I can't stop spending! Getting disheartened

krustylouise

Hi all,

I know this is a pointless post and it is obvious what I need to do, but I felt very much like saving money was taking so long, I got disheartened, I work full time am a single parent and feel like any tiny amount of money I manage to scrape together I end up spending. I don't buy luxury food or have lavish "things".

DD is at her Dads this week (as he's got her for the last week of Easter hols as I had her last week) this is the longest time I've been without her and ended up spending £105 on a trampoline for a surprise for when she returns on Friday!

I went for a massage today (I've a bad shoulder and a chiropractor quoted me £28 for 10mins treatment!) so decided £55 for a full hour massage would be best option. I know this is luxury but I've not had 1 in a very very long time, I feel shattered and wante a treat for myself.

My dream would be to buy my own home, but if I can't even save over £100 how the hell am I going to save a deposit for a house (bearing in mind I'm single)

If anyone has any success storie or motivational things to say please do as I really would love a "pick me up" right now. Please don't post anything nasty.

Thanks for reading x

paulineb_2

Spare money, if you have £25 to spare every month get it locked into a tax free savings plan. Its amazing what you can fritter away. But theres always a sum of money hopefully that you have left over, even if you feel there isnt.

I put £25 away with scottish friendly in a ten year savings plan and at the end with bonuses, I got around £5000 or so. Bonuses are lower now and some people might be able to tell you where better to put your cash.

I also have an ISA, Ive been paying £30 in for almost 5 years, its worth around £2000. There are always ways of saving without it being a massive headache, even putting £25 away a month is something.

Im not bad with cash because I dont have much, and Im sure there are much better savers than me, but have a look into ISAs and tax free savings plans and get something sorted.

If ten years feels too long you can get plans where your money is tied up for 5 years or so.

aliasojo

There's no easy answer I'm afraid. It's really hard to start to 'collect' money rather than things when things give you instant gratification.

I found that if you could save some in the first instance, it's easier thereafter to add to it. When you have a reasonable sum saved, it becomes harder to be as carefree with it and you'll likely find you think twice before spending from your savings pot.

It's just bite the bullet time, you need to force yourself to do without. Trust me, it gets easier. Most of the time anyway. :undecided

Good luck.

krustylouise

Thank you both for being kind. I look at the short term, I'm very impatient. I always think if I save £100 for 1 year that is only £1200 that doesn't get me a car or a house. I know it's a decent amount but it seems sooooo far in relation to a house or even a car.

paulineb_2

Well, look at the medium term then, 3-5 years.

I dont have my own home or a car btw. If its something you really want, you'll do it. No maybe its not realistic that you could get a house deposit in a year, but maybe 5 years

And Id be happier sitting thinking, ok in 5 years time I'll have 5 grand in the bank that I can put towards a house, than sit and have nothing.

You can still have a life that allows you to have the odd treat and save as well, its possible.

TDMum

krustylouise wrote: »

Thank you both for being kind. I look at the short term, I'm very impatient. I always think if I save £100 for 1 year that is only £1200 that doesn't get me a car or a house. I know it's a decent amount but it seems sooooo far in relation to a house or even a car.

Can you comfortably afford £100 a month without feeling like you're doing without?

If you feel like you get no fun/luxuries why not start lower at say £50 a month and use the other £50 for treats etc. Then once you see the £50's start to build up it may spurr you on to up your savings amount gradually to the £100. After that you'll probably find that any spare change you have at the end of the month you'll want to start putting away too to see your savings build quicker.

Another way could be to put your money into a savings account and give the card/access to it to a family member to keep hold of so you can't dip into it until you feel comfortable enough with yourself to be able not to spend it.

You could post a SOA and see if there are other savings you could possbily make to increase the amount you may be able to save.

aliasojo

krustylouise wrote: »

Thank you both for being kind. I look at the short term, I'm very impatient. I always think if I save £100 for 1 year that is only £1200 that doesn't get me a car or a house. I know it's a decent amount but it seems sooooo far in relation to a house or even a car.

I know what you mean.

Think about it though, if you don't start now even with a small amount, in a year's time you'll have nothing at all and you'll be sat there thinking 'I wish I'd saved something'.

Try to not go down the 'it doesn't seem much' route, that's just perpetuating the defeatist kinda thoughts.

It's habit that's important at this stage, not amounts. Don't think about how much you're saving, try to focus more on the fact you're getting into the savings habit.



*says she who should really have taken her own advice years ago and then wouldn't have ended up in debt*. ;):D

UnionGirl

TDMum wrote: »

If you feel like you get no fun/luxuries why not start lower at say £50 a month and use the other £50 for treats etc. Then once you see the £50's start to build up it may spurr you on to up your savings amount gradually to the £100.

Great advice from TDMum. I started out 5 years ago saving £50. As I'm now in a better job and better wage this £50 increased to £100pm, to £150pm, and now at £200pm.

Put it in an easy access ISA and you won't be taxed on it. If you need to withdraw from it you can, but you will take a loss on the interest. I think some ISAs allow you one or 2 withdrawals a year. I find that the loss of interest (even though it isn't much at the moment) keeps me from withdrawing from my ISA.

katy_ann

Hey hun, just wanted to say I know how you feel, Ive been really down this month and now Im so stumped for money I dont know what to do Even if I go out and buy a bag of crisps I feel happy which is so wrong *hugs* We can do this together! x

tallyhoh

When I was a struggling parent I found that working out how many hours I had to put in at work to buy anything.

For example if you are on minimum pay you have put in about 8.5 hours work to pay for the massage or nearly 17 hours for the trampoline.

krustylouise

Thank you all so much. I do have an ISA and I also have a monthly saver account (high ish interest) in my ISA I save all spare change at the end of every day and maintenance from DD's Dad goes in every Friday as I spend my money on DD and she never goes without.

In my monthly saver I save £100 a month (this hasn't been set up yet, I requested they do this when I opened the account but they haven't done it yet and I can't do it myself online as its only allowed deposit a month, instructed via the bank.

But the money I had saved in these has been spent completely since yesterday and today.