Would you leave a nine year old home alone?

1957cdti

It's a no from me having a daughter I understand its hard to look over them all the time and to be honest I don't but as for leaving the house and leaving them I haven't and wouldn't

FatVonD

No, not unless it was a dire emergency

I voted no way ever but I do remember leaving my son on his own while I popped to the shops at a little bit older than that but I was gone no longer than half an hour.

I also recall taking him along on a shoot with me when he was too ill to go to school at about the same age as I would have been gone for too long and would be too far away in an emergency.

pigpen

Other please state.

Dunroamin wrote: »

Why would you think that a 9 year old that you'd brought up would start to destroy your house as soon as you left?

*max* wrote: »

Same question. I mean, how the heck does one bring up one's kids that you would be afraid of them setting the house on fire?

they set the house on fire while I was in it.. one made toast left the grill on setting fire to the grill pan which spread to the hob before I caught it, one was using the toaster and another was using the grill god knows why they couldn't just wait 2 minutes!.. I dread to think what would have happened had I been out .. accidents happen sadly and I wouldn't want to live with the guilt of knowing that I was out pretending I had no children/shopping/paying bills or whatever while they were being burnt to death.

Most house fires are caused by adults doing something silly or accidentally leaving a pan on or whatever, that is theirs to take responsibility for. My responsibility is my children and by leaving them unattended poses a risk for them to have similar accidents I would still be responsible for.. I don't need the guilt. They come with me or I don't go.. simple as.

Can you imagine a thread on here or in the paper.. My 9 y/o left alone made toast, set the house on fire and I was out buying new shoes for myself sadly they had 80% burns and just died... that wouldn't be the 9 y/o's fault it would be the parents fault.

victory wrote: »

I did vote though and said no way, not a chance but life is not that straightforward, an emergency, hoping in trust that a 9 year old can cope, if anything happened the law would crush you, everyone would be aghast, you would be hung, drawn and quartered, a 9 year old alone, decided to cook? Brr doesn't bare thinking about but like I have said before many parents do and many parents have no problems at all, it's the ones that do that end on the front pages of the papers

Exactly my point!! Glad I'm not the only one!

I think mine were about 12 before being left for half an hour or so.. usually a school run tbh.. If they can walk to high school alone they will survive half an hour with strict instructions.. Unless they were ill they usually get a task while I am out.

Spendless

Yes, from choice

janninew wrote: »

The choices aren't detailed enough for me to answer. How long are we talking about? I would leave a sensible 9 year for 5 minutes whilst I popped to the corner shop, but I wouldn't leave a 9 year old for 8 hours whilst I was at work. Depends entirely on the child, the length of time you are gone etc.

Since this thread is clearly about me and the reason I left the other thread as actually no-one on MSE knows my child at all, so it isn't up to them to judge how I come to the decisons I do. I can give you the full details. The child was 9 3/4 has always been at least a year more mature than his chronological age (I did a course last year where that was covered, son -who is now 13, STILL came out at 1-2 years older than his actual age) had been walking to and from school for the past 6 months without an adult. He didn't want to go to a shop about 10 mins drive away in order for me to pick up a Christmas present. I rang his Dad, the only other adult that knows our son as well. Together we agreed that if the front door was locked, so he couldn't open it without thinking to anyone and the back door was open (you can't get to my back from the side of the house)so he could go outside if he needed to and his Dad was to phone him during the time I would be gone, then we would let him stay home alone. As I went out the door son then requested that he also made himself something to eat in the microwave. My reaction was :eek: noooooo. At this son pointed out he wasn't 2 and that he wasn't his cousin either who had blown up the halls of residence microwave on her 1st day of Uni by not knowing she couldn't heat up a tin it it! I actually can't remember now what son did or didn't eat that day but what I do remember is that husband had not got round to ringing him by the time I'd got back as he had not judged me to be absent long enough to need to ring son to check he was ok. As the queues were not long that day I would perhaps say I'd have been gone around 30 minutes taking into account 20 minutes round trip and 10 mins to buy item.

Do I think EVERY 9 year old is capable of being left in the same way? No probably not. I also have a daughter who was 10 on Sunday I would hesitate to leave her in the same way as she is younger than her years. The course I mentioned above when I did the same on my daughter she came out a year younger than she actually is. Do I think people should take steps to promote independance in their children from around 9, yes I do. Kids go to Secondary school aged 11, frequently travel far further by themselves and if they are like me live somewhere where there is no childcare once they finish yr 6. I personally don't want my children thrown into that situation having never done anything for themselves without an adult always being present.

miamoo

I would never leave a 9 year old alone at home.
A 9 year olds brain does not work the same as an adults, its not a case of 'they look sensible' or 'I have brought them up well' a childs brain deals with situations differently.
You could tell them a 1,000 times what to do in an emergency, but in the actual situation they are more likely to panic. Even simple things like 'dont have any friends in', they are likely to ignore and not consider any consequences.
I would never (and have never) leave a 9yr old alone, even in a dire emergency.

FatVonD

No, not unless it was a dire emergency

Spendless wrote: »

Since this thread is clearly about me

I don't think it is about you, Spendless, trust me, LOTS has happened since you left the thread :eek:

Kayalana99

Ugh. Sorry but I find it disgusting to leave a child alone at that age. Ok they might be more mature then other kids but hey....if I went down the shops for 5min and left my baby in his travel cot whats the worse that could happen?

He might cry - but he wouldnt be able to hurt himself.

No harm done according to your logic right?

And before someone says 'its not the same thing'

Can ANYone here say that its safer to leave a 9year old in the house alone compared to a baby who can't even crawl yet in his travel cot with no means of being hurt?

marisco_2

No, not unless it was a dire emergency

My boys are 7 and 10 and I would not leave them home alone. Not that I dont trust them, but I know them well enough to know that they would not feel comfy about it.

They are more than able to get themselves drinks, snacks and to behave maturely. They also know which friends or neighbours they could contact and how to phone my family or 999 in case of real emergencies.

However if something were to go wrong in the house I would not like for them to be alone, trying to deal with that and feeling scared.

pulliptears

Thats the thing with MSE, everyone judges on their own children. Kids are funny little beings, they don't follow a plan and are strangely different. One 9 year old most definitely isn't like the next.
My DS was exceptionally mature at 9, DD had her head in the clouds. 2 Children, raised exactly the same in the same environment and still totally different.

Don't judge others on your own children

pollypenny

Yes, because of necessity only

I didn't leave my two alone for days, or even went off to do a long shop, but they got home from school about half an hour before I did.

There were no after school clubs in those days.
They had a cold drink and watched TV , read or played.