Oh God! What have I done!!!!!!

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Pam

No job is worth making your life miserable.
OH would be upset if he thought you were feeling worthless-you have already said he is supportive..just hang onto that.
You will learn to live on less money, and its unlikely to be forever! Keep reading all MArtins tips and these boards and you will save a fortune.
Good luck x

Muppet81

tweegirl wrote: »

Just wanted to add my sympathies - I'm in a very similar position with a change of boss - I think I may be subject to a bit of "bullying", but because I'm in the middle of a divorce, etc., money is extremely tight and I just have to ignore as much as I can!!

Just as soon as I get out the other side of the divorce (with my massive settlement of course!) I'm going to do exactly the same as you and oh boy am I going to enjoy it!

Good luck with it all and thanks. Go girl!:D

patentgirl

Hi
You have definately done the right thing and very brave of you too, I would love the courage to do it I hate my job dread everything morning and clock watch the whole day unfortuately I keep going for one reason only money but listening to people on here i wonder if we could manage on one salary at least for a bit you would obviously spend less ie petrol, clothing, as was said before collections for various things going on in offices I know myself I had to sponser 4 people for race for life last year I know it is a very worthwhile cause but would rather not have to feel pressurised into it because you do one person you have got to do everyone!
I know i would spend alot less on food doing alot more baking and have time to shop around for bargains I have nearly talked myself into joining you! might have along chat with OH tonight
On the other side if you want to get back to work 50 is no age the company I work for encourage older workers for their experience and knowledge (I am not saying 50 is old though)
Good luck either way and keep us posted it might be me here with you soon.xx

jcr16

um i don't know what i can really say becuase most of it has already been said.

but if u have worked all ur life u can't really say ur a freeloader. ur just inbetween job's. and i'm sure ur partner is gonna love u no matter how much u bring home.

sometimes a huge change can be the making of some new and wonderful ventures. things u have never even thought of trying.

meanmarie

Pam,

Don't panic, we only get one chance at this life and IMHO you have done what is right for you. Last year I became so stressed from working with a boss who had only one way of doing things...her way that I suffered total burnout...lost interest in everything, had no energy and lost my appetite. I have been off work since July 06 and am now in the process of retiring on health grounds. The fact that I am almost 62 probably makes a difference but having thought it through I have realised that we can live on a lot less than I would have thought. We no longer have dependant children or a mortgage, but my husband is on state pension so the income is not great. I have learnt so many things about money stretching since I have come on here that I am more and more confident every day that we can still live a happy and solvent life on much less.

You could also consider taking up temping one or two days a week and stash that money so that you can accustom yourself to living on OHs income.

A freeloader is someone who expects a good lifestyle without being prepared to do anything to help themselves to attain that lifestyle...not you.

Lots of luck,

Marie

Shortie

OOooo, another thought. Not sure how tight money will be but is it worth popping onto the DFW board to post your SOA and see if anyone can suggest cutbacks financially? When I took a look myself at my life insurance I went from £100 joint cover a month to £12 joint cover a month (although I must admit we reduced the level of cover quite a but so it wasn't like for like) to help make things easier?

But stay here too!! We're here if you need a chat, and there's always the Grocery and Store Cupboard challenges if you want to reduce your food shopping, and the PMS Challenge for Food and everything (including bills) reductions.

Jayar

Muppet, I applaud your decision to leave a job that was making you stressed. Your health and peace of mind are much, much more important than mere money. I understand that you are in a bit of a panic at the moment as to how you can replace the money lost from your wages, but, be assured that you WILL manage.
A few years ago, I decided to give up work at about your age. My husband had retired and I was feeling just a tad jealous TBH . Since then, I have been amazed at how we have managed with less money coming in. OK, we don't have expensive holidays any more, instead we do things like spend some time in the Lake District with friends and instead of eating out, we have friends round for dinner, or go to them. We have also discovered the joys of entertaining ourselves for free - days spent pottering in the garden, going for long walks or just settling down to listen to some music with a nice glass (or two) of wine. Not HM, must try that
Anyhoo, what I an saying, in my long and rambling manner, is please try not to worry about the future - in the words of Howard Jones (who?) the future will take care of itself somehow. And it's true, just try and relax and enjoy your "holiday" from the work place.
Good luck

pennineman

As everyone is saying, you will manage - but different circumstances just take getting used to, that's all.

When I gave up a full-time job way back in the early '90s we wondered how we'd manage but we did - really without any problems. But we did shut down on non-essential spending at first. Stayed in, didn't go out, kept a detailed record of all spending. And then gradually as we saw how we could we began to go out again and live.

Since then I've changed my job several times, although still within the same general area, but often leaving a job without a new one to go to. You just have to be flexible and consider anything - even if you don't persue it.

Looking back I think I enjoyed all of my new lives.

Hope it works out for you.

balmaiden

Hi muppet,

Well that was me a year ago, I actually walked out of my job one day I had worked there for over 14 years and loved what I did but had a bullying boss who caused me to have various stress related illnesses.

When I got home I thought what have I done? Although my Husband backed my decision 100 percent. I felt so guilty, like you I was 50 had always worked and we had a very good standard of living but I had little qualifications to get another job, what next?

well 12 months on and I am busy packing up my house, as it is let for the summer and husband and I are off to Oz for 6 weeks, he has luckily been able to wangle time off from work. This would have been unthinkable a year ago.

Not only that but as we have managed so well without my wage ( thanks to MSE !) that we have decided my husband is going to give up work at xmas. We will have a small income from investments and my husband will have a small private pension. We will be going from an original combined take home pay of £800 a week to just £280 but heck this life is not a dress rehearsal, is it?

My advice to you, take the time to use this positive move, to think how you might be able to change your life for the better. It might not seem like it now but take it from me anything is possible.

Muppet81

Yet again, thank you to all of who who have taken the time to respond today. You have helped so much, not just your kind words but some very good ideas for me to start taking up.

I did downsize 18 months ago from full time (very well paid) to part time (not very well paid) so I have had experience of cutting back.
This time though it will be a really major cut back as OH has child maintenance to pay and all associated expenses and these cannot be affected.

It has been a comfort to hear so many of you who have been in a simialar situation and lived managed to cope and enjoy life.
I guess I need to lose the mentality of "I work hard so I have earned the meal out/new dress/holiday/trip to the theatre"

Here's to the challenge.