BENEFIT CAP-Down almost £7000 help!!!

millie.molly.mandy

desperatemumof6 wrote: »

Shed boy- I was married and working when I had my children. I left an abusive relationship hence the fact we are in this situation I am sorry if that offends you. But comments like that are not needed I am asking for advice not rude comments.

Even so, six children is a little extreme, did you not ever think of the future, having that many kids even when working would take a massive chunk out of any wage, kids today won't accept 2nd best.
My father in law was one of 19, but that was in 1929, they had kids through ignorance those days, but still managed.
I think you will find that a lot of people are having to cut back, even without children, have a look at the ideas on this site for making money, have you tried virtual work, a lot of places these days offer internet work from home.
Good luck, but I do think you really have been rather foolish to have so many children, even when times were good, you can't expect others to pay for you family.

Bamber19

nannytone wrote: »

[she didnt impregante herself. why arent you castigating the father?[/B]

He's just as bad but he's not here moaning about losing some of his free money that he gets (well she does) simply because they chose to squeeze out as many kids as they could.

miamoo

mikey_bach wrote: »

By looking at the previous posts you can take it
the OP is 32, used to working in the banking industry, was married for six years husband left her with all the debts, she went bankrupt when she was 23 and left him.. He had run up debts of 13k.
I dont know if she had all the children before going bankrupt or some after

She is now a lone parent on whatever benefit subject to the Cap.

Not the best start to any life is it.
and she cant change it now all she can do is get on with it the best she can.
There has been some good advice on here she will not be the first or the last

I wonder though if she will have any more children?

OP said in her opening post she has 6 under 12's. They can't all be the ex's if she left him age 23. Can you not get maintenance from the other father/s?

Nada666

miamoo wrote: »

OP said in her opening post she has 6 under 12's. They can't all be the ex's if she left him age 23. Can you not get maintenance from the other father/s?

The last thing such [STRIKE]moaners [/STRIKE] claimants want is to replace regular, reliable payments from the state with random payments from NRPs.

~Chameleon~

miamoo wrote: »

OP said in her opening post she has 6 under 12's. They can't all be the ex's if she left him age 23. Can you not get maintenance from the other father/s?

And why can't they be? She might have had one a year since the age of 16/17 and the last one needn't have been born before they split so she might even have been 24 when she had her 6th child.

N1AK

millie.molly.mandy wrote: »

Even so, six children is a little extreme, did you not ever think of the future, having that many kids even when working would take a massive chunk out of any wage, kids today won't accept 2nd best.

To be fair to OP I don't she came here trying to defend her past actions (whether they need it or not) but to ask for advice on handling a 15% cut in benefits at the same time that her costs are increasing.

Yes it is true that 6 is a lot of children. Yes £26k a year is more money than most households. But this isn't a thread about those things.


On which note, one question I haven't seen answered yet is where the money had been going. £2000 a month isn't a small budget and if OP is spending £160pm on groceries then where is the rest going. Ultimately the £500 cap isn't going anywhere so adjusting isn't optional.

Rylynn

millie.molly.mandy wrote: »

Even so, six children is a little extreme, did you not ever think of the future, having that many kids even when working would take a massive chunk out of any wage, kids today won't accept 2nd best.
My father in law was one of 19, but that was in 1929, they had kids through ignorance those days, but still managed.
I think you will find that a lot of people are having to cut back, even without children, have a look at the ideas on this site for making money, have you tried virtual work, a lot of places these days offer internet work from home.
Good luck, but I do think you really have been rather foolish to have so many children, even when times were good, you can't expect others to pay for you family.

Can I just say they did not have children out of ignorance as you put it, many had children cos they wanted them and some because birth control was not around in the way that it is now. I thought that was most offensive to say they were ignorant and as my mother and father came from large families you are calling my grandparents ignorant which I do take offence to.

Rant over.

RL

miamoo

~Chameleon~ wrote: »

And why can't they be? She might have had one a year since the age of 16/17 and the last one needn't have been born before they split so she might even have been 24 when she had her 6th child.

The post I quoted said that she is now 32.

Dunroamin

Rylynn wrote: »

Can I just say they did not have children out of ignorance as you put it, many had children cos they wanted them and some because birth control was not around in the way that it is now. I thought that was most offensive to say they were ignorant and as my mother and father came from large families you are calling my grandparents ignorant which I do take offence to.

Rant over.

RL

Most working class people were ignorant about contraception at that time; I don't understand why you're offended about that.

~Chameleon~

miamoo wrote: »

The post I quoted said that she is now 32.

But where does she actually state her age? Nowhere that I can see, nor that they separated when she was 23. A quick look at previous posts suggests she married at 17 and her youngest is 3yrs old, and I get the impression they separated recently (within last 2-3 years) so not sure where you got your information.