Depression II

Sugar_Coated_Owl

daisy doughnut 2, I'm so glad that to hear that your daughter is going to get the help/support that she needs. The Doctor sounds like he was very helpful.

How does your daughter feel about it all?

It's good that you mentioned yourself as well. It's understandable that you are feeling really low atm. Please try not to be so hard on yourself.

(((HUGS)))

Ethel, Oh hun (((HUGS))) Have you got those made to measure stockings yet? Did the Doctor give you strong painkillers?

Tiff_2

Hi ethel!:hello:
How are you this morning hun?

quote=EthelBloggs;evening eveyone..
dunno whats up with me tonight.. i just feel on the brink of tears all the time and thinking if this is how my life is gonna be then I can't see the point anymore.
When you need some help hun, you should know from the past that we're always here for you.:A You're such a part of this thread ethel and give advice and smiles and hugs so willingly.
You post about your problems without demanding any reply and you're unselfish - so no more about bringing anyone down ok? We're already down hun - that's why we're here!;)

I'm so glad you posted how you're feeling angel.:T If you were to be miserable from now until Christmas, (heaven forbid!) it would be ok hun!;)

You're still reeling from all this year has dealt you ethel hun. What you're feeling is natural - there's nothing wrong with having a cry ethel, you're fully paid up and entitled. You've had so much to deal with and now you've got this awful illness angel - no wonder you're so low! Anyone would be struggling sweetheart, with the pain you have.

Imho, this is partially the shock of your illness hitting home angel. When we're in a lot of physical pain, everything becomes darker hun, especially when we know that it's not something that's going to go away.

And from experience, I know what it's like to be in this situation..... - as if you haven't had enough to deal with - how much pain you're in - it's so unfair - what kind of life are you going to have? - how much worse is it going to get? - when am I going to be unable to walk? - what will happen then? - everyone depends on me and I've got no-one I can lean on?
And then there are the times when you just cry for no other reason than for being where you're at with everything and out of frustration.:o

My ability to walk has seriously gone downhill in the last few weeks.. I wasn't expecting it to happen so quickly and I just feel so useless, !!!!!! I'm 36 and I walk like a 90 year old, it's so painful and ugly to look at too
anywy, off to bed before i bring you all down, g'night xxxx/quote
How quickly your illness develops, and in what way, takes some getting used to. It's one thing to get a diagnosis and explanations and get caught up in all the precautions/treatment, but quite another to accept what's happening, what you can't change and how it will affect your life. It's a big shock to the system.
Your fighting spirit will come and go hun. But it will return.;) Time is so new for you and this is a bit like the emotional fallout catching up.
Have you been told how your illness will affect you angel?


I had a pain in my right knee. Let it go for about 6 weeks then mentioned it to my gp - blood tests - worse pain - really limping - rheumatologist specialist - walking stick - now same pains in ankles knees hips arms and hands, back and neck - told I'd got arthritis at 41 - bone erosion so I would need replacement joints at some point but you'll have to wait until you're over 60 because we can only do this surgery once, twice at the most - got pain along my arms and legs - congratulations you also have inflammatory artritis!:j :rolleyes: - oh and we can't give you anti-inflammatories to stop the pain etc because they contain milk and you became allergic to dairy products a couple of years ago so take a couple of paracetamol - hands and arms now going numb and mobility worse - here you go - 2 nice shiny crutches to use and some rails in the house! See you soon.:rolleyes:
I went from a pain in the knee to needing a crutch to walk in under 12 weeks. The pain is like toothache in my body and if my hands go numb, it takes a while to go.
When I was told I had all this, I broke down crying too. I felt all of the above. Why couldn't I have the surgery now? I'd rather walk at 42 than 62! It felt like I was just waiting to die, pointless.


After all the fighting I'd already done, it felt like it was a sick joke. Any hopes for a 'normal' future went flying out of the window - who'd want me now? I won't be able to do things I would have loved to have gone back to like dancing, gardening etc. And I was waiting for the inevitable wheelchair.:o I felt so alone, depressed and angry.


