Children's party etiquette?

idea

Hi all,

Again I am in need of advice of all you very experienced parents!

My DD is four soon and we have arranged a party at our local soft play place as that's what she enjoys the most. I duly sent out invitations to all her little friends at nursery and some have replied some haven't.

Now when my DD has been invitied to parties, I have usually responded to the invitation shortly after receiving it, but I have not had replies from some of the parents. As we've not had a party before I wanted to know if this is normal practice???

I'm happy for all the children that have been invited to attend, but would like to know numbers as the venue need to know in advance and I will need to put together the dreaded party bags. Is it usual for children to just turn up? In which case how on earth do I know how many might come?

As ever all parenting pointers are very gratefully received.

Idea

Cinders:

It really annoys me when people don't reply to party invitations, I find it rude. You need to be know numbers when planning food, party bags etc, and if you're limited on spaces and you knew that one child couldn't attend, then your child would be able to invite another friend instead.

Hezzawithkids

You need to know the numbers so its perfectly ok for you to chase up the non-responders. Did you hand the invites to the parents yourself or were they put in the children's bags/trays etc? In which case they may not have seen them yet. You can ask the nursery staff to check for you and they may even chase up the parents if you don't get to see them yourself (my DD's nursery used to so this). If you don't get a response then your only choice is to assume they aren't coming.

Money_maker

I had this too, 4 parents didn't respond out of 14 invited. I didn't know them well enough to chase them up. None of the 4 turned up although I did make provision (ie. party bags, cake etc) just in case.

Just seems like rudeness to me.

Money_maker

Cinders: wrote: »

It really annoys me when people don't reply to party invitations, I find it rude. You need to be know numbers when planning food, party bags etc, and if you're limited on spaces and you knew that one child couldn't attend, then your child would be able to invite another friend instead.

Yes, we would have invited someone else had we known so this reason is very valid.

jellyhead

I tend to print my own invitations now, and I write 'please reply by xxx so that I can book your place. It clearly lets the parent know that if they don't respond, I won't be expecting them.

At nursery the invites could go missing, so you could check with the parents. Divorced parents might need extra time before they know if the ex will bring the child to a party, or sometimes they just hand the invite to the ex and the ex doesn't bother replying.

I've had a child turn up when I wasn't expecting them, but the play centre type of places are usually happy to add an extra child to the party, especially if it's buffet style food. It depends on whether you want to make extra party bags for the people who haven't responded. I do, but my sister doesn't.

thunderbird

In my experience there are always a few who don't reply and then you don't know if they will turn up or not, also you get some who say they are coming and then just don't turn up. Personally I find that very rude, but it is just the way some people are!

If you will get the chance to see the parents before the party, you will need to corner them and get an answer from them! it isn't such a problem if you are having a party at home or in a hall, but I assume for yours you have to pay per head.

Spendless

Yes. Unforunatley common for parents to do that. :mad:

My suggestion have you met the minimum numbers for the soft play centre with the people who have replied? My friend spoke to the play centre she had for her son at the weekend and they said she can ad upto 4 on the day. So she handed in her list with all the confirmed names and then drew a line and said these might turn up too, one of them did. Speak to the centre for their procedure for this. It's such a common occurance I'd be surprised if they didn't have a policy in place about adding numbers.Is a party bag not included in the party package? If it is, the centre will sort out how many bags are needed. if not just take some extras with you.

I organised a party on Easter Sunday to take palce the following day. :eek: and I'm still in shock I pulled it off. I had the facebook details to get hold of 1 child, plus knew where 2 others lived and I knew one of those would have the phone number of a 4th. took some running round knocking on doors and phoning people but got it sorted. I just couldn't get hold of a 5th, and as she was a no shower from a party a few years back, I didn't go out of my way to get hold of her. I rang twice and when there was no answer I left it. So can you get numbers, addresses, facebook details, from any of the other parents who might know the ones who ahven't answered?

idea

Thank you all for your responses. I guess some people don't bother being polite these days. I would never not respond to an invitation, but I guess that's just me. The party is in a few weeks so I still have some time to chase, the problem now is that the parents who I know well (along with their children) have all responded, it's the ones I don't know who haven't bothered! I'll maybe put a little note on the childrens pegs next week. I'll also talk to the venue and see what they say. Extra party bags is a good idea (but slightly annoying as it will be a complete waste of money if they don't turn up!!)

Thanks again for the input, at least I now know that this sort of thing is 'normal' and to be expected!

Idea x

idea

jellyhead wrote: »

I tend to print my own invitations now, and I write 'please reply by xxx so that I can book your place. It clearly lets the parent know that if they don't respond, I won't be expecting them.

Thanks Jellyhead for this....lesson learnt for next time!

Paddles

We have moved around a bit and in four different schools I've only ever had between half and three-quarters of parents respond to party invites! Drives me crazy - especially if you book something where numbers are linited. I don't tend to do that anymore for that exact reason, but on the times I have I have thought nothing about tracking down the parents who don't answer and demanding an answer :rotfl:I really don't understand what happened to manners!