Time to be completely honest

Sea78

Sea78 wrote: »

So to do today:

*[[STRIKE]COLOR="Red"]Mark those blooming yr 9 assessments[/STRIKE][/COLOR]Grr no need as was all in my head!!:rolleyes:
*another load of washing and dry it and iron and put away!!Done another load, pegged it out, just need it to dry now!Taken in dry lothes, in pile waiting to be ironed. What an exciting life I lead! Another load in the machine now
*2 more flylady missions todayNot done much yet!
[STRIKE]*attend to bushwacker eyebrows (honestly, I'll forget unless I write it down!)[/STRIKE]Done - have nice neat brows now
*plan something exciting for hte yr 9s tomorrow, final unit on Christianity so they'll be sooo enthusiastic about that! Might do blockbusters.
*Take photos of the lawnmower
*get a new hoover bag and hoover upstairs - getting a little too much up there now
*Prepare clothes for DS and me for tomorrow.
[STRIKE]*Maybe write a little card to my mum thanking her for coming over yesterday - it was so lovely to see her.[/STRIKE]Done, and a little card for one of my kind of like mums (long story!!) as she's just broken her wrist

I think that's it for now - will update with mroe if more come up during the day.

Sea xxx

OH has no memory of last night and has apologised and taken kids to mil for a couple of hours so I can get some stuff done. Am off to go have a go at the marking now.

We've been invited to a BBQ this afternoon but I'll have to see how much I get done and also OH is on about going to morrisions to buy stuff for it - more spending then. Need a talk with him tonight I think.


10 mins later - if I had a brain I'd be DANGEROUS! I just went to mark my yr 9 assessments to discover they HAVEN'T DONE ONE!! So will sort the lesson plan out now instead. Honestly - what is up with me???!!!
Sea xx

Sea78

WARNING: RANT/MOAN BELOW!

I'm so !!!!ed off i could cry. Went out to the BBQ with the kids and OH - no one else brought their kids (well, the only couple that have a kid didn't - no one else has kids). So DD brought a Bambi DVD she's been lent and watched that and DS ran round the garden a bit. I managed to ruin my diet as although we were the first there, Oh didn't get the BBQ stuff until the BBQ was full and so I had to wait for my chicken (not really bothered but stuffed face with cheese twists and dips instead). Then OH was drinking, as was everyone else apart from a pg woman. I didn't really feel comfortable as I don't know everyone all that well and they are all OH's friends so a little uncomfortable as I think they know the problems we've been having. Finally I brought the kids home, but forgot my chicken (for tea) and rang Oh to tell him to bring it when he came. He responded that he'd get it tomorrow as they're all off to the pub as it's raining. I know he's going to come back mindless or arsey again. I thought think were going to change but obviously not. He'll have spent loads on the BBQ food as well - I asked for the cheapie chicken - he brought 2 butterfly chicken breasts for me and v expensive seasoning, no food or drink for the kids and 2 racks of ribs and a pack of kebabs for him. I give up. I can't keep defending him and thinking well he is considerate sometimes - I know it was considerate to get the nicer chicken, but maybe I'm hormonal and PMTish.

What finished me off was on the way home DD asked where daddy was and I said (nicely) that he was just staying with his friends for a little longer. She said she'd had a nice weekend and we chatted about yesterday again - that was nice. Then she said 'Daddy doesn't come out with us much does he?. I know she probably just said it and doesn't really think it (I am careful what I say around the kids as I don't thikn it's appropriate to bad mouth their father in front of them whatever I might think) but it made me feel soooo bad.

He's out now spending more money and doesn't *get* that we don't have it to spend on !!!!!!.

Was feeling so positive about everything so maybe was building it all up too much and this is just normal life. I dont know.

Sorry to be negative - I'll go off and sort myself out (get on with all the things I didn't get done) and maybe make some cakes with the kids. Don't know when he'll be back anyway. Looks like I'll be doing the bedtime routine by myself again.

Need to shake myself out of this self-pitying though. Doesn't do anyone any good!

Back to normal service soon - promise!

Sea xxx

Seaxwyn

Oh Sea, I'm so sorry to read that post. I don't know what to say except send loads and loads of sympathy (I can't find the hugs smilie or I'd click it!)

