I can't stop spending! Getting disheartened

Bobarella

Hello

It is really hard to start, especially when you dont have much anyway. My current stats probably dont seem like a good ad for my successes, but I have saved up for quite a few big things in my life. And in all honesty, I think it comes down to being a bit stubborn and tunnel visioned. Something no one else has yet mentioned (I think) is the snowball affect. For every £1 you save dont forget, that it attaches interest to it. At the moment interest rates are really low but it doesnt mean they always will be. Also, you just dont know when your circumstances might change, if you set yourself a £10 goal to save each month, you might be able to change it to £15, £20 etc down the line.

I think sometimes when we are in the thick of it, it is so hard to imagine things will ever change. So we tend to think negatively based on experience. But we never really know what will come along.

Sorry to ramble. Hope that is helpful??

Bob

thehappybutterfly

If it's your dream home you're after why not create a motivational board or folder? Pick up some schedules from the estate agent - choose your favourites, the ones you aspire to live in - then cut out pictures from old magazines, free catalogues etc of what you want your house to look like - furniture, decor, ornaments, pictures etc.

You can get your daughter on board with this. Let her choose her dream room - whether that's a girly bedroom or a space-age playroom - and aim to put maybe all your £2 coins in a 'new home' bankie. It could build up really quickly and it soon becomes addictive!

I certainly need visual stimulation to keep my goals in mind.

krustylouise

bbh30 wrote: »

Set yourself a weekly budget for little spends. You could always look for second hand or even freecycle stuff for your daughter. We have a trampoline but I was very lucky we were given one for free for my kids.
I am amazed at how much I have been able to spend when Ive put my mind to it. Aim to have as many NSDs as you can and then transfer a couple of quid a day into your savings account as well as one big payment- it all adds up. The one thing I have learnt is that the pennies really do add up to the pounds. I don't take my purse to work or anything with me, and I dont go near the shops. Remember, shopping is not a hobby!!!

Hi thank you for your reply,

I take my lunch to work, I don't ever take money or cards to work with me. I also do everything like batch cook, shop at aldi etc. I guess I'm feeling bad that I spent our savings

thehappybutterfly

Oh, and definitely allow yourself some treat money every month. You work hard and deserve it. It doesn't have to be much - and you don't even have to spend it all. My hubby and I allow ourselves some pocket money every month - to spend on what we want, save it to buy each other a birthday/anniversary gift, that kind of thing. I've not spent mine in 2 months but the fact that it's there, relaxes me so if I feel like some retail therapy, I have a few pounds to spend.

krustylouise

Bobarella wrote: »

Hello

It is really hard to start, especially when you dont have much anyway. My current stats probably dont seem like a good ad for my successes, but I have saved up for quite a few big things in my life. And in all honesty, I think it comes down to being a bit stubborn and tunnel visioned. Something no one else has yet mentioned (I think) is the snowball affect. For every £1 you save dont forget, that it attaches interest to it. At the moment interest rates are really low but it doesnt mean they always will be. Also, you just dont know when your circumstances might change, if you set yourself a £10 goal to save each month, you might be able to change it to £15, £20 etc down the line.

I think sometimes when we are in the thick of it, it is so hard to imagine things will ever change. So we tend to think negatively based on experience. But we never really know what will come along.

Sorry to ramble. Hope that is helpful??

Bob

Thank you so much for your kind inspirational words, I agree you never know what's coming (I just hope it's not a similar thing to northern rock or what's currently happening in Cyprus?!)

Thank you again - I really do appreciate it

kerri_gt

Have you thought about joining some of the challenges on here? I've been doing the NSD (No Spend Day) challenge for a few years and it really helps to make me think about what I'm spending and also to be more organised when I am spending (not saying I don't have the occasional blip though lol!)

Here's a link to the April challenge, there's some good advise about guidelines and rules but you basically set your own rules as to what is / isn't a NSD (like some count direct debits, some don't etc) - everyone is really supportive and the only rule we do have is that we never fail - we just sometimes don't quite reach our targets .

