Madeleine's Fund : Leaving No Stone Unturned

RACHIE77

HugoSP wrote: »

Questions:
I cannot stand the condesending opinions of a number of people who's sole purpose in life seems to be to stand and criticise. These poeple have obvioulsy never made a single mistake in their lives, they live by a perfect code that is the golden chalice of reason.

I'm not one to be put in little boxes, but since I feel that the way the McCanns acted was not right, and voiced my opinion in this thread, I will assume that some of your comments were directed at me so will have a go at answering you. From what I gather I am guessing you have decided that just because I voice my opinion (on what I feel is rather bad actions by the parents of a small child that did not deserve to be left alone, no matter how "secure" the parents thought things were...) that I am to be labelled as someone whose "sole purpose in life seems to be to stand and criticise" - blimey! There is nothing like tarring a whole forum full of people with opinions with the same brush ey! LOL! I really don't think you can generalise about why people have an opinion that doesn't match yours

As for the making mistakes part, I can wholly hold my hands up and say yes I have made mistakes before, and I have learnt by them. About 18 months ago I was on holiday in Majorca and was sat outside at a Bar downstairs from our hotel room, it was also a family complex, maybe similar to the one in Portugal, I dont know, and there were a few seats by a grassy area where we sat down for a drink while the two boys (my son and step-son) played with other kids of their own age. My daughter who was not yet walking age was strapped in the buggy next to me. The boys were always in our sight and - or so we thought - although for a split second (literally all it took) they obviously weren't... It wasn't late in the evening, maybe about 8pm as there were lots of kids out playing together, but I was distracted for that second, possibly looking at my little girl, who knows, and when I looked round my son was gone.

He had gotten curious and wandered off on his own, he was only a toddler but I do appreciate that moment when you realise they are gone. I screamed, and ran and ran everywhere that I could, I was yelling at people to help me, and about 15 minutes went by and still no sign of him. There were swimming pools and roads nearby and I was going out of my mind with worry. He had ran away, I don't know why, but the direction he went to was towards a crowd of people and I couldn't find him. I was fortunate enough to have found him safe, he had made his way across a large crowd and an announcement was being made on the stage of an outdoor arena in the complex, not close to where we were sat.

Right that moment after I realised he had gone I felt so guilty for not giving him my 101% attention, for letting him play where I obviously DIDNT have as much ability to watch him, my stepson and my daughter as I thought I could have - I deeply regretted it, as the tears were running down my face and I ran round and round the complex I realised I had let him down.

Whether what I did was right or wrong in your eyes is not an issue right now, all I am proving is that yes we do make mistakes but also that I am not too proud to admit it. The thing that upsets me about the situation with Madeleine McCann going missing is that the parents have maintained that the situation they left their children in was acceptable - in other words they do not feel they made a mistake, instead they are justifying their actions

We all make mistakes, of course we do, some with more devastating results than others, but we fail ourselves and our children when we do not learn by them nor admit them.

I am so careful about keeping my kids within my sight now, maybe thats why I am so upset that the parents went out for the evening leaving them alone, I realise how precious their lives are, I won't be unique in a kid running away from its mum in a split second of attention being taken away from them, but I know I wouldn't have left them where they were while I went to the toilet let alone anywhere else, thats why I find it so hard to understand that they went out for the evening.

I do feel for them, I just question their actions thats all.

BWZN93

EagerLearner wrote: »

I don't think you can say 'regardless of the person who actually commited the crime' in this scenario?? It was an unfortunate event and the parents may have been reckless but there was no intent by the parents that she be kidnapped or killed. There was /is intent by the criminal who has her. They left the kids which was wrong, but only for a relatively short period of time (and being monitored by other parents), whereas in the past other parents in the media have for example left the kids completely on their own for weeks whilst going on holiday, negligence on a far more serious scale.

I think the media have spoon fed the public with what the public wants to hear, and now - as this post demonstrates - the media and some of the public will start to turn on them and pick them apart limb by limb until every morsel of news coverage has been picked off them / discussed / morally commented on / criticized.

I am sure when they get back to the UK there will be no end to more and more coverage, so much more discussion and commentary to come.

I think having this post is healthy discussion because otherwise the media would have complete control on what we think and at least I hope we are all trying to think for ourselves on here.

I think i may have been misunderstood - my regardless of the person that had/has Madeline was in order to highlight the parents actions. Of course, there is a criminal that needs to be found and strung up by the neck for the actions that have been committed, however, the parents actions gave this person an easy job in abducting her. The intent of the parents was to leave the children alone in a foreign country in order to socialise. If there was no intent to leave the children alone and this had been a pure accident (like when a child goes missing while supervised - a la Jamie Bulger for instance), then I would perhaps be more sympathetic to their current plight.