I can hear you waiting for the punchline as it were - you know, the one where I tell you about how I have gone from strength to strength, how you have to keep fighting and that it'll be all right in the end.


Don't hold your breath sweetheart. I wouldn't be so condescending and it wouldn't be true yet.

I can tell you that the inevitable wheelchair is on hold for now, when I thought it would be a matter of weeks before I was in one as I'd declined so rapidly at the beginning.
I can tell you that I'm a lousy fortune teller and that everything I was sure of happening immediately, is taking it's own sweet time - that's good hun.;)
I can tell you that there will be good and bad days.
I can tell you that sometimes illneses flare, especially at the beginning, but that it does settle as well.
I can tell you that at some point, you will adapt to your illness.
I can tell you that, although you may find it hard to believe sweetie, you'll reach a plateau where the agony becomes pain, and you will learn how best to manage it.
I can tell you that I had to swallow my pride and try and accept it.
I can tell you ethel, that there are some truly kind people out there who will see your smile and your heart and your mind rather than just your illness.
I can tell you that you are worth fighting for and that you will always be ethel!:T :A

I wish I could make it go away hun. If you need any help regarding benefits, or someone to rant to , give me a shout. Of course, you can post on the benefits board too.
I hope you believe me when I tell you that you are not ugly and it's not all over for you!

Take time to adjust and manage things and get some rest angel, but above all ethel, be kind to yourself and take it a day at a time sweetheart. We're all here if you need us - feel free at shout at stenny anytime hun.:D ( teach him to make you post cat pictures like those!:rolleyes: :rotfl: )
You're a survivor ethel - that's what you do and you're good at it.
Thinking of you always angel.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Let_Robinson_Sing

Morning all.

Hope you are all ok this morning. I am very :mad: this morning. I have 2 exams today in the afternoon but i feel really unsettled and stressed out. I keep scratching my head and just general stressing. I am not eating well at the moment and the though and sight of food is making me wretch, i dont know what it is thats making me do that . I know its now only 8 days until i see my girlfriend but it just seems so long off. Its really annoying and i just want to break down and cry. _pale_

Tulip

Let_Robinson_Sing wrote: »

Morning all.

Hope you are all ok this morning. I am very :mad: this morning. I have 2 exams today in the afternoon but i feel really unsettled and stressed out. I keep scratching my head and just general stressing. I am not eating well at the moment and the though and sight of food is making me wretch, i dont know what it is thats making me do that . I know its now only 8 days until i see my girlfriend but it just seems so long off. Its really annoying and i just want to break down and cry. _pale_

*hugs* If you feel like crying do so,It does you the world of good,I did yesterday after my physologist came to see me, on my bed and I felt better,I rang my parents who were out as I need a chat but as I couldnt get them I cried harder,they came to see me in the afternoon which was nice so I chatted to them then.Good Luck for this afternoon for the exams

*hugs* also to DD2 glad you got help for your daughter and the support that she needs Its great the doctor said if you feel cant cope to come back to them

Ethel:You are bound to feel low as all the emotional things you have had to deal with,this place is good to put down how you feel,It certainly helps me alot

RBK: Hi,Hope you are well and happy

SF:Hi, hope you are well too

Tiff: Hi,hope you are alright

Gillette:hope you are keeping well

well I must go now everyone as I have work to do at my local church and they will be expecting me

take care and I will chat later

lots of love and light,

Katie xxx

geminilady

EthelBloggs wrote: »

evening eveyone..

dunno whats up with me tonight.. i just feel on the brink of tears all the time and thinking if this is how my life is gonna be then I can't see the point anymore. My ability to walk has seriously gone downhill in the last few weeks.. I wasn't expecting it to happen so quickly and I just feel so useless, !!!!!! I'm 36 and I walk like a 90 year old, it's so painful and ugly to look at too

anywy, off to bed before i bring you all down, g'night xxxx

((((HUG)))) Ethel,Tiff has said it all,listen to her you know she talks sense.Just want to say people do care and you are a much valued member of the board.As to bringing people down as Tiff said that is why we are here we are already down.I don't know about anyone else but reading about other peoples problems helps me from being self centered and reminds me there are people with worse problems.Hope you feel a little better today,thinking of you gem x

geminilady

Let_Robinson_Sing wrote: »

Morning all.

