Has anyone asked for money instead of gifts?

Pinzy

I'm still umming and arring about this. We've put in the "we've got everything, you don't have to give anything but if you really want to we'd appreciate a honeymoon donation" type of thing, and on the website I've added "but please don't feel obligated to do so". Though I've since found some gorgeous "Wookiee the Chew" pictures, so if anyone seems uncomfortable about money I'm pointing them there.
I'm also thinking of saying that they could donate foreign money for our honeymoon destination - would that be better than cold hard sterling?

stormbreaker

This is an interesting thread. I have not been to a wedding in about 20yrs:eek: however I now have two evening weddings this year and two full day relatives weddings coming up next year.

My first invite was to a work colleagues and I asked about a wedding list, he said that wasn't their way. I pushed a bit more as I see no point in getting someone something they don't want. He eventually said well if you are stuck you can give us some dollars for our honeymoon.

Normally I don't like to give money as I think that it is an easy option with no thought. However on this occasion I was truly pleased as I would not have considered this. I have since picked up cheap luggage scales and intend to make up like a draw string bag of some essential travel things like adapters etc.(they will still be getting the dollars of course)

The second couple are going to America on honeymoon to so they are getting the same.

Sometimes a lot depends on how well you know he people which sounds a bit daft when it is your wedding but you will know your own family and friends better than his and they in turn will know you better.

My niece has just got engaged so I knew her circumstances. I struggled for a present and was going to get her an experience day outing and was just about to order a voucher for a helicopter tour when I remembered her oh needs to go on tablets before flying! So quick rethink and I got them luggage as they had recently borrowed our carry on case.

spam88

I'm quite surprised by some of the opinions here. I don't find it rude in the slightest to include a gift list or a poem asking for money - I'd never dream of turning up to a wedding without a gift, so I'd rather get the bride and groom something they actually want.

mountainofdebt

KMBayes wrote: »

Just make sure you don't invite anyone like duchy.

Or mountainofdebt

I don't have a problem with a gift list but I do find asking for money a bit cheeky.

Thankfully I'm not likely to get invited to many more weddings.....more likely to be funerals these days

jtr2803

Do you know what REALLY annoys me?

Couples who point you in the direction of their John Lewis/Debenhams gift list when they would never, ever dream of shopping in there but it's ok for you to pay £20 for their selected candle when if they were buying it they'd end up buying it from Ikea for £4!

claireyfairy83

jtr2803 wrote: »

Do you know what REALLY annoys me?

Couples who point you in the direction of their John Lewis/Debenhams gift list when they would never, ever dream of shopping in there but it's ok for you to pay £20 for their selected candle when if they were buying it they'd end up buying it from Ikea for £4!

I know what you mean - buy your own flipping Le Creuset mini casserole dishes and Wedgewood mugs!

Pinzy

Isn't that the point of a gift list though? To help couples get set up? Perhaps the posher goods are something that they could never afford, but they dream of having something of better quality, or just nicer. (Though I don't get the posh scented candle thing either!)

indecisive_bride

I've had some invites which have a little poem asking for money (always says presence is enough though) I think it's quite nice and have no problem with it. I guess in a way I'd rather give money then a gift they didn't need/want.
I'm trying to find a nice poem now for ours as we've lived together 2 years and have everything we want/need really. I don't think family will mind giving money as they know we've been living together a while x

lettice

Personally, I'm not a fan of the money poems (a bit cheesy) but I have no problem with something like this (which I've copied & pasted from the MSE article at family/cheaper-weddings - I'm a newbie who can't post links yet, sorry!):

As you all know we have lived together for many, many years now and so have all the possessions (kitchenware, bedding etc) that we can make good use of. Therefore, we are not intending to produce a gift list.

The one thing which we are working to save towards is a memorable honeymoon, so if you did wish to make a small contribution to that fund then we would be very appreciative.

Ultimately, just attending our wedding is an expense for everyone who is travelling from far and wide and so we really do only wish for you to join with us and share our special day.

I quite like to know where the money is going so if it had said 'to buy furniture for our new house', I wouldn't have minded that either.