emigrating to another country for better work life balance

underthesea

Thanks lostinrates. It's great to here from someone who's been and done it. It confirms what i've read and seen when i've done my own research on the reality of the grid.

As for quitting my own business, if i have to face knowing i will be in the hamster wheel forever then i'd go mad. I guess the answer is all along is there is no answer to people in this situation

ash28

musioman wrote: »

Had anyone made the move to a less developed country? All big cities are the similar.

My brother moved to Belize a few years ago, along with his wife and 2 of his 3 grown up children.

They had an income already (forces pension) and money behind them. The forces pension will go up considerably when he reaches 55 - it stays the same until then.

They bought a plot of land (30 acres) and (with paid help) built a house - they live off grid, their electricity is solar, which gives them everything but airconditioning and they use fans for that. The land also needed to be cleared.

The original intention was to become self sufficient and grow corn on their 30 acres. However the weather for the first few years and their inexperience meant they produced nothing they could sell.

Money became an issue - as their £700 a month income dropped in value quite a lot - they use Belizian dollars out there and it's linked to the US dollar 2 for 1. And as sterling fell so did their income and it wasn't enough to keep 4 adults. They used all of their savings and the proceeds from the sale of their house in the UK.

The upshot was that my brother came home for a couple of years and worked his backside off to be able to keep his family in Belize. They told their 2 sons they would have to get the money to be able to keep themselves in Belize - so they came back to the UK too. They weren't allowed to work (paid or unpaid) in Belize unless they had their own business and they didn't have the money to be able to do that and coupled with the need to pay for visa renewals every month until they had residency (US $25 a month for 6 months and then US $50 for 6 months) and they would be able to work meant my brother and his wife couldn't afford to keep them.

The boys came back to the UK too, one worked (the eldest) and saved his money and the other met someone here and is now married and living here.

The eldest is now back in Belize and has residency which allows him to work, he works for himself doing building work for expats - his experience was gained during the build of the family home. I don't know what kind of income he makes.

All I would say is don't swap one form of stress for another - the grass is not always greener and the issues you have here will be issues you will more than likely take with you where ever you go.

Unless you have money behind you or a guaranteed income stream I wouldn't contemplate moving overseas in the hope that you will be able to live a stress free life - because the chances are you won't.

We moved to a rural area a couple of years ago to get away from the south east - we were able to take early retirement and were also able to pay cash for our house. We have absolutely no regrets, we have less money but in the main have lower outgoings - with the exception of heating - which is oil plus an open fire and it is not cheap. We still have 2 cars because there is no public transport and we tend not to do everything together. Yesterday our neighbour brought us round a dozen eggs her hens had laid......next time I bake I will take her some homemade bread and biscuits....if we run out of anything I know I can knock on a neighbour's door and if they have it I will be able to borrow it....during the bad weather the four wheel drive owners will ferry people about to the doctors or where ever and will make sure everyone has food.....it's a different way of life and not stress free by any means - the stresses are there just different.

persa

As has already been said, the only thing different about living abroad is the weather. You trade one set of problems for another - plus with a wife and kids, you can't just up sticks and see what happens - you need to be sure the move is a good one.

If you are not earning your fortune in the UK, doing the same work in a country where you have limited language skills is not going to improve your earning potential.

Back to reality. Where in London do you live? Are you already in one of the cheaper parts, or could you move? Hard to downsize/relocate with kids, but some parts of London are surprisingly good value and might allow you to cut your commuting time.

What's your commute like? Is it a nice easy one, or one where your face is in someone else's armpit? Can you change your working hours to miss peak traffic? If you have a long commute, can you turn it into you time? I don't enjoy watching films or reading on my way in, but I do surf the internet on the tube and listen to music. On the way back, I might be inclined to read something. Any chance you can 'take back' your travel time and actually enjoy it?

What do you do? I think you said it wasn't massively physical, so is it something you can do from home, even if just one day a week, with the other four in the office?

Being employed and self employed. What are the prospects in both? Is this a long term thing, holding down two types of work?

You talk about money being tight, so paying for a cleaner isn't going to be an option, but depending on your children's ages, could you and other parents take it in turns to host sleepovers from time to time? Could family have the kids for an overnight visit every so often? Might be beneficial for all of you - a night off for you, a special trip for them.

