Depression II

daisy_doughnut_2

i dont think your moping
and no problems are bigger there just different
xx

geminilady

Let_Robinson_Sing wrote: »

Yeah we are keeping in touch just come off the phone now, i was nearly in tears about my exams and just being lonely. My dad annoyed me last night as I am not drinking at the moment because of my exams and my dad was rubbing it in as he was drinking his beer.

Sorry for moping everyone, you've all got a lot bigger problems than mine. i'll be better soon.

Not suprised your dad annoyed you! he was proberly joking with you about the drinking but he should be supporting you through your exams.You are very sensible keeping of the drink and realise you need a clear head to do your best so be proud of yourself!

gillette147

Hi folkes,

Reading this thread creates alot of emotion in me. Sadness for your problems, awe in the strength of you all to deal with it. I can imagine that alot of your perspectives are that you are not coping or are failing. But look at it again. If you had climbed to within 100ft of the summit of Everest then you may not have reached the top (yet). But just look down for a moment. See how far you have climbed. I'm am dumb-struck at your love and bravery daily.

As for me.....
I'm falling into a pit of doing nothing. Wanting to opt out of life. Not suicide, just hiding. I need to do something about it but it is very hard.

This new line of work I'm trying to pursue is looking like such a drop in salary that I don't think/know I can pay the bills. The answer may be to relocate to a cheaper part of the country (coz salary seems uniform all over UK) but that is such a large life change. I'm just so daunted I feel paralysed.

I just had a call about a job. But it's 15k less than I earnt last year. And I didn't have much of my old salary left either. And it's going to be travelling (so large petrol costs). Do I hold out for a closer job or do I just get back into work? It's tough.

Car just failed MOT. At least £200 to find. Grrrr.

Now for the huge slapping....
I'm coming off the ADs. I haven't felt a change in me throughout conselling or two types of ADs. I suspect that in this regard I am unhelpable. My depression isn't that bad. I have coped with it for years and years. I feel my best hope if to change my life and outlook by force of will. I am lethargic. It may be because I am at heart lazy and I've been out of work for 7 months. But I have low sex drive, sleeping way too much. I am hoping that it is the tablets. So for the last two days I have taken a half dose. I have reasons why I don't want to talk to the dr (yet). Please don't hit me Tiff xxx

Mom's on phone so I'll sign off.
Huge wishes and hugs from me.
xxxxx

andipandi_2

hi guys,

mr angry, mr sad, mr knackered,mr fed up,mr worried, Been all these last couple of days but at least i've not been mr depressed i suppose,

today i am doing f**k all work cos i'm creamed and its my OH birthday,bought her new lara croft ps2 game and a delightful puppy mug.

take it easy out there

Andy

johnswife

My daughter (17) broke down today and I am taking her to the Doctors on Monday. She is hoping he will start her on some medication to help with her anxiety.
Problems go back a couple of years and last year she did see a councillor but stopped going cos visious circle she can't talk but they want her to talk!!
She has just come to end of first year at college but I took her in today to finish some overdue coursework but got to the gate and she couldn't go in, by hrself. She broke down and evry day she has been going in has been torture and she is at the end of her tether, she just wants to stop feeling this way.

I know there is no magic cure but I think she feels sometimes that there is no hope and I feel so helpless.

What sort of medication would she go on and does it help?

geminilady

Tiff wrote: »

Hi gem!:hello:




Hi Tiff,I keep reading your post to make sure it sinks in because as always you talk a lot of sense,it may not be what i want to hear but i know its what i need to lol.

If someone can't take any kind of criticism in a normal converstaion hun without hurting you back, then you should back right away imho
.I know most people would back away but funny enough i understand why he does it.It is his defence mechanism,not a nice thing to be on the other end of but i can handle it.Maybe because i have lived with critism all my life but my reaction is to agree with them maybe because over the years it has chipped away at my self esteem until it is almost non existant.A friend of mine once asked me to list all the postives and negatives about myself and i could find very few positives lol but the negatives go on and on.

Do you ever see this working out for you angel? I would only ever wish you good things. You have to do what you have to do and I'm certainly not going to judge you hun.;)
No, i don't ever see it working out for me but if i can distance myself and stop wanting i think the friendship will be good for both of us.


Just a Tiffy thought hun,:rolleyes: , but is it likely that what you're in love with, is the love and dedication and passion that he has shown he is capable of, to someone else? Because the key words hun here, imho, are - to someone else.
Yes you are right it was to someone else and i want it for myself

After 4 years with no commitment gem, it's doubtful he's going to feel like this for you hunnie. But, he's keeping you on a string gem - just in case he needs reassurance that he is in control. Imagine the strength/power he feels he must have over you - either voluntary or involuntary - to have kept your kind heart in the shadows for 4 years?:o Are you regularly in touch hun?

