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another "old friend" thread
Comments
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Just as a matter of interest, did you give a reason as to why you didn't go to her wedding or did you just say sorry can't come?
If you don't want to appear the bovine but want to let her know why you didn't go then tell her!
Doesn't have to be rude just something along the lines of would have loved to have come but couldn't afford the last minute air fare
Or could it be she assumed you knew you'd be invited and knew the date so would have booked early enough to get a cheap flight?2014 Target;
To overpay CC by £1,000.
Overpayment to date : £310
2nd Purse Challenge:
£15.88 saved to date0 -
I did write to say that I could go to the wedding because of the late notice. Am not sure if that email got through though.
I have now responded saying how disappointed I was to only get the invitation at the last minute. That I hoped that she was settling into married life. That things were good with me... Just very busy as I'm about to start a new job.
I do genuinely hope that she is happy but she's probably never really been a true friend whom I could rely on so I'll just keep her at arms length.Man plans and God laughs...Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry. But by demonstrating that all people cry, laugh, eat, worry and die, it introduces the idea that if we try to understand each other, we may even become friends.0 -
^Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »She's maintaining contact now...why are you cutting her off when she just starts to do what you want her to?
You may have missed this...Sanctimonious Veggie. GYO-er. Seed Saver. Get in.0 -
Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »^
You may have missed this...
No I didn't. She has let me down so often ( and I don't mean about the wedding abd the lack of contact) that I really can't be bothered.Man plans and God laughs...Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry. But by demonstrating that all people cry, laugh, eat, worry and die, it introduces the idea that if we try to understand each other, we may even become friends.0 -
I did write to say that I could go to the wedding because of the late notice. Am not sure if that email got through though.
I have now responded saying how disappointed I was to only get the invitation at the last minute. That I hoped that she was settling into married life. That things were good with me... Just very busy as I'm about to start a new job.
I do genuinely hope that she is happy but she's probably never really been a true friend whom I could rely on so I'll just keep her at arms length.
Well done, I am sure you will feel more settle now and can see how things work out in the next few weeks/months0 -
I do sometimes wonder when reading this kind of thread what sort of expectations the posters have of the friendship.
OP, I understand if you don't want to, but is there any chance you could be more specific about the ways in which she's let you down?0 -
You are right - she wanted to say she had invited you to the wedding but you weren't an important guest. Because you aren't really that close and your friendship has drifted - you possibly never really liked each other just were friends out of circumstance.
Let it go - most of us will have had friendships end over the years.0 -
Oh things like, when she left London she arranged drinks for her friends... Then promptly left us all to snog a random guy all night ( ie from 7.30 onwArds). I was supposed to be staying with her and each time I said I would prefer to go home she would burst into tears and say how much she would miss me.
I went home a couple months after that and stayed with her one night. We went out and she ignored us all, all night so I had hang out with her mates.
Another time I went home and we went to a BBQ together with her friends again.. And again she ignored me so I had o make small talk with her friends.
The last time I was home a mutual friend arrange for a group of us to go away for the weekend. She invited her and her then boyfriend along (which was fine!) but then was really difficult.
Last year she came over to the UK with her boyfriend for 3 weeks. I immediately said she could come and stay for however long she liked as I would have just moved into my new house and I was so excited that they were going to be my first guests. About a week before I sent her a BBM to ask which date they were arriving in London to which she replied that they had booked a B&B and paid up front so couldn't cancel (whAtever). Anyway they got engaged while they were here. Turns out that they were willing to come within 4 tube stops of where I live but didn't have time to see me.
Anyway I know these things aren't massive ( and tgere are a lot more instances) but they all indicate someone who doesn't value me as a friendMan plans and God laughs...Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry. But by demonstrating that all people cry, laugh, eat, worry and die, it introduces the idea that if we try to understand each other, we may even become friends.0 -
Um - have you ever considered yourself a little clingy?Sanctimonious Veggie. GYO-er. Seed Saver. Get in.0
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Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »Um - have you ever considered yourself a little clingy?
Um no - I see her one or two days every 12-18 months. I don't think it is unreasonable to actually spend time with my friend.Man plans and God laughs...Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry. But by demonstrating that all people cry, laugh, eat, worry and die, it introduces the idea that if we try to understand each other, we may even become friends.0
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