How do you split the housework? Are you batch cooking? It's a pain to make all that extra food on one day, label and freeze it, but when you're too dog tired to cook and can defrost one you made earlier, it really pays off.

What about your wife's job? What's her earning potential? If one of you can realistically strive for promotion, in the far away future, one of you may be able to cut hours and help out at home more, balancing the shared workload a bit better.

DKLS

Just remember that the grass isnt always greener BUT it is different grass.
I know a few couples who have escaped the rat race and chosen a different lifestyle overseas. Some have made a success of it, some have come back to the UK and had to start all over again.

piglet74

I agree with Collect, you don't have to move far to have a better lifestyle.

I moved a mile for one :-)

I was paying an outrageous mortgage on a basic house and working 2 jobs (one 9 / 5, one evenings and weekends) to just live and no more, had no landline, no sky tv etc, couldn't afford it,

I sold the house, I am now renting just around the corner, and I haven't had to work my part time job since, if I do happen to want to pick up a few shifts, I will put the ££ into my holiday fund and not need it just to make ends meet

I hope it all works out for you, because I really do know what you mean, working all the time just to survive is no fun or no life for anyone

Hope it all works out for you.

motherofstudents

Now I know what living 'off grid' means. I know you are thinking of moving abroad but would you consider just moving away from London ? Could you get another job in another part of the country where you will not have a big commute, house prices will be cheaper etc ? Even if you couldn't manage to be totally self-sufficient, maybe you could grow some food, have chickens etc?

I do understand how you feel about the work/life balance but don't despair, you are trying to find a way to improve your quality of life and if you are serious about it, you will do it. Please do share what you decide to do.

ognum

persa wrote: »

As has already been said, the only thing different about living abroad is the weather. You trade one set of problems for another - plus with a wife and kids, you can't just up sticks and see what happens - you need to be sure the move is a good one.

If you are not earning your fortune in the UK, doing the same work in a country where you have limited language skills is not going to improve your earning potential.

Back to reality. Where in London do you live? Are you already in one of the cheaper parts, or could you move? Hard to downsize/relocate with kids, but some parts of London are surprisingly good value and might allow you to cut your commuting time.

What's your commute like? Is it a nice easy one, or one where your face is in someone else's armpit? Can you change your working hours to miss peak traffic? If you have a long commute, can you turn it into you time? I don't enjoy watching films or reading on my way in, but I do surf the internet on the tube and listen to music. On the way back, I might be inclined to read something. Any chance you can 'take back' your travel time and actually enjoy it?

What do you do? I think you said it wasn't massively physical, so is it something you can do from home, even if just one day a week, with the other four in the office?

Being employed and self employed. What are the prospects in both? Is this a long term thing, holding down two types of work?

You talk about money being tight, so paying for a cleaner isn't going to be an option, but depending on your children's ages, could you and other parents take it in turns to host sleepovers from time to time? Could family have the kids for an overnight visit every so often? Might be beneficial for all of you - a night off for you, a special trip for them.

How do you split the housework? Are you batch cooking? It's a pain to make all that extra food on one day, label and freeze it, but when you're too dog tired to cook and can defrost one you made earlier, it really pays off.

What about your wife's job? What's her earning potential? If one of you can realistically strive for promotion, in the far away future, one of you may be able to cut hours and help out at home more, balancing the shared workload a bit better.

I have lived on and off on a small Caribbean island, if ever someone thought about doing something like this they should rent a home and try it out, it is not always what it is cracked up to be!!

yes the weather is good but if can also be awful. When a hurricaine is looming and the winds get up you wish you were somewhere else, hurricaine insurance is also enormous, we pay nearly £3000 per year for ours!

Most people who come to work on a small island full time make no pension arrangement, they have to work until they drop or they don't eat. There is a saying that the only way to leave with a million pounds is to come with three!

The health care is basic, not what you would want for you and yours, private health care is expensive.

Food is expensive, I once found a woman (new expat) sobbing in a supermarket because she wanted a cauliflower for a receipe. here you learn not to plan but to eat what is available when you shop. If a container ship hasn't arrived you do without until it does. It's a change of attitude.

Sometimes we have power, sometimes we don't. We live with no power until we really need to turn our generator on. we have no a/c, power is very very expensive, wind is free.

Water doesn't run all the time, we store water in a large cistern if you haven't got one you have no water until its turned on again.

