Ever feel like you're just existing?

Poppy9

9-5 is not what it's cracked up to be. Only weekends off when everything is heaving, same if you go out Friday or Saturday night. You can go out in the evening but you have to be up every morning.

My OH worked shifts and I worked part time and this gave us a much better quality of life. We had mid week lunches, we could go out on a Monday night with no work in the morning some weeks. He didn't have every weekend off, he didn't always have Xmas day or other major holidays off but who cares, they are just one day. We liked having the midweek time when things are quieter and he had the opportunity to spend time with DD.

We all have times we feel life is passing us by. A death of a close relative/friend or a hearing of a birth. For some reason they make us re-evaluate what we are doing with our own life.

The truth is life is not all roses. We have highs and lows but what is important is the people we are sharing the journey with. Consider is your discontentment/frustration more to do with your relationship with your partner, or even your partner. Does it frustrate you that he works min. wage, no career and you feel you bear the financial burden for your future?

You are young. You have plenty of time to change career if that is what you want but it won't make you happy if it's not the real root of your discontentment.

ognum

OP it appears what you are lacking is any kind of life plan or goals and that's why you are stuck.

Nursing is a great first step on many ladders to interesting careers that can be stimulating and motivating.

My own nursing career went from hospital nursing to district nursing, managing teams of community nurses, working for a private company managing drug trials to managing university based genetics research projects.

you do need to look in the periphery of nursing rather than the main stream, you would also qualify for visa status in many different countries if that was the direction you want to follow.

However, it doesn't matter what your career is if all you have in life is trudging to and from work. It's is I know difficult to plan life outside work if you work shifts but some employers are more sympathetic than others.

Try looking to help with medical related charities and get time off to help with kids camps etc. many health authorities will allow sabbatical time for health related volunteering.

plan some really different holidays even if it's only two weeks that you can research. Something that involves learning a new activity, yoga, hiking in the alps, cycling through France, anything that gives you a focus.

Life is a journey and at the moment you feel like you are in a lay by. Time to think of ways change life and enjoy even the small things.

Goldiegirl

I think everybody has felt like they are just existing at one time or another.

In my previous job, it was a complete nightmare to get time off, due to various rules and restrictions that were in place.

So I used to take my holiday at really weird times of year like February and November, when nobody else wanted to be off. That would enable me to take longer chunks of time off, and I went long haul to the sun.

There is a quick hit you can do to make life seem better. Do something once a month, so you always have something to look forward to. It might be a weekend away, or a day out. You could get on the train to the seaside or country, go out for a meal, look round a vintage fair, anything that is different from the day to day grind.

I find that a day out is almost as good as a holiday for the boost that it gives me.

Tygermoth

I was a nurse in what seems a different lifetime now.

I WAS just existing - I loved the job but it ate up my life (it was a high stress role with chronic under staffing)

When my OH said to me 'do you realise we have not had a day off together in 2 years' (he was NHS and shift worker too) I suddenly realised something needed to change. We were broke, sharing in crap accommodation, shattered all the time and were always being called in on short notice. Stress at work, stress at home.

However, rather than lose something I enjoyed and worked hard for I stubbornly refused to listen to myself and burned myself out.

Big Time.

Now I work 9-5 in a tame office job, I take night classes. I go to yoga. I see my friends and family. I have a more well rounded life (for disgustingly the same salary too)

Its not perfect - i have just been made redundant... again... but i still would never consider going back to nursing. The toll is just to great.*

I tip my hat to those that can and do.

*to be fair I cant anyway after having a head injury and having neurological damage and some associated disabilities

LittleBoots

Ive sent you a wee pm

jennyc85

Poppy9 wrote: »

9-5 is not what it's cracked up to be. Only weekends off when everything is heaving, same if you go out Friday or Saturday night. You can go out in the evening but you have to be up every morning.

My OH worked shifts and I worked part time and this gave us a much better quality of life. We had mid week lunches, we could go out on a Monday night with no work in the morning some weeks. He didn't have every weekend off, he didn't always have Xmas day or other major holidays off but who cares, they are just one day. We liked having the midweek time when things are quieter and he had the opportunity to spend time with DD.

We all have times we feel life is passing us by. A death of a close relative/friend or a hearing of a birth. For some reason they make us re-evaluate what we are doing with our own life.

The truth is life is not all roses. We have highs and lows but what is important is the people we are sharing the journey with. Consider is your discontentment/frustration more to do with your relationship with your partner, or even your partner. Does it frustrate you that he works min. wage, no career and you feel you bear the financial burden for your future?

You are young. You have plenty of time to change career if that is what you want but it won't make you happy if it's not the real root of your discontentment.

I know what you're saying; when I first started I thought I loved shift work, but now when I look at my rota, for example, the next 3 weeks I don't have 2 days off together. And I do 13 hour shifts, so that 1 day off sandwiched in between 2 shifts is literally spent recovering.. I find it so hard to get motivated to do anything else!

I just want to cry when I look at my rota, I've got a week coming up with two 13 hr shifts, then a study day, one day off, then three 13 hr night shifts.. its just never ending!

It is frustrating that my partner only gets minimum wage, but I would never leave someone who I loved just because he didn't earn enough..

jennyc85

Tygermoth wrote: »

I was a nurse in what seems a different lifetime now.

I WAS just existing - I loved the job but it ate up my life (it was a high stress role with chronic under staffing)

When my OH said to me 'do you realise we have not had a day off together in 2 years' (he was NHS and shift worker too) I suddenly realised something needed to change. We were broke, sharing in crap accommodation, shattered all the time and were always being called in on short notice. Stress at work, stress at home.

However, rather than lose something I enjoyed and worked hard for I stubbornly refused to listen to myself and burned myself out.

Big Time.

Now I work 9-5 in a tame office job, I take night classes. I go to yoga. I see my friends and family. I have a more well rounded life (for disgustingly the same salary too)

Its not perfect - i have just been made redundant... again... but i still would never consider going back to nursing. The toll is just to great.*

I tip my hat to those that can and do.

*to be fair I cant anyway after having a head injury and having neurological damage and some associated disabilities

I fear I am heading for burn out... and what I hate most is that my patience is running so thin.. i'm so irritable all the time!

I'd love to able to do classes and things like that! Towards the end of last year I booked into a 6 week class, but then couldn't go to most of them as couldn't secure the evenings I needed off..

sillybilly2011

Can you reduce your hours in your permanent post ? And when you need the money, work on the bank?

I'm a nursing student and some nurses I have spoke to says it makes a lot of a difference having the one extra day off a week.

They also say working on the bank is so much better as they get a rest from there own work and their office 'politics' so makes your day so much easier!!

[Deleted User]

I too would be cautious about giving up a permanent job with a fixed monthly salary with good terms and conditions (maternity, pension, sick leave etc) for essentially the same work in different areas. You might get the benefit of having greater variety, but if you are only managing to make ends meet now with your salary what would you do on a bad month where there were few shifts available. If you are thinking about this seriously, then try talking to others in your trust that do this and see how frequent and reliable the shifts are? See how they manage? You could also supplement this with agency (better hourly rate, no benefits, and you most often need a car to travel, and be prepared to travel quite far for a shift!).

My suggestion would be to see what options there are by either progressing in your career, or taking a side step, without having to go backwards (ie give up permanent, full-time work).

Have you considered working in the private sector? What about clinical research? School nursing? Health visiting? practice nursing? Occupational health nursing? Community nursing? Explore all the options thoroughly before making any decisions.

lavandergirl_2

can you apply for a career break and go travelling?