Envious of others

victory

TheEffect wrote: »

I'm 22, at university with a year to go, am broke and single. I look around at my close friends, and while few are in the same circumstances as me, others have good jobs, savings, partners, children, have just started to get their first property, engaged, traveling etc and I can't help but feel envious and that I've sort of 'fallen behind' in life.

I know I'm still young, and I'll hopefully be in a better position in a few years time, but I can't seem to shake this feeling, and can't seem to look further than the current circumstances.

To make it all worse, it's raining...

Aww don't waste your precious time being envious of others, no one knows what actually goes on behind closed doors;)

Look at yourself, I'm sure you are popular, have friends, great company, attractive/handsome, give back to the commnity, volunteer, make yourself feel better, will make you value what you have and see that what you have it is not so bad after all, you have your health, your future, great things lie ahead:D

Orlando_Virgin

TheEffect wrote: »

Great post, thanks. I had aspirations to become a teacher (I worked in a school for a year before going to university), but recently I've been questioning whether that's still a route I want to go down. I think that's the moment I started looking at others and feeling envious.

Just a question, what do you think gets you down the most?

Being broke, being single, or not having enough life goals set for yourself? A mixture of all 3?

I know being broke makes the other 2 things harder because you struggle to find funds to go out and do anything. Personally I was single and broke, I stayed in for a few weeks with my friends and family and stuff, stayed busy and then when I had a bit of money together I could then start to go out to places.

I've also set myself a few goals I want to achieve, short term ones like go to the gym, get fit, change my eating a bit, see a few more sights in Britain rather than !!!! it all up against the wall.

And longer term ones like take a 12 month career break, it all has me looking forward, rather than backwards and at the right now.

marisco_2

The last year of a degree can drag. It takes huge commitment, masses of hard work and takes up much of your time and energy.

You are focusing on the negatives of your situation right now, probably not helped by the bad whether . I can relate to the 'feeling broke' that you mention. I was literally brassic during my last year at university and that made me question if I was doing the right thing many times. I am very glad I stuck with it now though.

Dont want too much too soon. Enjoy this time, make the most of university life, both academically and socially. Most students can access a great social life. Often the best way to meet people is to just make the effort to attend as many social events as possible and start to mix.

I am not saying this to mock you but you are still very young. There is plenty of time to build a career, put some savings by, get on the property ladder, find a partner who you eventually want to commit to and feel confidant to have children with.

Your qualifications and knowledge could open all kinds of doors for you later on. You could land a job that involves alot of travel if that is what you would like. Or one where you are UK based but that pays a salary enabling you to have exactly the lifestyle you are dreaming of now.

All good things come in time, you just have to trust in yourself and make the most of every single opportunity that comes your way OP.

[Deleted User]

It's a grey miserable day. Enjoy the fact that you're able to go for an all day drinking session occasionally, and your working mates can't. Go to the pub and invent some cocktails

You've not got a manager, you've not got a mortgage looming over your head, you don't need to get up at 6.30am on a sunday and change a crying baby's nappy. Life is simple and easy at your stage. Enjoy it- you're actually at a very exciting point of your life if you stop to look at your future possibilities

Cheer up, it's getting warmer soon. Just remember to wear sunscreen

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Mary Schmich

maman

TheEffect, I'm sure the weather's got something to do with it. It's getting everyone down (me included:().

I found the list of things you were envious about difficult to reconcile with you being a university student. The people you say you're envious of are just at a different stage than you and may well be a different age too. I wouldn't envy anyone with a job, mortgage and child at 22. I'd far sooner be you.

I live in a university town and I envy the students their carefree lifestyle. Focus on getting your degree, getting on top of your studies will make you feel good. See if there's any chance of getting a job for the summer so that you can ease the finances a bit. Make some plans to go out with college mates.

Teaching is a very tough job but, unless you really can't afford it, doing a PGCE might help you decide.

Bangton

I'm pretty sure we all get envious of others. I'm envious that your 22 and at uni... something I never did! ! My brothers house is better than mine, my other brother's isn't but he has two children that are his world. My sister never has to think about what she spends or work full time because she is well off. I'm envious of them all but I've come to realise it's better to think about what you have got not what you haven't. ... really it's clich!d but true. If your still not happy ... change things

FBaby

The feeling of envy is not always a bad thing. It can actually be the fuel to make changes in your life, the energy you need to make things happen. Envy is only bad if you let it eat you inside, or you can't keep it inside and it comes out destructively.

I have been envious before, and it has allowed me an internal 'i'll show them that I can do it too' process. I have never let it affect my friendships though and never stopped them being happy for them.

geoffky

You do not know you are born....22 and at uni....I wish...

cif85

I'm so jealous of you....

At 22 I was in the exact same position as you - in my final year at Uni, not a penny to my name, my friends were out enjoying themselves and some had families and steady jobs. I was terrified I wouldn't get the career that I (or my family) wanted, terrified I wouldn't graduate and 'let everyone down', terrified that I hadn't met 'the One'...

Truth be told, my life was only really just beginning. I did graduate, did a bit of traveling, I found my career, and a year or so later The One appeared out of nowhere. Uni was an experience I'll never regret, I met some great people who are my best friends now, but it was what happened after Uni that has made me who I am.

You are about to embark on the most exciting time of your life - you don't know what's going to happen, but that's the whole point! You're not tied down to anyone, you have no responsibilities, you can do literally anything you want. Plan a year out after Uni, get a job - any job - save some money, see the world, find out what/who you like and what/who you don't. And then, after all that, start thinking about your life goals and ambitions. It will all fall into place eventually.

Trust me, you're going to have the time of your life.

meritaten

Envy is a negative emotion - if your friends are the same age as you and you envy THIER lifestyle analyse why. what are they doing differently to you? how could you bring your lifestyle up to similar standard? think positively - if they are older and have their degrees - then this could be YOUR lifestyle if you work hard and emulate them!