emigrating to another country for better work life balance

nickj_2

i know someone in the next village from me who worked in london , not quite sure what he did but it involved commuting everyday , he got made redundant and is now a chimney sweep , i guess you have to weigh up , if you have a good job it can buy you a good lifestyle , nice house , holidays , car etc etc , but then you will probably have the loss of time spent with family , stress , etc commuting , at the end of the day , you can't buy time with your family , you only have that once , once your kids have grown up that's it .

meer53

claire16c wrote: »

Maybe that's why you're tired then! As you're sort of working a 6 day week.

So you either accept that a new business is going to take up a lot of time & effort at least for a while or you quit it & just do your 40 hours.

If you're working 40 hours & are really that stressed maybe try to find a job closer to home to cut out travelling time. And like others have said see a dr as its not normal to be that exhausted.

The OP hasn't actually said they're exhausted, just that they feel they don't have enough personal time and would like to laze about at weekends.

I was also going to ask about the OP's partners opinions as they haven't mentioned this at all. Wonder how they feel about the OP's weekend lifestyle preferences and thoughts about moving to another country ?

shirlgirl2004

I think you'd be surprised that if you cut your working hours down/work closer to home how much you can save monetarily. If you work less hours you have the time and energy to do the DIY rather than getting a man that can. You save on expensive commuting costs and save the time commuting.

Supporting one's family has always entailed long hours for the majority, I really don't think that has changed. What has changed is that benefits allow some people to work shorter hours and therefore those working traditionally long hours feel hard done by.

I think the idealistic answer would be to live off grid but that is easier to say than do. Who said life was easy though?

Dunroamin

musioman wrote: »

Had anyone made the move to a less developed country? All big cities are the similar.

What skills do you have to earn a living in a less developed country; what languages do you speak?

(What do you actually mean by a "less developed country" anyway?)

time2deal

I'm Australian and live in London. I'd love to go back to Oz, but in reality it is far too expensive now. The property market has gone mad - both renting and buying.

I have friends there who live on the Central coast (North of Sydney) in a beautiful house on a stunning beach - BUT they both looked so stressed when I saw them at Christmas it was unbelievable. One partner had to commute to Sydney, about 3 hours driving a day, and she never saw the kids except on the weekend, including a very small baby. Maternity leave is poor so as the higher earner she had to go back to work.

Husband also struggling to get work. It was a real eye opener on the grass not always being greener!

However, we are planning to go in the next 2 years. We are saving like mad, and watching the London property market hopefully (we own our flat), and praying for an improvement in the exchange rate. My job, in financial services, is much lower paid in Australia, so we need to plan for a drop in income, while having higher outgoings. It's possible as we will have family support, but still tight.

I'm really hoping I can find something to change to - which allows us enough income, less hours, and enjoy life. I've recently gone through cancer treatment, and I think that has really opened our eyes to the idea that we have to find a way to make the changes we want. Life really can be short...

Brighton_belle

Here's an article in todays guardian about living off grid in this country:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2013/mar/29/homes-land-and-freedom

Does this sort of set up appeal to you: they seem to have the work/life balance you long for.

elsien

Sometimes making the effort to do more can motivate you and make you feel less stressed.
6 months ago I was working full time with lots of overtime and spending hours caring for/visiting an elderly relative. Plus all the usual looking after the house, dog walking etc. I was on the go all the time.
Then the dog and the relative died and I put my foot down about the extra hours at work. So lots of time for idling and lazing around. Which made me feel worse - slumped in front of the tv or with a book, feeling like I was not getting anywhere or doing anything. Everything taking longer because there was no rush so I ended up feeling as if I had less time then before when life really was hectic.
So now on my days off I make the effort to get together with friends or relatives. Or to do something I enjoy which involves a bit of effort and getting out of the house. And quite often when I have to get up, I wish I hadn't bothered and would kill for a day at home. But at the end of the day I'm always glad I did something, because I feel better for it.
So in my book, however much or little time you have, it's only going to feel like a decent balance if you actually do something constructive with it. Generally speaking on rare my veg out days, I end up feeling worse by doing nothing.

Mrs_Imp

What elsien said. I always feel better if I've made the effort to do something rather than just sit around. It also makes the days when I do just stay at home a bit more relaxing.

Go and feed the ducks, do some gardening, take the kids to the park (weather permitting), take them to a museum, do baking. It'll help you relax to get out and about, otherwise all you see is the 4 walls at work, the 4 walls at home and the inside of the vehicle you commute in. That's enough to make anyone feel rubbish, without taking in to account lack of natural light and vitamin D.

underthesea

Will try to get back to everyone and thank you all for the help and suggestions!