You are an angel to put up with his ways and to be such a good mother to your children. I read enough of your previous thread that you have gone out of your way to be fair and make allowances and I think you should stop doing that now and think only about what is best for you and the children.

It does sound as if the drink is his main problem and he needs help with that, over and above everything else.

Thinking of you - and good luck with the Year 9s tomorrow.

Sea78

Thanks:)

Been writing the blockbusters quiz qu for the yr 9s - they better appreciate it!
Also done the ironing, a quick whiz round the kitchen and collected all the dirty washing from kids rooms. All clothes laid out for tomorrow too. Didn't manage to achieve all on my to do list, but there's always tomorrow night after work!

He's not back yet, which means he's been drinking since 2.30. Got a text about an hour ago saying people were pleased to see me out and that I looked good but I'm finding it hard to respond!

Oh a brighter note, Ebay was FANTASTIC tonight - I got £4.75 for a tesco till spit! My mate also had great success with lots of bundles of wool too. A good night Will send it out tomorrow.

Hopefully will be on being more positive now!

Sea xx

hypno06

Hey hun, dig deep for some of that strength that you found recently. Sit down with OH and talk about it - why this is hurting you, etc. Tell him it wasn't acceptable a few weeks ago and it isn't acceptable now. Things have got to change and he has got to do something about those issues - drinking and spending.

Be strong, remember you and the kids are worth this. Not saying you shouldn't be with him, but he has to work for his place in this family set up.

xx

Sea78

I know. That's why I was feeling so positive before, because he'd admited the problem and said that it wasn't really me being the problem but him too and the alcohol. I'm off to my mum's next weekend so he won't see me or the kids then and yet doesn't seem to care. No doubt I'll get lots of missing you all texts next weekend anyway.

Right, enough of my moaning, probably making it sound worse as I feel frustrated!

Thanks for the support xx

Sea78

Hi all :hello:

Well time for a new little list of things to do and for a little update - nothing exciting really! Managed to convince OH not to get a takeaway tonight as we have all the stuff in the freezer to make what he wanted - grrr.

Oooppps he's just arrived back with two very tired kids, so will be back shortly!

Seaxx

Sea78

Right - they're in really good moods so before I go do bath, book & bed, I thought I'd pop up a little to do list for tonight

*Flylady as much as possible - already done a quite 15 min room rescue in the kitchen and it has made a difference already!
*Write a little letter to my great aunt.
*Check spending from weekend - update spending diary and check online banking properly tonight.
*Put away more ironing done last night
*Would LOVE a bath and reading my library book but will have to see if I can fit this in!

OH and I of course has a row when he got back at 11.30pm last night - getting on ok today but really need that counselling - he says he's just waiting for them to get back to him now.


oooh and I might be getting some more hours next year at school which would be nice for the money Will make no diff to the tax credits though as it seems that once you earn £35000 it doesn't change agian until you earn £75000!! So we're just over the limit (combined household income).

Sea xx

Sea78

Sea78 wrote: »

[STRIKE]*Flylady as much as possible - already done a quite 15 min room rescue in the kitchen and it has made a difference already! Want to do one of the weekly home blessing missions (only 10 mins).[/STRIKE]Done - did the windows in the kitchen and living room, the mirror and the photo frames, also whizzed round the kitchen and tidyed a little. Got more to take to the charity shop tomorrow as well.
*Write a little letter to my great aunt.
[STRIKE]*Check spending from weekend - update spending diary and check online banking properly tonight.[/STRIKE] DONE
[STRIKE]*Put away more ironing done last night[/STRIKE]DONE
*Would LOVE a bath and reading my library book but will have to see if I can fit this in!

Sea xx

Just a few more bits and pieces to do, but I also need to get finances in order fully and work out what I've got left for the month as we're meant to be going back down to London at the end of June for my neices b-day. Hmmmmm

Sea78

Right, written the card to my g.aunt and tidied up quite a bit

Might slope off now and have that bath

Will be back tomorrow though with a new list - sorry - I know they're not that interesting but they're really helping me at the mo!

Also, has anyone read How to get out of debt, stay out of debt and live prosperously? I'm going to try to set up a more detailed daily/weekly spending record so I can actually see where our food budget goes etc. I think too much is going on non-food items!

Sea xx