I agree it is very doubtful that he will feel like that for me but don't think it is anything to do with control.Of course he is flattered that someone wants him,even though he can't return the feelings and that gives him a kind of power but i do think he wants a friend that he can rely on,that he can trust,even though he says he trusts nobody,i think he does trust me a little and has started to open up lately.we are regularly in touch and it is about equal who texts first,i have not text for a few days to try and distance myself but he always texts.I do think if i asked him to stop he would but it brightens my otherwise empty life,it fills a need that things like work,workmates,my boys,nothing else fills.


This is not to dismiss the fact that he was heartbroken over his relationship ending hun, and the complex problems you say he has.
When you're ready, maybe you should be asking yourself why did that great relationship end?

I have asked myself that question but as i have only heard his side of things i will never know,maybe he would not commit to her although he told me he would, or maybe he could not cope with her mentel health problems as well as his own,hers were quite severe,before thay met she actualy jumped off a bridge,obviousely she survived but was left with a limp and facial scar.Also after they split up the first time her 16yr old daughter killed herself (nothing to do with N as far as i know) but it stands to reason a woman who had been through such trauma would not be in the right state of mind to make a successs of a relationship.I think N was wrong to try and resume it but he really did think it would work a second time.


There was another Tiffy thought, :rolleyes: :rolleyes: , that maybe you should exercise a bit of caution angel and be careful what you wish for.;) That level of persistance could also be seen as controlling or almost possessive. Having said that sweetheart, you're a grown woman and you know him.;)

yes it could be seen as that but all i saw was love and tenderness.I know it looks like i have put "N" on a pedestle but i don't think he is perfect he has his faults just like the rest of us.He can be sefish and insensative to my feelings but the bottom line is i can stop contact so it is in my hands.

It'll work it's own way out sweetie - just don't forget to keep your eyes open around you and to keep checking that shopping list!;)

Thanks Tiff, i will keep my eyes open and never go out without my shopping list.Take care gem xx

Let_Robinson_Sing

Thanks for your support guys through this frustrating time.

2 more exams down now, was quite an easy exam. 8 exams left and 8 days left until i see my fiance. 1 exam tomorrow then nothing until Monday. I want to just get them out of the way.

Tiff_2

Hi guys!:hello:
There is so much I want to say to a few of you and I will come back at some point tomorrow and give those posts the respectful replies they deserve.:A


johnswife - I am sorry to hear about your daughter hun. You are most welcome here. We cannot discuss medications or how long things will take as each person is an individual case with many different factors involved. I can tell you angel that your gp will be a gateway to many resources for your daughter. I can also tell you both that many others have been where you are now - at the beginning and frightened - and have moved on and had a better life.

There is help but I will caution you angel, that it's not going to happen in a day, week or even a month probably.
Try and remember that it took time for this problem to occur and so it's going to take time to untie the knots as it were. A day at a time hun, step by step.
I'll try and post more helpful info tomorrow hun.

ethel - bless you angel - keeping you in my thoughts. You are so entitled to DLA imho! May have some other ideas for you angel. I'll try and get back to you later or tomorrow hun. You're not alone sweetheart. Get some rest hunnie.

gem - you give me more praise than I deserve hun.
You wrote a wonderful explanation of the whole situation gem. I think you're doing really well angel - you deserve only good things as do you all on here. I'll catch up as soon as I can sweetheart. Thinking of you.

daisy - again I'll come back to you hun as soon as I can I've been down into the Tiff archives and may have some useful points I hope.

gilly - I'll be back for you later! Seriously hun, although we all so want it to be, it isn't realistic to think that one course of counselling with someone you couldn't bond with, and trying out two ad's, are enough reason to stop trying. There is so much more help for you gilly hun.

andi - you're another resilient bunny on here as are the above people. I'm sorry everything's so down with you hun - but you're not out for the count yet! Get some rest andi - catch you later.

To everyone here, - I send huge Tiffy hugs. I'm thinking of you all. Please don't give up on yourselves or each other. Keep fighting back!

Sazzy - Hope you're okay angel. Thinking of you.

I have to go. Sorry guys.
Much Love Always,
Tiff xxx

Karrie

razorbladekisses wrote: »

:hello: Karrie, :eek: tsk tsk you should have told the Doctor about the chest pains and that you've stopped taking your medication. Make sure you do when you next see him/her. OK lecture over with lol I just care hun, I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you.

Have you spoken to your OH about your concerns re: relationship? What is it that is making you feel unsure about being together?

(((HUGS)))

I guess this chest thing frightens me. I am feeling fine although a bit tearful at the moment.

Thank you asking and caring though RBK. You're a sweetie.

No I haven't spoken to my other half. He makes me think that I am making a mountain out of a mole hill.

Hope you are well

slowlyfading

I give up. I honestly can't do this any longer. why does it hurt so much?