Alcolhol is the friend of many here, I know of more people with liver problems here than in the UK, there are not too many other distractions, I don't drink having seen the effects, I'm considered a bit strange.

So those are the negatives, the positives are the sea is blue and warm, if things are good the living is easy. It a gentle way of life and when the going is tough people pull together.

Would I build a home in the sun again, I don't know, but life is a journey, everyone needs experiences, that's what stops the daily grind. Take any opportunities you have!

ms_london

ognum wrote: »

I have lived on and off on a small Caribbean island, if ever someone thought about doing something like this they should rent a home and try it out, it is not always what it is cracked up to be!!

yes the weather is good but if can also be awful. When a hurricaine is looming and the winds get up you wish you were somewhere else, hurricaine insurance is also enormous, we pay nearly £3000 per year for ours!

Most people who come to work on a small island full time make no pension arrangement, they have to work until they drop or they don't eat. There is a saying that the only way to leave with a million pounds is to come with three!

The health care is basic, not what you would want for you and yours, private health care is expensive.

Food is expensive, I once found a woman (new expat) sobbing in a supermarket because she wanted a cauliflower for a receipe. here you learn not to plan but to eat what is available when you shop. If a container ship hasn't arrived you do without until it does. It's a change of attitude.

Sometimes we have power, sometimes we don't. We live with no power until we really need to turn our generator on. we have no a/c, power is very very expensive, wind is free.

Water doesn't run all the time, we store water in a large cistern if you haven't got one you have no water until its turned on again.

Alcolhol is the friend of many here, I know of more people with liver problems here than in the UK, there are not too many other distractions, I don't drink having seen the effects, I'm considered a bit strange.

So those are the negatives, the positives are the sea is blue and warm, if things are good the living is easy. It a gentle way of life and when the going is tough people pull together.

Would I build a home in the sun again, I don't know, but life is a journey, everyone needs experiences, that's what stops the daily grind. Take any opportunities you have!

Out of interest, which island? I am considering moving to the Cayman Islands, just for the experience, not for good.

FBaby

I know exactly how you feel and me and my partner have been through the exact same questions. In the end, this is what I concluded:
- what makes me feel utterly exhausted, affecting my social life, is not the amount of work and commuting, it is the stress that goes with it. My job in the past 3 years has been extremely demanding, the equivalent of what used to be 2 1/2 posts. I had to juggle thoughts from the moment I got there to the moment I left with not one break to rest my brain! Then of course, it takes over outside of work to, and then even at night. It was all the thinking required of the job that left me a wreck. In the past couple of months, my workload has gone down and I am starting to have more control over it. I haven't felt so energetic for years! I knew it was directly link with work because I always felt a million time better during the holidays, even with full on days with the kids.

We thought of moving away, starting our own business, having more time to have fun together, but the reality is very different. To work abroad in a country you don't speak the language, you are limited by what you do and most likely will have to look into self-employment. This makes you very vulnerable, in a country you don't speak the language and more important know the many rules all countries have. It is easy to forget that one job can be very stressful from its demand, but that a non secure job provides as much stress when the money doesn't come in regularly. The stress of not knowing how the rent is going to be paid and dealing with debts is not less restful than work stress.

Also, we had to be honest with each other and question whether we would all get along so well if we spend so much more time together! My partner and I get along fantastically, but I have to admit that it is because we don't spend that much time together! I think if we did, we would be much more likely to bicker and disagree on things. Quantity is not always better than quality.

Also, it is important to take kids into consideration. Depending on their age, they might not enjoy that spending more time with family but less with friend offer! My kids got used to our buzzing life and enjoy being British. I think they would most likely adapt quite easily, but I don't think they would want to at all to start with.

As said before, it is easy to assume life is so much pleasant elsewhere, however, in most places where business is more likely to be available it is also more likely that you would experience similar frustrations.

Some people have made it work for them, but that was much before the recession when work was available and investments could be made. I think most places you could chose now would offer a very different lifestyle.

tonyhamm

I agree with what people have stated again and again here.
The major stress factors are: -
1. A demanding job, which requires you to be thinking about work a lot of the time.
2. Commuting over 40mins each way.
3. Inept management on top or/and a highly political work enviroment.

Having a combination of 2 of these 3 means, you should get out start looking for other opportunities as you will soon face burn out.