Children's party etiquette?

pigpen

Person_one wrote: »

It is a bit rude.

You have to try to remember, not just decide you're going to forget and its ok! You must remember loads of other stuff every day. I bet you have a family calendar or diary. You could have replied to the invite and put it in there in the time you spend posting on MSE.

I understand that people aren't perfect and things get forgotten, but deciding in advance that you're not even going to try to be polite and considerate doesn't really sit well with me.

The children are told to tell the host whether they can go or not so I don't see the need to phone/text too.. they are 8 and 10 and 12 so pretty reliable at passing on a message so I don't see the need really. But I forget everything.. I went to an appointment at the bank not so long ago.. what name is it.. erm... I don't know! I do have a name.. fortunately OH remembered it! Made me very aware how few people use my name.

They also have to get permission from KH if they are meant to be at his because most of the time he won't let them go. I usually remember to get them to give him the invitation so he can explain to the parents why these are not allowed to go.

I stop by here in tea breaks.. every 15-30 minutes at the moment..

idea wrote: »

But we're all busy in one way or another are we not? Perhaps we should all be inducted as to which parents within nurseries/schools are too busy to respond so that we need not waste our own time time inviting those children in the first place!!!!

I'm probably busier.. I have had 9 'urgent' calls to make and not found time or enough peace to make one (currently vacuuming so no quiet available to do it now) which means it is going to be Thursday next week before I find time to do anything.. by then the builder might be here to sort the kitchen.. so that would be a week on Friday (2 weeks tomorrow!) before I can fit anything else in.. Great... now I just remembered I am far too busy for a normal person and I have 2 weeks of chaos and insanity ahead.. I guess that's the end of April then!.

Back to the packing and washing and cooking dinner and sweeping the rest of the broken glass in the kitchen.. and work surface clearing so the ceiling can be pulled down next week hopefully :cool:

I'd be happy enough with them not being invited.. DD5 is usually greeted with 'for goodness sake! not another one!' when she brings invites home.. she doesn't have any close friends but they seem to still be in the habit of inviting the full class in yr3..

I never invite anyone to come to our parties.

Alchemilla

I do know some parents who CBA to take their children to parties which I find sad.

pinkshoes

As the invitations are for a CHILD to go to a party, then surely as a parent it would be really mean to the child to forget about it and not reply, let alone to the party organiser?!?

I have a photographic memory, so can remember being 4 very vividly! When I got party invitations, I always checked my mum had replied, and that she'd written it in the calendar so I knew when it was!

I would have been SO cross with my mum if she'd forgotten a party!

sassyblue

idea wrote: »

Hi all,

Again I am in need of advice of all you very experienced parents!

My DD is four soon and we have arranged a party at our local soft play place as that's what she enjoys the most. I duly sent out invitations to all her little friends at nursery and some have replied some haven't.

Now when my DD has been invitied to parties, I have usually responded to the invitation shortly after receiving it, but I have not had replies from some of the parents. As we've not had a party before I wanted to know if this is normal practice???

I'm happy for all the children that have been invited to attend, but would like to know numbers as the venue need to know in advance and I will need to put together the dreaded party bags. Is it usual for children to just turn up? In which case how on earth do I know how many might come?

As ever all parenting pointers are very gratefully received.

Idea

Sadly it's completely normal.

Life is busy for everyone but its so rude IMO. You could try asking a few days before if you catch them at nursery but its Easter hols at present and l always find holidays make it worse. DS's birthday is in the 6 weeks holiday, nightmare.

I do enough party bags for all invited, just in case and l either reuse leftover trinkets next year, sell on car boots or buy chocolates/sweets that can be eaten anyway.

Hope party goes off okay. X

CH27

Not replying to invitation is so rude.
It only takes a minute to text or ring.

elisebutt65

I had one a few years ago ( actually it was Ds1's 11th and he's 18 now) I think I posted about it on here at the time. ( been here a loooooong time). I had a 'no' for a boy do I carried on and organised the pizza party at Pizza Hut without including him.

Come the day and his dad rings up 'His football practise has been cancelled. Can he come now?' I had to bite my lip to stop being rude! He was still peed off even when I politely explained it was too late to alter numbers.

That was the same party that a dad decided to stay with his son, ordered his own pizza and then left, leaving me to pay for his food, without even a thank you!

With DS2, as its his 13th this year, only 2 days after my last chemo session, I've ordered a special cake and his mates can come round, eat and then hit the town with a few quid for a comics and sweetie session and Ill get them some vouchers for the milkshake bar. Much less hassle.

zoesmummy_2006

its my daughters 7th birthday on the 19th and we're having a party on the 20th as its the weekend. obviously now its the easter holidays and by the time she went back to school it would be 5 days before the party so too late notice for some, so we handed out the invites a couple days before half term

By the last day of term we'd had 6 replies out of 10 so we're doing really well this time (only invited girls this year as last year the boys were terrors and scared the younger kids to death fighting and running round and paying attention to no-one when asked not to!!)

Party bag wise i bought 2 packs of scented erasers from b&m, 12 in a pack and 99p each!! bundle of pencils 24 for £2 off ebay, 24 notebooks on amazon for £4, pack of 24 for £3.50 on amazon and then a sml packet of lovehearts 10p from a local sweetie shop. Anything thats left goes into my party box for my sons party in august lol. And anything left after that will be reused for dd's next party

jakes-mum

Yep, always get some parents that just dont reply This year I booked the play centre after hours, out of the 22 invited, 14 replied, 3 brought siblings, 7 didnt respond of turn up and 1 didnt respond and turned up with a 'sorry forgot to text'

I wasnt overly bothered about the siblings as the centre catered for 40, and I have a set rule that I make 4 extra party bags on top of all that answer saying they are coming, any left over after all the invited kids go to any siblings that tag along. Had 3 very happy toddlers that day :rotfl:

Threebabes

Its very rude.

Would you not send a gentle reminder to those who have not replied, saying if we have not heard by a certain date we take it as you can't make it.

jellyhead

Alchemilla wrote: »

I do know some parents who CBA to take their children to parties which I find sad.

It is sad, but I think it's a minority or parents. Sometimes they just can't afford a taxi to a play centre that's out of town. The last 2 parties my boy went to were 6 and 10 miles away respectively. If my husband was at work and the venue wasn't on a bus route then my boy wouldn't be going.