Hope you are all ok this morning. I am very :mad: this morning. I have 2 exams today in the afternoon but i feel really unsettled and stressed out. I keep scratching my head and just general stressing. I am not eating well at the moment and the though and sight of food is making me wretch, i dont know what it is thats making me do that . I know its now only 8 days until i see my girlfriend but it just seems so long off. Its really annoying and i just want to break down and cry. _pale_

Hi LRS,Good luck with your exams,no wonder you are fealing stressed it is perfectly normal and proberly why you don't feel like eating.How about making or buying a few smoothies?at least you will be getting some nutrition.8 days till you see your gf seems like a long time now but it WILL pass hope you are keeping in touch by phone and online that should help a little.

EthelBloggs

Thanks all of you :grouphug:

I do feel a bit better today, in my head anyway.. I think the body is too decrepit to care, lol. Last night was awful, cos I could feel the protein leaking into my joints and it was nasty :vomit: Most of the time I feel as tho I;m trying to walk over rocks, all bumpy and uneven and trying to make me trip up, if that makes sense? It sort of looks like that too, so sometimes it's hard to see where I'm going and work out where to put my feet :eek: Worst part of it is that I'm so used to walking everywhere, fekk knows what I'll do now, I can't afford cabs all the time but I can't walk far either :eek:
It takes me half an hour to get down the stairs to the kitchen to get a cuppa or anything and then I can't bloody carry it cos I'm too wobbly. When my son and b/f are home they're great, fetching and carrying for me and helping me with cooking and stuff but I feel like I'm taking advantage somehow
And it IS ugly, the swelling gets so bad that my fingerprints sort of disappear and I can't bend my joints cos the skin is stretched too tight. It all turns blue and purple too which is really attractive

There's no medication that can help.. apparently surgery is an option but it's not guaranteed to be successful and it's very invasive so I think I'll give that a miss. The bandage thingy isn't ready yet, the clinic called me up on monday to let me know that it will probably be next week sometime and that they are going to ask for the district nurse to visit me regularly too, not too sure what that's about soo.. we'll see

I've applied for DLA for myself.. gawd doesn't seem that long ago I applied for my daughter

Oh well.. keep plodding on I guess.. thanks again you all

daisy_doughnut_2

good morning all

ethel not read many of your post so dont really know what your situ is but im guessing your not feeling yourself inside an thats i suppose what we all have in common (((hugs))) hope you can lift your emotions soon

LRS
i used to retch at food its really not nice i havent read any of your other posts so yet again i dont know what your situ is
when i got like that tho i found food that 1, you didnt have to cook 2, food that didnt have a strong smell 3, some thing that i knew didnt tatse strong an would go down easy
that what helped me
i tended to live of butties, potatoe waffles and fruit when i had my bad times
good luck an hope your GF is ok

dunno what im going to do today but i know i cant stay in and fester
the cooker needs cleaning but i can cope with a few more bean splashes
the weather doesnt look to great either
take care all

DD x

EthelBloggs

blinky wrote: »

Big hugs for you Ethel
Anyway I thought you were 21.... :dance: :whistle:

aww thanks blinky.. You just made my day!!!

Let_Robinson_Sing

geminilady wrote: »

Hi LRS,Good luck with your exams,no wonder you are fealing stressed it is perfectly normal and proberly why you don't feel like eating.How about making or buying a few smoothies?at least you will be getting some nutrition.8 days till you see your gf seems like a long time now but it WILL pass hope you are keeping in touch by phone and online that should help a little.

Yeah we are keeping in touch just come off the phone now, i was nearly in tears about my exams and just being lonely. My dad annoyed me last night as I am not drinking at the moment because of my exams and my dad was rubbing it in as he was drinking his beer.

Sorry for moping everyone, you've all got a lot bigger problems than mine. i'll be better soon.