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another "old friend" thread

124

Comments

  • michelle2008
    michelle2008 Posts: 601 Forumite
    Sorry but this lady doesn't like you. It's like that film 'he's just not that into you'. Move on.
  • Ladyhawk
    Ladyhawk Posts: 2,064 Forumite
    Sorry but this lady doesn't like you. It's like that film 'he's just not that into you'. Move on.

    I know... But for once I wanted to not be a nasty, evil b itch. I am very good at that but I want to be grown up and respond in a mature manner which says stop wasting my time.
    Man plans and God laughs...
    Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry. But by demonstrating that all people cry, laugh, eat, worry and die, it introduces the idea that if we try to understand each other, we may even become friends.
  • Errata
    Errata Posts: 38,230 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Looking at the examples given, the woman isn't a friend she's an acquaintance.
    .................:)....I'm smiling because I have no idea what's going on ...:)
  • claire16c
    claire16c Posts: 7,074 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    To me, sending out an invite 3 weeks before any wedding, let alone one on the other side of the world makes me think she forgot to invite you in the first place and then remembered and felt bad about it so sent one.

    So I wouldnt be worrying too much about any further contact especially if shes let you down in the past too. Just dont contact her anymore.
  • duchy
    duchy Posts: 19,511 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker Xmas Saver!
    How do you define "friend" ?

    In all honesty nothing at any point in your interactions come across as more than an aquaintance.

    Do you know her life history, worry about her when things are tough and celebrate with her when things are good .............or do you just know her ?
    I Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole

    MSE Florida wedding .....no problem
  • Ladyhawk
    Ladyhawk Posts: 2,064 Forumite
    duchy wrote: »
    Do you know her life history, worry about her when things are tough and celebrate with her when things are good .............or do you just know her ?

    Yes, I know her life history and that of her family. I have worried in the past about her and her sisters (two of them are anorexic and one nearly died as a result). We spent ages coming up with the name for her business. I know some of her deepest secrets.

    But she has not been a friend to me, though did give me help when I was struggling with work (she works in HR). But in recent years she has not been a friend to me.

    She responded to my email, saying that she had told me the dates a long time in advance of the wedding. Maybe she did, maybe she didn't... but I don't recall this. But this is not about the wedding, this is about a long friendship (however you want to define it) which is coming to its natural conclusion. I don't bare her any ill feeling, but I don't need people in my life who are flakey like she is. I haven't responded to the second message.
    Man plans and God laughs...
    Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry. But by demonstrating that all people cry, laugh, eat, worry and die, it introduces the idea that if we try to understand each other, we may even become friends.
  • michelle2008
    michelle2008 Posts: 601 Forumite
    Keep answers short and distant. You have been very well thank you - hope all is well.

    No questions, no need for her to respond. Send it then don't think about it again.
  • michelle2008
    michelle2008 Posts: 601 Forumite
    Keep answers short and distant. You have been very well thank you - hope all is well.

    No questions, no need for her to respond. Send it then don't think about it again.

    Scrap that. Just say there has been a misunderstanding and you wish her well. No need to invest any more emotions
  • Person_one
    Person_one Posts: 28,884 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Ladyhawk wrote: »

    She responded to my email, saying that she had told me the dates a long time in advance of the wedding. Maybe she did, maybe she didn't... but I don't recall this. But this is not about the wedding, this is about a long friendship (however you want to define it) which is coming to its natural conclusion. I don't bare her any ill feeling, but I don't need people in my life who are flakey like she is. I haven't responded to the second message.


    Maybe it is just the natural end, but I think you should accept your share of the responsibility for that. If it wasn't about the wedding, why bring it up at all? You don't sound very sure about whether you knew the wedding dates or not...
  • duchy
    duchy Posts: 19,511 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker Xmas Saver!
    See if my good friend told me her wedding date I'd definitely remember she had told me......It's an important thing between friends ....and you don't even remember if she told you or not ????

    I'm starting to think she may not be the only one without a good friend star rating !
    I Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole

    MSE Florida wedding .....no problem
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