leaving children on their own?

poet123

zagfles wrote: »

Ooh, OK if we're playing "assume the emotion", then I'd say you're jealous that FBaby and I have kids who were mature enough to be left alone at 9

Then you would be wrong, nor do I think I have ever given that impression. And what is Person One's motivation for thinking the same thing? Still, I suppose you need to clutch at all the straws you can get!!;):rotfl:

maddeningly

In my opinion a 9 year old is too young to be left alone and an 11 year old is too young to be responsible for another child. When I was growing up the general rule of thumb was you could be left alone once you started secondary school (anything from just turned 11 to nearly 12). This was the age that we were left alone for a few hours and started to be allowed to get the bus into town. We started to babysit at around 13 or 14 and by this age well had the knowledge of what to do in an emergency. I know this worked for me and will certainly follow suit when my children are older

moneysaymoneydo

I just find it incredibly sad the justifications, "oh my child is so mature and loves being given that responsibility", yes until it goes TU, 9 times out of ten they will be safe but there is the odd freak accident you read of in the paper, but if work or any other matter that takes you to actually leaving the child in such situations then clearly that comes way up in the priorities than actually thinking what could happen. Would we leave child in car without seat belt because we had driven car for 30 years without an accident and was the best driver ever. Hindsight is a wonderful thing but tragic after some silly mistake has occurred. I would ask the Mccanns if they would now leave their twins in the same situation as they left Madeiline (for whatever reason they did and i am not judging them, they live with their choice they choise then every single waking second im sure) but surely to god you think more of your kids than leaving them home alone, most normal human beings dont leave their dog alone for that long, mature, sensible blah blah blah shame on you unfit parents should be taken off you!

thorsoak

moneysaymoneydo wrote: »

I just find it incredibly sad the justifications, "oh my child is so mature and loves being given that responsibility", yes until it goes TU, 9 times out of ten they will be safe but there is the odd freak accident you read of in the paper, but if work or any other matter that takes you to actually leaving the child in such situations then clearly that comes way up in the priorities than actually thinking what could happen. Would we leave child in car without seat belt because we had driven car for 30 years without an accident and was the best driver ever. Hindsight is a wonderful thing but tragic after some silly mistake has occurred. I would ask the Mccanns if they would now leave their twins in the same situation as they left Madeiline (for whatever reason they did and i am not judging them, they live with their choice they choise then every single waking second im sure) but surely to god you think more of your kids than leaving them home alone, most normal human beings dont leave their dog alone for that long, mature, sensible blah blah blah shame on you unfit parents should be taken off you!

How judgmental! I hope that you never ever find yourself in a situation when you have to decide whether or not you keep a roof over your children's heads and food in their bellies.


It's only three generations from clogs to clogs.....

moneysaymoneydo

As pointed out blame the kid, they needed fed i was doing it for their sakes. Who else would put food on the table? in this case the OP had a OT - hmm then again he was only 15 mins drive away how reassuring!

Next you will be saying going out at night leaving kids to prostitute to feed them is ok, god excuses for our own choices, shame poor left alone kids dont have such choices for human rights of being cared for properly not left like a pet at home doors locked waiting for mum to return if she can be bothered!

Just curious if kids can be left at 9 then what age can they be dumped overnight?

poet123

thorsoak wrote: »

How judgmental! I hope that you never ever find yourself in a situation when you have to decide whether or not you keep a roof over your children's heads and food in their bellies.


It's only three generations from clogs to clogs.....

You cannot seriously equate the need people have today (with the safety net of the welfare state) to the need of the previous generations? As you so eloquently said, your mothers experiences coloured her parenting, and she jumped the other way based on them. Why would that be?

It may only be three generations, but we have moved on, for the better and everyone has choices which mean they need not leave their children in circumstances such as were endured by previous generations. That is a good thing, and using what has gone before to justify doing it today is to negate the real hardship/angst those women endured.

thorsoak

I know I'm talking about what happened almost 100 years ago, but then, my grandmother - an orphan - was left destitute when her husband, my grandfather was posted missing, presumed dead in France during WWI. No widow's pension then, because he was "missing" - any anomolies would be sorted out after the end of hostilities. She would not have been alone in these circumstances - her only other option was to place her children in the workhouse/orphanage - and as she had grown up there, she did not wish her children to have the same upbringing. So, like many others, her 6 year old daughter (my mother) had to get her 3 younger siblings up, dressed, give them breakfast, get them to school, come home and cook a meal on a coal fired range.

I'm not advocating this - what I am saying is, people do what they have to do!

(PS - Grandpa did come back home at the end of the war!)

With the changes to the welfare state, this sort of thing could come back -and it is only 3 generations from clogs to clogs!

poet123

thorsoak wrote: »

I know I'm talking about what happened almost 100 years ago, but then, my grandmother - an orphan - was left destitute when her husband, my grandfather was posted missing, presumed dead in France during WWI. No widow's pension then, because he was "missing" - any anomolies would be sorted out after the end of hostilities. She would not have been alone in these circumstances - her only other option was to place her children in the workhouse/orphanage - and as she had grown up there, she did not wish her children to have the same upbringing. So, like many others, her 6 year old daughter (my mother) had to get her 3 younger siblings up, dressed, give them breakfast, get them to school, come home and cook a meal on a coal fired range.

I'm not advocating this - what I am saying is, people do what they have to do!

(PS - Grandpa did come back home at the end of the war!)

With the changes to the welfare state, this sort of thing could come back -and it is only 3 generations from clogs to clogs!

The ones who are doing this on this thread are ( according to them) not doing it from "necessity" but from choice. So, saying people do what they have to do is not applicable in this case, they are doing what they want to do....which is leaving nine year olds home alone to ostensibly help their maturity and make them more responsible.

I wonder what your relatives take on that would be given their lack of choice?

Dunroamin

poet123 wrote: »

?

It may only be three generations, but we have moved on, for the better and everyone has choices which mean they need not leave their children in circumstances such as were endured by previous generations. That is a good thing, and using what has gone before to justify doing it today is to negate the real hardship/angst those women endured.

I wish I could be so confident as to believe that we now have all the answers and that previous generations were totally wrong. However, looking at the world around me, I find it very difficult to see how anyone can believe this,

Tinks32

moneysaymoneydo wrote: »

As pointed out blame the kid, they needed fed i was doing it for their sakes. Who else would put food on the table? in this case the OP had a OT - hmm then again he was only 15 mins drive away how reassuring!

Next you will be saying going out at night leaving kids to prostitute to feed them is ok, god excuses for our own choices, shame poor left alone kids dont have such choices for human rights of being cared for properly not left like a pet at home doors locked waiting for mum to return if she can be bothered!

Just curious if kids can be left at 9 then what age can they be
dumped overnight?

What has God got to do with this thread?
Unfortunately this thread has descended into an argument of egos:(