harassment spiralled out of control

mountainofdebt

Thomas_Hardy wrote: »

You've just lost any respect you had from me. Shame on you for threatening to out someone, absolutely disgusting behaviour.

I'm still amazed at this comment - do people still really think like that?

Well in fairness I don't think the OP said she would but the fact that she given gave a nano seconds thought to this idea means I've lost any sympathy I might have had for her as well.

I also think you were vindictive to drop your co-worker in it.

tbh I would be thankful if you walk away with a neutral reference but I doubt you'd keep your job

SuzyZ

gb12345 wrote: »

Don't be an idiot.

Do you really think that being gay will destroy his career?

What will happen is that you will find yourself in prison for blackmail and then unable to get a job in future due to having a criminal record.

Actually my neighbour suggested this (threatening to out him) and where did I say I thought it was bad that he was gay?! I just mentioned it. I was more shocked my colleague told me but whatever.

SuzyZ

dandelionclock30 wrote: »

.

No it wouldn't, this isn't the dark ages you know, nobody gives a stuff whos gay or whos had anal sex. The press wouldn't be interested as its a non story.
I think you need to move on from there as your time there is over. They are under no obligation to give you any reference.You may just get a statement of dates.
your not going to be able to go down any unfair dismissal route if you have sworn because that is a sackable offence anyway.

At last someone who gives me proper advice thank you

Thomas_Hardy

SuzyZ wrote: »

Actually my neighbour suggested this (threatening to out him) and where did I say I thought it was bad that he was gay?! I just mentioned it. I was more shocked my colleague told me but whatever.

Are you for real? Surely someone cannot be quite so ignorant.

Why do you think a newspaper would give a damn if a solicitor is gay, or that someone has had anal sex?

gb12345

SuzyZ wrote: »

Actually my neighbour suggested this (threatening to out him) and where did I say I thought it was bad that he was gay?! I just mentioned it. I was more shocked my colleague told me but whatever.

So your neighbour is an idiot for suggesting you blackmail someone and you are an even bigger one for posting the fact all over the Web.

I wouldn't take any more advice from that neighbour if I was you - I don't think he's dealing from a full deck.

SuzyZ

mountainofdebt wrote: »

Well in fairness I don't think the OP said she would but the fact that she given gave a nano seconds thought to this idea means I've lost any sympathy I might have had for her as well.

I also think you were vindictive to drop your co-worker in it.

tbh I would be thankful if you walk away with a neutral reference but I doubt you'd keep your job

I was shocked by my colleague outing my boss. If she can tell me this about her boss then what else can she say?

I do not care what my boss does outside work.

Oh and yes I was vindictive but this colleague has been harassing and bullying me for best past 18 months.

I think I'll see a proper solicitor next time rather than relying on unqualified forum members.

SuzyZ

mountainofdebt wrote: »

Well in fairness I don't think the OP said she would but the fact that she given gave a nano seconds thought to this idea means I've lost any sympathy I might have had for her as well.

I also think you were vindictive to drop your co-worker in it.

tbh I would be thankful if you walk away with a neutral reference but I doubt you'd keep your job

I'll be really pleased to come back here and post if I do get a positive or neutral outcome.

mountainofdebt

SuzyZ wrote: »

I was shocked by my colleague outing my boss. If she can tell me this about her boss then what else can she say?

I do not care what my boss does outside work.

Oh and yes I was vindictive but this colleague has been harassing and bullying me for best past 18 months.

I think I'll see a proper solicitor next time rather than relying on unqualified forum members.

You don't get it do you?

Anyone can gossip about anyone else - its what you choose to do with that gossip that matters.

The only way your neighbour would know about the sexual preferences of your (ex?) boss is because you mentioned it. If you didn't care what he got up to you wouldn't have mentioned it.

At the end of the day I think you've played a risky game of who the boss believes - someone he's known for 20 odd years or someone who swore in front of a client, resigned and then decided she wasn't going to resign becuase she simply needed to pay the bills and then blabbed about his sexual preferences to outsiders and wants to take the very person who suggested blackmailing said boss into a meeting to discuss whether she has a job or not.

As I said in my opening post, eating humble pie is the way to go but hey what do I know ....

SuzyZ

gb12345 wrote: »

Don't be an idiot.

Do you really think that being gay will destroy his career?

What will happen is that you will find yourself in prison for blackmail and then unable to get a job in future due to having a criminal record.

Ok let's put it this way. I think my boss is scared about people knowing he's gay. This is going on what his friend/secretary tells me.

His sex life is his business but I'm more shocked someone I knew a few months told me this and other facts re my boss. This was info I really didn't want to hear and told her so. She carried on giving me bits of info. It was only after I told her that I didn't think our boss would like what she said that she shut up.

SuzyZ

mountainofdebt wrote: »

You don't get it do you?

Anyone can gossip about anyone else - its what you choose to do with that gossip that matters.

The only way your neighbour would know about the sexual preferences of your (ex?) boss is because you mentioned it. If you didn't care what he got up to you wouldn't have mentioned it.

At the end of the day I think you've played a risky game of who the boss believes - someone he's known for 20 odd years or someone who swore in front of a client, resigned and then decided she wasn't going to resign becuase she simply needed to pay the bills and then blabbed about his sexual preferences to outsiders and wants to take the very person who suggested blackmailing said boss into a meeting to discuss whether she has a job or not.

As I said in my opening post, eating humble pie is the way to go but hey what do I know ....

Where have I blabbed about his sexual preference to outsiders?