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leaving children on their own?
Comments
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How not? That's what I don't understand in your insistence that no children under the age of 12 should be left alone. If some children will be fine, how is it not right for them?
Obviously, because you cannot be sure which child something untoward will happen to.I don't remember her accepting she was taking a risk but saying she was relieved. but again, you are totally misinterpreting what I am saying. I never wrote that I thought OP wasn't taking a risk, I said that if she thought she wasn't, that she might very well be right. When she said that she was relieved, I said that clearly she wasn't confident that there was minimal risk and therefore it wouldn't have been right to leave her boys alone. I went by what SHE said, not what I believed or not.
Okay, so you are not personally taking a risk? And how can you quantify it?There are probably others, but they are likely to involve taking some minimal risk too. That's what confidence is about, daring to do something and then realising that you are safe and can do it.
Age appropriate.I do not need to validate my actions, I believe in my them, just like you believe in yours. All this is about is trying to get you to see that it's not because people don't agree with you that they are wrong in their choices.
I am sorry, but I won't come around to your viewpoint any more than you will come around to mine. It doesn't make my view invalid either because it doesn't agree with yours. I would just rather err on the side of caution at the age of nine.We are going over the same thing over and over....I am NOT saying that all 9 year old can be left alone. That's what childcare is available, because most need it, just not ALL! By the way, my local council funded holiday scheme allows children to walk there and back on their own with parent's agreement. Do you think the council is acting totally irresponsibly for even providing this choice to parents?
I think that your comments "that most need it" show that you believe that somehow your particular child is so advanced, so outside the norm that he is immune to the dangers or issues other children of his age could fall prey to. I suspect that was why the other poster called you deluded.
So, do you leave him home alone all day during school holidays?
Re the council, I suspect they expect parents to act responsibly, if they had concerns they would put the safeguarding protocols into place.ha ha, how are you going to comfort your child if you are knocked unconscious? And of course, we are talking about an event that is much less likely to ever occur than a road accident!
Yes, burglars always just do that immediately, they don't sneak around the house, or terrorise people, so no need for an adult to be there at all. Nice, considerate people burglars, they wouldn't frighten a child, just go straight for the knock out.;)Home alone, with 8 neighbours in a close, who we know well, half of whom are retired and home most of the time, and a mobile to call if there are any concerns, a far cry from a 9 year old left in a farm miles away from the next house without any form of communication!
But still not immune to harm.0 -
I was left home alone overnight from being 7 mon-fri while my single mum worked nights, I was ok but very scared and if in this day and age would probably have been taken by social services as I believe this was wrong I still suffer anxiety from it now and would never do it to my children.
It is very sad that single mums felt they had no choice but to resort to such drastic actions. This is terrible to think you were left frightened.
I would never do that to my children either There is a massive difference between leaving a happy 9 yo for an hour there and then during daylight, and leaving a 7 yo alone each night for long hurs.
Did your mum know how you felt or did you keep it from her. Did she do it because she thought she had no other choice?0 -
Poet, I can't be bothered to continue with this going and throing. I really feel you don't get my point at all, so am wasting my time. Nothing I have posted has been about trying to prove you wrong about your views, I have only defended my actions in regards to my children.I think that your comments "that most need it" show that you believe that somehow your particular child is so advanced, so outside the norm that he is immune to the dangers or issues other children of his age could fall prey to. I suspect that was why the other poster called you deluded.
This alone shows that no matter what I write trying to explain my reasons, you don't get it and never will 0 -
Poet, I can't be bothered to continue with this going and throing. I really feel you don't get my point at all, so am wasting my time. Nothing I have posted has been about trying to prove you wrong about your views, I have only defended my actions in regards to my children.
This alone shows that no matter what I write trying to explain my reasons, you don't get it and never will
I get your point exactly, I just don't agree with it. You feel that though most nine year olds need childcare, your son doesn't. My point is that you may feel that but you cannot be sure. Being there is not foolproof either, but it is more likely you as an adult could address any issues than he could as a nine year old.0 -
No you think you get my point but you don't, you really don't.0
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I leave my youngest who is 10 years and 4 months alone, he is quite happy to stay by himself, has a mobile to call and txt me on, knows all the rules and I'm luckier than most as my parents are neighbours (right next door)! But if they weren't next door I would still leave him. I might be starting a new job in the next couple of weeks and he will need to get used to being left for a couple of workings days during the holidays from 9am until 3pm (his dad comes home from work then) as I will be at work, he has an older brother but he is useless and I trust the 10 year old more than I trust him! We have wonderful neighbours and I am only a phone call away... and his dad or I could be home in 5 mins if there was a real emergency. I know some people that don't leave their children until they are 14, my best friend's daughter hadn't done anything on her own and when she had to start getting the bus to school she was absolutely terrified because she had not been taught how to catch the bus and it was a baptistement of fire poor kid, my daughter on the other hand who had been catching the bus for a year had no such difficulties.If you don't ask, you don't get!
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I leave my youngest who is 10 years and 4 months alone, he is quite happy to stay by himself, has a mobile to call and txt me on, knows all the rules and I'm luckier than most as my parents are neighbours (right next door)! But if they weren't next door I would still leave him. I might be starting a new job in the next couple of weeks and he will need to get used to being left for a couple of workings days during the holidays from 9am until 3pm (his dad comes home from work then) as I will be at work, he has an older brother but he is useless and I trust the 10 year old more than I trust him! We have wonderful neighbours and I am only a phone call away... and his dad or I could be home in 5 mins if there was a real emergency. I know some people that don't leave their children until they are 14, my best friend's daughter hadn't done anything on her own and when she had to start getting the bus to school she was absolutely terrified because she had not been taught how to catch the bus and it was a baptistement of fire poor kid, my daughter on the other hand who had been catching the bus for a year had no such difficulties.
Good for you! I was left alone for similar time periods when I was that age - it wasn't unusual in the 1970s. Homes haven't got more dangerous. And most of the world's population would just laugh at the idea that a teenager can't be trusted not to set fire to the house if left alone for a couple of hours0 -
It is very sad that single mums felt they had no choice but to resort to such drastic actions. This is terrible to think you were left frightened.
I would never do that to my children either There is a massive difference between leaving a happy 9 yo for an hour there and then during daylight, and leaving a 7 yo alone each night for long hurs.
Did your mum know how you felt or did you keep it from her. Did she do it because she thought she had no other choice?
No she knew how I felt I used to cry when she was leaving every night. I suppose she felt she had no other choice as she had a mortgage to pay but I still can't forgive her to this day for doing it and as an adult I suffer really bad anxiety because of her actions. I have three children aged 12, 7 and 6 and I could not imagine leaving a 7 year old alone all night no matter what and every week night. To be honest how nothing ever happened is beyond me.Never judge a book by its cover :beer:0
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