Swearing

marisco_2

I dont know if it is just me but I hate hearing people swearing, especially so when there are children around. I had the joy of the weekly shop in Asda this morning and could not believe the language a mum was using with her very young child. He could not have been more than about 5, was playing her up something rotten and her responses to this had people literally stopping in the aisles with their mouths open.

Now to me if a child is bored in a supermarket and behaving badly then you engage them, distract them, talk quietly to them and try to reason with them. Fair enough we all know that often this does not work fast and takes masses of patience. Isn't that what good parenting is about though? Going out your way to work with a child and set a good example to them.

I have always worked on the premis that I instill in my children the behaviours I wish to see in them. To lower yourself to a level where you are shouting, swearing and basically appear out of control seems so wrong. The little boy was left looking bewildered and frightened and I felt worried about him.

My seven year old looked quite shocked when I told him not to copy the actions of an adult rather than a child. Not something he is use to me saying to him. My parents never swore in front of me as a child and still dont now. If I had ever done that to them I would not be here today either.

What are your views?

iwb100

Swearing in general, I don't like if it's gratuitous or aggresive in nature. The odd "oh s......." or "b........d" is expected in certain situations. Usually a bloke is trying to do DIY........and failing.

Swearing at your child is unacceptable.

Shouting at a child misbehaving in a supermarket (without swearing) and being firm is certainly not wrong, in my opinion. Putting the fear of God into a playing up child can be quite effective.

LandyAndy

It's a F''king disgrace.

browneyedbazzi

I agree that the behaviour you describe is inappropriate and it bothers me too when I see adults behaving that way towards children.

Swearing itself doesn't particularly bother me in situation where emotions are running high or when the words are used in a way to express an extreme (that's what they're for!). I'm more bothered by people who pepper their everyday speech with swear words... people who f'in this and f'in that constantly when the words are just completely extra and unnecessary.

Lagoon

I have mixed opinions. On one hand, it's only language. On the other hand, it's important to have respect for other people.

I don't enjoy hearing people swearing, and I'll never swear AT someone. I very occasionally swear - something has to really upset, hurt or anger me to get that response.

My OH swears quite a lot. He used to do it even more often, but knew I didn't like it and toned it down. He started a new job late last year, and as swearing is so natural in the office he's started to swear a lot more at home again. I've commented, and he's making an effort to tone it down yet again.

However, when I have children I don't want them feeling that the words are out of bounds. They WILL hear them, and they're becoming more common even on TV. OH and I have discussed this and are in agreement that we'll teach a 'know your audience' approach when they're old enough to understand: You can swear in the house, but never AT someone. You can swear with your friends if they're doing the same, but don't be the one to start it. However, you shouldn't swear in public and around people you don't know, or aren't good friends with, because they might not agree with that language.

Unfortunately, that language is everywhere now, and people seem to have no respect for who's around. I was on a train last week and men of around 18-25 years old walked on and were shouting and swearing along the carriage, despite the fact that they were stood next to two young children. Nobody said anything, and maybe someone should have. I always make a point of giving people a disapproving look when they swear at or around children, whether they're a stranger to the child or a member of their family. I know that probably means nothing - if they're happy to swear in front of a child, then no look from me is going to change that, but I hope it makes them think for just a second.

Then, finally, I have the other side of this. My parents were aggressive, abusive individuals. I wasn't allowed to say anything remotely like a swear word, but they would shout and scream at me and use the worst words imaginable when I was young. I imagine that's why swearing still offends me so much now. I remember, however, being eight years old and in a supermarket. A group of teenagers, around 13 or 14 years old, were swearing in conversation in the next aisle. I was fine with it - I heard much worse at home, they weren't directing it at anyone and even at that age I understood that it's 'just language' and they weren't being aggressive. Yet, my mum grabbed my hand, stormed to the next aisle and confronted the boys "How DARE you speak like that? There are children around. Grow up and think about what you're doing!". I remember their expressions - a little shock, but they found it funny. I remember feeling that my mum was being incredibly hypocritical, and I remember feeling very embarrassed!

Orlando_Virgin

I swear far too much.

I think it's down to the fact that I have always played in mens ice hockey teams and football teams, plus I work in a manufacturing environment which means I'm constantly surrounded by it, so it rubs off.

That being said, when I'm in a relationship I try my utmost not to swear at all, especially when in a new one. Around my family and little nephew I NEVER swear, one I would never want him to hear me swear and two, I have always been raised in an environment where my parents NEVER swore around me so feel they deserve that respect back, for f*cks sake.

beckysbobbles1

I swear but I actually hate it. I find it so unlady like. I can often control my language around certain people (ie colleagues) but when I am casual, I do find I swear. Not all the time though.

I think swearing at or in front of children is unacceptable. They should not be subjected to that sort of language.

Orlando_Virgin

beckysbobbles1 wrote: »

I swear but I actually hate it. I find it so unlady like. I can often control my language around certain people (ie colleagues) but when I am casual, I do find I swear. Not all the time though.

I think swearing at or in front of children is unacceptable. They should not be subjected to that sort of language.

It is unlady like but when a woman swears it doesn't put me off at all. If it got a bit silly then I would probably be a bit taken aback, but I wouldn't want a snob.

Tenyearstogo

Swear words are just words.

The problem used with any words are when they are said with negative emotions and intent.

My son swore at a saucepan last week in front of me but he'd never swear at me. So does it bother me? No.

marisco_2

iwb100 wrote: »

Shouting at a child misbehaving in a supermarket (without swearing) and being firm is certainly not wrong, in my opinion. Putting the fear of God into a playing up child can be quite effective.

I agree with you here. Sometimes raising your voice to pull a child into line is a quick and effective way of sorting a problem out. Especially so if they are putting themselves at any risk. It can be done in a tone that makes the child take you seriously without scaring them.

balletshoes

I dont like hearing swearing around young children and i do think parents have lost control if they swear at their children.
my dad swore like breathing ~ in his work environment that was completely normal and even kind of expected. my brother works in the same environment now and is the same at work. in those environments it doesnt offend me. neither of them swore at children or intentionally around them, although when we were kids and at work with my dad in the school holidays he did slip into his normal swearing like breathing ~ but again not in an agressive way, in an almost jokey way most of the time.

what i really dislike is people writing swearing in texts facebook messages etc, i cant understand why theres any need to purposely take the time to type swearwords out in writing.