I also feel the media, by not making an issue out of the parents actions, are possibly doing us all a disservice. They appear to be condoning the parents actions, implied by thier relative silence. How many times will this happen if leaving your kids alone is not made an issue? Some (granted, not many) would be inclined to believe that it is ok to leave children unsupervised, when it clearly isnt.

Jo x

emmaroids

great posts jo :money:

EagerLearner

HugoSP wrote: »

Questions:

Do we want this girl to be found safe and well? - Yes
Do we want to raise the profile of child abduction? - Yes
Would anyone here not want to offer moral support to the parents? - No
Does anyone think it's useful to blame the parents for any oversight on the night she was abducted - will blaming the parents find her? - No
Can anyone stand in the way of the family raising funds to help find her? - No, it their right to do so.
Does everyone have to contribute to the fund? - No, we choose how much to give, if anything at all. They started the fund in response to offers of donations, so they could bank them until they decided their next move.
Can we comment on a situation that we personally have never experienced? - Not with a huge amount of authority.

My point is that the parents and the family in general are fighting tooth and nail to find their child or to find out what happened to her. They love their children just as much as anyone here loves theirs. Mistakes may have been made, I too was surprised that they hadn't taken up the creche service that night, assuming reports are true. Maybe they felt that the compound was suitably secure and that regular checks would suffice.

I cannot stand the condesending opinions of a number of people who's sole purpose in life seems to be to stand and criticise. These poeple have obvioulsy never made a single mistake in their lives, they live by a perfect code that is the golden chalice of reason.

I think the "perfect media story" arguement for forgetting about it is especially crass. OK, so just because it makes a good story, this family don't deserve our sympathy or the plublicity offered by Sky News etc.

What business is it of ours where the family stay and what happens to the various messages posted on the war memorial? I wasn't aware that I deserved a say in this. Nor was I aware that we had the god given right to stand and point fingers like lazy fishwives at a family whos only wish at the moment is to be together.

Some of you really should try putting your views to families who have lost loved ones to murder, abduction and other serious crime, or even where one member has suffered a serious assault, sexual or otherwise. I personally hope that such a challenge would make you feel good about yourselves - especially as you can pick apart someone elses grief and say "I told you so" into the bargain.

Some of you really disgust me.

I agree HugoSP :T This is more or less what I have been trying to convey, but I do understand that others have points of view.

EagerLearner

full-time-mum wrote: »

I think the point is that they are welcoming the tourists and hence the rest of the world into their community and everything that goes with it. They do need a wake up call. They can't have the tourists and still maintain their carefree communities as if the stangers weren't there.

Yes they can and so they should - just because a tourist couple have had this terrible event happen, why should the Portuguese people change their own way of lives or become less trusting? It will make them think more about the types of tragic crimes that seem to occur alot in other countries (of course Portugal has crimes, but rarely this sort of thing), and it will also make them think more about the amount of money other counties have to support one lost child, when they have orphanages full of kids that get no attention whatsoever.

emmaroids

HugoSP wrote: »

I cannot stand the condesending opinions of a number of people who's sole purpose in life seems to be to stand and criticise. These poeple have obvioulsy never made a single mistake in their lives, they live by a perfect code that is the golden chalice of reason.

yes i have made mistakes but none that would put any of my kids at risk, ergo i am a good parent.

HugoSP wrote: »

Some of you really disgust me.

its disgusting to leave your kids alone in a hotel room, and to not be critisised for it (apart from the few folks with a bit of backbone) is equily disgusting.

frenchconnection200

Well said Emmaroids and Jo, I feel very sorry for the parents but this was not a lapse of judgement on their part. Personally I think they are lucky they didn't lose all three kids to a fire, carbon monoxide, choking......etc

emmaroids

frenchconnection200 wrote: »

Well said Emmaroids and Jo, I feel very sorry for the parents but this was not a lapse of judgement on their part. Personally I think they are lucky they didn't lose all three kids to a fire, carbon monoxide, choking......etc

yup, they made a pre-meditated decision to leave there kids alone in a hotel room.
it angers me so much that they havent been pulled about this, it really does.

Lifeisbutadream

EagerLearner wrote: »

Portugal is not known for crimes against children

Of course not

:whistle:

Chas

I have a question for all those people who think that Madeleine's parents did NOT do anything wrong in leaving their children alone.

Many people (police included) are assuming that Madeleine has been abducted. What if Madeleine hasn't been abducted? What if she woke up, left the apartment to find her parents, wandered to the beach & was drowned? (or some other accident befell her)

What if there is no abductor and Madeleine has died as a result of being left alone? Would you still think Madeleine's parents didn't do anything wrong?