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4522813

I'd also suggest keeping a spending diary, this motivated me to join the NSD gang as my downfall was those £1/£2 spends that soon add up.

Regarding the trampoline - does your DD REALLY need it? I know you;ve missed her this week but surely she'd value spending time with you doing an activity - doesn't have to be expensive, what about a craft, or some baking? Could you return it before she gets back? Don't feel guilty, it's not the gifts kids remember, its the quality time.

Also, how about getting a picture of something you really want to save up for - perhaps your dream house. Print it out and keep a copy in your purse, stick one to your debit card, have it as a screensaver on your laptop - anywhere where you spend unnecessarily. That way, when you're tempted to make those spends you will be reminded that the money could potentially be put towards your goal instead. It's a great motivator.

krustylouise

thehappybutterfly wrote: »

Oh, and definitely allow yourself some treat money every month. You work hard and deserve it. It doesn't have to be much - and you don't even have to spend it all. My hubby and I allow ourselves some pocket money every month - to spend on what we want, save it to buy each other a birthday/anniversary gift, that kind of thing. I've not spent mine in 2 months but the fact that it's there, relaxes me so if I feel like some retail therapy, I have a few pounds to spend.

Hi,

Thank you for your post. What I struggle with is knowing what figure of money I could class as spending money.

thehappybutterfly

What do you like to treat yourself to? Not your daughter - you! Make up? Clothes? Books? Shoes? Pretty stationery? (I'm all of the above!)

krustylouise

kerri_gt wrote: »

Have you thought about joining some of the challenges on here? I've been doing the NSD (No Spend Day) challenge for a few years and it really helps to make me think about what I'm spending and also to be more organised when I am spending (not saying I don't have the occasional blip though lol!)

Here's a link to the April challenge, there's some good advise about guidelines and rules but you basically set your own rules as to what is / isn't a NSD (like some count direct debits, some don't etc) - everyone is really supportive and the only rule we do have is that we never fail - we just sometimes don't quite reach our targets .

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4522813

I'd also suggest keeping a spending diary, this motivated me to join the NSD gang as my downfall was those £1/£2 spends that soon add up.

Regarding the trampoline - does your DD REALLY need it? I know you;ve missed her this week but surely she'd value spending time with you doing an activity - doesn't have to be expensive, what about a craft, or some baking? Could you return it before she gets back? Don't feel guilty, it's not the gifts kids remember, its the quality time.

Also, how about getting a picture of something you really want to save up for - perhaps your dream house. Print it out and keep a copy in your purse, stick one to your debit card, have it as a screensaver on your laptop - anywhere where you spend unnecessarily. That way, when you're tempted to make those spends you will be reminded that the money could potentially be put towards your goal instead. It's a great motivator.

Hi,

Thank you for your post. I'm part of April fools no more challenge this month, I'm in budget for grocery, petrol and entertainment but have spent money for things I haven't budgeted (namely the trampoline and my massage).

No, I'm not going to send the trampoline back, she's wanted one for about 3years. We do alot of crafty things, we bake, we visit farms, park, have play dates, soft play etc. DD doesn't demand or expect alot of things and I think this will be an amazing surprise for her.

I have a screen saver of blue lagoon in turkey at work as I'm determined to take DD away next year

krustylouise

thehappybutterfly wrote: »

What do you like to treat yourself to? Not your daughter - you! Make up? Clothes? Books? Shoes? Pretty stationery? (I'm all of the above!)

Hmmm good question. Perhaps beauty treatments or clothes (but saying that my massage today was the only beauty treatment I've had in the last 7years!) and clothes, the last thing I bought was a blouse and a pair of trousers for work, in the sale in Dorothy Perkins! And before that I really can't remember.

Funny you should mention pretty stationery, I'm like a kid at Christmas when the stationery arrive at work lol