as the reaction is of her own making.

Forgive an outsider for seeing that reluctance as possibly being fear as much as a dislike dealing with such issues and a "no overhead little turnover" as pie in the sky free loading- I am not saying it is but just understand how it might.

He has best interests at heart even though you both and he might disagree on what the best interests are

1: reflect on what he has said so far and agree your responses.

2: listen to the advice given and having discussed it go through each option

And this is the sort of thing that builds a relationship by dealing with issues together.

In a lot of ways I agree with what you are saying.

My overheads are low as my business is a web development company. My main overhead is my own time. He tried to tell me about my business, yet his own company website looks like it was done more than a decade ago.....and looks and feels terrible. I was with her long before there was any inheritance and I've never free loaded in my entire life (excluding being a child at one point) though I have always had jobs since I was 12 years old.

I could totally understand the solicitor seeing her having all the money and me just being along for the ride. However he should perhaps not be so judgmental and maybe see us as people and not just see everything as being money.

StuC75

Tyler119 wrote: »

I already thought she should go, but it is her saying that she doesn't want. She hates dealing with any of this sort of stuff and leaves it usually to me. She'll probably have to calm down first before going in though!

This is exactly the reason why should go for the meeting to confirm what her own intentions are in this matter so as to prevent such issues down the line. I've had a similar(ish) experience in the past when someone has then tried to imply things were not explained to them down the line.

The solicitor may be correct to be wary of you running your own business, were it to go into debt, and you had half ownership of a house; could it then put that at risk.. Regardless of how your business is set now - what could change over the time. Would it be right to carry that risk; and should that be something considered now..

hazyjo

You might think you'll both stay together forever, but, I don't mean to be cynical, but the odds say you stand a good chance of splitting up later down the line.

I'd stop taking it so personally and say yes, of course, you should be protecting that money. She can leave money to you in a will, or make plans for your child's future, if she wants, but I don't see why you would want to think of that money as yours.

If you lost both of your parents, would they want the inheritance to go to you, or would they be happy for you to split the money with your girlfriend? Maybe ask them - see what their reaction is...

Jx
PS Sorry to hear about her loss - it's a bloody awful time. Lost my dad last year and can't imagine how she must be feeling!