Person_one wrote: »

How would your partner and children feel about moving to a less developed country? Is this something you've talked about with them?

Yes, we would both move if it meant we could live a simpler life and have more time together. We don't have much as we can't afford things here and we don't want much anyway so why not have the ultimate thing money can't buy which is time. She works FT too on shifts.

claire16c wrote: »

Maybe that's why you're tired then! As you're sort of working a 6 day week.

So you either accept that a new business is going to take up a lot of time & effort at least for a while or you quit it & just do your 40 hours.

If you're working 40 hours & are really that stressed maybe try to find a job closer to home to cut out travelling time. And like others have said see a dr as its not normal to be that exhausted.

It's a contradiction.
I have to accept it will take time to work on the business because of the hours i'm putting in.
I have to accept i'm exhausted mentally & have no personal time because i'm constantly working.
Thanks though as maybe that just is the reality

meer53 wrote: »

The OP hasn't actually said they're exhausted, just that they feel they don't have enough personal time and would like to laze about at weekends.

I was also going to ask about the OP's partners opinions as they haven't mentioned this at all. Wonder how they feel about the OP's weekend lifestyle preferences and thoughts about moving to another country ?

When you work too much the mental stress of it all can make you exhausted.

Wife would like to move. She works shifts and doesn't like it as we never see each other and can never do anything together (such as go and buy food)

shirlgirl2004 wrote: »

Supporting one's family has always entailed long hours for the majority, I really don't think that has changed. What has changed is that benefits allow some people to work shorter hours and therefore those working traditionally long hours feel hard done by.

I think the idealistic answer would be to live off grid but that is easier to say than do. Who said life was easy though?

Agree!

Dunroamin wrote: »

What skills do you have to earn a living in a less developed country; what languages do you speak?

(What do you actually mean by a "less developed country" anyway?)

Less developed means 'not another big city' as they are all the same or aspiring to be the same.

time2deal wrote: »

I'm Australian and live in London. I'd love to go back to Oz, but in reality it is far too expensive now. The property market has gone mad - both renting and buying.

I have friends there who live on the Central coast (North of Sydney) in a beautiful house on a stunning beach - BUT they both looked so stressed when I saw them at Christmas it was unbelievable. One partner had to commute to Sydney, about 3 hours driving a day, and she never saw the kids except on the weekend, including a very small baby. Maternity leave is poor so as the higher earner she had to go back to work.

Husband also struggling to get work. It was a real eye opener on the grass not always being greener!

However, we are planning to go in the next 2 years. We are saving like mad, and watching the London property market hopefully (we own our flat), and praying for an improvement in the exchange rate. My job, in financial services, is much lower paid in Australia, so we need to plan for a drop in income, while having higher outgoings. It's possible as we will have family support, but still tight.

I'm really hoping I can find something to change to - which allows us enough income, less hours, and enjoy life. I've recently gone through cancer treatment, and I think that has really opened our eyes to the idea that we have to find a way to make the changes we want. Life really can be short...

I hope for you and I both. Hang in there! Life is too short and I agree, why spend it living on the edge when time ticks away.

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Here's an article in todays guardian about living off grid in this country:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2013/mar/29/homes-land-and-freedom

Does this sort of set up appeal to you: they seem to have the work/life balance you long for.

That really does appeal! Although most of the people i've read about live in much tougher conditions.. (just one step up from homelessness) I'm going to read up on more of this life.

lostinrates

musioman wrote: »

That really does appeal! Although most of the people i've read about live in much tougher conditions.. (just one step up from homelessness) I'm going to read up on more of this life.

They make it sound quite easy in that article.

We do not live off grid, but we have small holding. Putting aside anything ethical about keeping one cow, that one cow needs your attention on her timetable not yours. My husband and I had food poisoning on Saturday evening/ yesterday. The animals still needed doing, s
Despite the fact we could barely leave he house or move.

If you cannot get wood you freeze...our sitting room was 9.5 degrees yesterday.

Some realities of life cannot be put off even off grid.

As for emigrating.....I have lived in a lot of places and actively chose UK. It might not be forever, but very few places are as 'safe' as UK for back up like healthcare. It's all very well not relying on money and income till one of you has a serious disease and has not got the savings for adaquate medical care. Or when you child decides uk university and career is for them, and you two cannot afford to travel to visit.

Being exhausted and 'hamster on a wheel' is terrible, I think most can identify with it.
Fwiw a friend of mine recently reduced her outgoings and dropped working to nine out of ten days, the long weekend every second week has changed her outlook for the better. BUT if you outgoings are such that you need you second job as well as your full time one this seems unrealistic. Would you be prepared to drop your self employed job?