Ever feel like you're just existing?

jennyc85

I think I may be having a bit of a life-crisis!

I am 27, live with my partner, no kids.. I have a good job as a hosptial nurse, but it rules my life.. and i'm at breaking point!

I feel like all I am doing is existing, working to pay the bills & either too skint or exhausted to do anything else.

I can't tell if how I am feeling is normal, or if I should knuckle down & be grateful for a stable job in these times :-/

I miss out on so many opportunities, as I can never get any leave when I need it. I just feel I am too young for this sort of existence

I am thinking about leaving and joining the nurse bank... it is a better hourly rate, you choose when you work, but there is no holiday or sick pay & no guarantee of work (although there are so many hours going you could work 24/7 if you wanted)...

I'd love to do some travelling, but I have already been told it is not possible to get more than 2 weeks in one go..

Surely there is more to life than this?!! I am starting to get scared that I am not getting any younger & would like to start a family at some point too..

Any wise old owls out there with some friendly advice? I feel so lost!!

Person_one

Do you actually enjoy your job? I'm afraid I feel pretty strongly that if your heart isn't in nursing and its just a job to you then you shouldn't be doing it.

If you do care about your job, but are just in need of a break or a change, then why not apply for other jobs? There's a nearly infinite amount of variety in nursing jobs, you could look for more 9-5 ones, or ones that will let you take bigger chunks of leave (I know several nurses who use all their annual leave in one go for travel so it is possible!)

I wouldn't rely on bank work if you want to start a family, NHS maternity benefits are rather good, you'll want those rather than the statutory rates!

jennyc85

I do enjoy the actual nursing, I just am sick of the system & that I cannot care for my patients the way I would like to due to appalling staffing levels & mounds of paperwork. The maternity benefits are why I am torn! But I don't know whether it's worth being so unhappy for something that may or may not happen at some point in the future...

Applying for more 9-5 jobs is an option.. I'm just starting to worry that i'm going to be stuck there for the summer, when every bit of leave I have applied for has been refused & I am set to miss out on so many experiences and life because of work.

Tropez

My partner went through something similar.

She was a nurse and eventually decided that although she loved the work and the rewarding feeling she got overall, the pressure of working in a hospital, long-hours and everything else were making her depressed as she realised her life revolved almost exclusively around her career. and she was also quite tired of having her hands tied on certain things.

She decided to save virtually all of her money for a couple of years while studying in her free time for some further qualifications so that she could set up her own business, which she did, in a similar though not identical field. She still gets the positive feelings from her work but also positive feelings from being in control of herself and her life path.

She's spent the last year working in NZ (home end of this month, thankfully!) so has been able to see and live in a different country for a bit.

Not necessarily easily done, nor suitable for everyone, but if you want to change the path of your life you can do.

jennyc85

Thanks for the positive words, I'd love to do something like that... the problem is i'm a daydreamer & find it hard to put them into action! I've just had such a strong feeling recently that this really is it.. we only have one life.. no dressed rehersal.. and right now I am wasting it by just existing!

Person_one

If you want to travel, you're in the perfect job! You can take your nursing qualification all over the world. What does your partner do?

Fishingtime

I am in my mid 50's now
I have done many things in my time some good of which I can be proud of, and some bad which I am ashamed of.

I too feel that I am now just existing and I am wondering if I should just be my old self ?

I never used to worry about things like I do now, and I did enjoy things.
But lately I am thinking is this it, Is this all I have to look forward too.

God shoot me

jennyc85

He works in a warehouse for minimum wage..

I think what i'm really searching for is freedom.. to not feel trapped.. but you also need money to be free (plane tickets aren't cheap!)..

Person_one

jennyc85 wrote: »

He works in a warehouse for minimum wage..

I think what i'm really searching for is freedom.. to not feel trapped.. but you also need money to be free (plane tickets aren't cheap!)..

I'm afraid hardly anybody has complete 'freedom'! We all have to work if we want a home, food, bills paid, a few luxuries etc.

Buy a lottery ticket and hope for the best?

jennyc85

I don't mind working! but all work and no play is very depressing.. I just wonder if leaving my permanent job for agency/bank work will either be the best thing I have ever done or the most stupid

view

Maybe you could change your nurse placement - community nurse or practice nurse? You're young, sorry to say but you've at least 30 years ahead of you workwise (probably!) so you've the luxury of time. You can change things to make you happier. It may be that you keep doing what you're doing but change your attitude (sorry, don't mean that rudely!) just to more of a positive slant.

What do you do in your spare time? Perhaps you could find more things to keep you happier and interest you there. Not prying, but are paying back debt? Just that it can feel like a never ending work, pay bills, work pay bills but you will get there. I felt like this in 2007 and could never imagine having nearly paid everything off 'in the future 2013' but I'm nearly there.

I get bored quite easily and have to plan things in the future all the time to keep me feeling like I'm not just existing. I do know how you feel (although I'm in older in my mid to latish 30's). Sometimes with the in and out of every day you can feel like you're in a rut. Sounds like you just need change.

See what changes you can make, they don't have to be big and earth shattering. You don't need a lot of money to go on smaller trips - put a bit of money aside each pay and go for a dinner bed and breakfast at a hotel when they have a sale on sort of thing. Just to feel like you're doing less than mundane things.

Wish you all the best.