Would you leave a nine year old home alone?

lostinrates

Kayalana99 wrote: »

Thats missing the point entirely.

No parent would want thier child alone during a robbery. We have a duty to protect them and under NO circumstance should they have to face that alone.

Fwiw, I have been at home during crime on more than one occasion. Sadly. One was very traumatic and I was a toddler. Although long term it's been harder on me than anyone else, I think that's partly because at the time my parent who was there was so traumatised. Later, at primary age, I had the misfortune to witness a few violent crimes, mostly with the same parent, and one in particular I remember, it had the worst outcome, and shockingly though horrified I do not believe I have suffered any long term trauma from that one. My parent on that occasion possessed tremendous presence of mind and made it almost 'a terrible adventure'. Parents can both save or make things very much worse, it's that thing of it being down to the person and the circumstance regardless of the age (or nature of crime I suppose). Thinking about it I think I saw more crime as a child than I have as an adult, which is rather depressing, and I think I had a fairly wonderful childhood, we just happened to be in some situations at times.

I do not miss the point, I take it and agree, no one wants children suffering crime alone, (well, at all) but my point is that I am interested in how statistically likely it is that children are at home alone or anywhere with their parents at the time of crime. I genuinely do not know, and feel unable to make a real decision on how I feel about your post and the point made with no perspective given to the number of google searches on one aspect of the who.e picture iykwim.

jellyhead

FatVonD wrote: »

I don't think it is about you, Spendless, trust me, LOTS has happened since you left the thread :eek:

If it's the thread I was thinking of, wasn't the 9 year old to be left with an older sibling rather than on their own?

moomoomama27

No, not unless it was a dire emergency

Never ever! It's completley irresponsible, and I wish a law would be put in place to stop stupid parents thinking their child is mature enough/responsible enough to be left!!

It doesn't matter how sensible/mature they are, they are not an adult, and if an emergency was to occur would in all liklihood not be able to deal with it, as they are not emotionally/mentally able to do so!!

If I knew of anyone leaving a child as young as that alone. I would call SS for definate! Anything could happen, it's never worth the risk IMO.

glitter_fairy

Yes, because of necessity only

moomoomama27 wrote: »

Never ever! It's completley irresponsible, and I wish a law would be put in place to stop stupid parents thinking their child is mature enough/responsible enough to be left!!

It doesn't matter how sensible/mature they are, they are not an adult, and if an emergency was to occur would in all liklihood not be able to deal with it, as they are not emotionally/mentally able to do so!!

If I knew of anyone leaving a child as young as that alone. I would call SS for definate! Anything could happen, it's never worth the risk IMO.

But some can cope with an emergency. check out my post higher up when i fainted and my son delt with it.

jellyhead

I'd say no. Mine was never left in the house at age 9, not even for 5 minutes while I nipped to the shop. He's the 'head in the clouds' type though. I wouldn't have let him play outside with friends at 9 either, although most parents would.

I started to leave him in the house or let him out with friends halfway through year 6. As Spendless says they have to gain a little bit of independence before they walk to high school alone.

My youngest is much more sensible. I don't know if I'd leave him at age 9 - he's only 7 now so it's not come up. When I make that decision it will be based on his maturity and past behaviour, not his age alone.

When I was 9 we walked to school alone. My younger siblings were walked to primary by my mum, besides which it would have been really embarrassing if she'd walked me to middle school. We still all remember the boy whose mum held his hand on the way to middle school.

moomoomama27

No, not unless it was a dire emergency

glitter_fairy wrote: »

But some can cope with an emergency. check out my post higher up when i fainted and my son delt with it.

But could they cope with an intruder? An electrical fire? Flooding? How about if they fell, hit their head, something fell on them?

Too many variables to say catagorically that any 9 year old should be intentionally left for any period of time. If an emergency happens while an adult is present and they have to deal with it, then nothing can be done about that!

9 is just too young an age, if we were talking 12 then yes, I'd see things differently perhaps, although why are we so keen for children to fend for themselves? Teaching them life skills and being present to catch any dramas/emergencies, is different from the ''get on with it I have xyz to do/achieve''.

The minute you have a child, they become no.1 priority. Adequate childcare arrangements should always be put in place before an adult goes to work, nips to a shop etc etc.

Hang_Tight_Harry

Other please state.

As a parent of two (now adult) children, my response was no. Leaving a 9 year old is irresponsible, in my opinion. No matter how old they may appear they are too young to put such a responsibility onto their shoulders.

jellyhead

As Peachy said earlier, there are so many variables. As the eldest I babysat sometimes (not at 9, but at 11 certainly) but our next door neighbour was like an aunt to us and she always knew if mum was going out, and would make sure she didn't nip out. If we banged on the connecting wall she'd be round immediately, and if anything unexpected happened (such as my mum being hit by a bus) she knew our dates of birth, allergies etc. and she could have looked after us in her house overnight, fed us, etc. and even taken us to hospital if for example I had an asthma attack.

It wasn't much different to having an older teenager in their bedroom, or a sleeping parent. There were other adults in the street that we knew well too.

As for my own children - we have pensioners on both sides and while they would help, they don't have good hearing and don't drive. It wouldn't be the same if I left my children in the care of a neighbour.

plumpmouse

Yes, from choice

I live in Scandinavia at the moment and people here are genuinely shocked at how "over protective" I am.

However I have no problem at all leaving my 9 year old alone for a short time. I wouldn't leave him all day or even probably for more than half an hour. He is sensible and I know full well he would never do anything stupid. Most of the time he plays on his ds while I'm out.

Do people who won't leave their children alone in the house for a short time allow their children to play out? And if they do can you see them at every second they are out?

I think we do tend to over protect children and if you feel happy doing this then that is fine. However I find it strange that people worry about leaving a 14 year old alone.

I also find it rather worrying that parents feel like their children will set fire and trash the house. What on earth are you teaching them about behaviour. My son isn't perfect but he understands and respects rules.

Where I live at the moment you regularly see children as young as 5 biking to school alone. Terrifies me and it isn't something I would do but I know my son hasn't enough experience to ride his bike on the road so wouldn't do it.

They find me odd as my 2 year old naps in a cot in her bedroom. Here they leave them outside in prams. And when I say outside in a pram it can be outside the school while everyone is inside and no-one can see the pram, or outside cafes. Again it isn't something I would every do but it is their call.

I at the moment am working on my son realising that bad things/accidents do happen but we can't live our life worrying about it. If you think logically every thing we do entails a risk. Children die on school trips (just recently a teacher died on one from the UK I believe) do we stop our children going on these trips as we wouldn't be there to help them cope? Or do we encourage things to help them grow and develop to be their own person.

I can't help but wonder if this over protectiveness is helping to contribute to a generation that is more anxiety filled and prone not to cope. (Just editing to add that this is more about teenagers not being left alone, rather than a 9 year old.)

Oh and if anyone called social services on me I'm sure they would find a happy, adjusted, well loved and cared for child. It does irritate me these people that seem to imply they are better parents simply because they make a different choice. I'm sure everyone on this board has done something at some point that others would think "I'd never do that"

Uphill

No, not unless it was a dire emergency

My 11 year old is capable of looking after herself and I could leave her on her own but she would prefer to be with me, so has never been left on her own, only with her elder brother. She went to a birthday party a couple of days ago and the parent said she would bring her back at 5pm so i went shopping with my partner. I happened to look at my phone at 4:15 and noticed my partner had private messaged me on Facebook saying she was hungry. Confused, I looked at my messages and it was my daughter, who had been dropped off at 4pm and they just drove away! Luckily the back door was left unlocked and she had the sense to message me using my partners kindle.

I wasn't best pleased as you can imagine!