Debt, depression and gambling.

bounce08

Didn't know what the most appropriate forum was, so chose this one.

I have over £30,000 of unsecured debt, which was acrued through mis-managing money and compulsive spending. If I could, I would turn back the clock 10 years with a smarter head on me and not do it all. But I'm here now.

I was diagnosed with depression yesterday and prescribed medication for the first time in my life. I am 28 years old, and work in the public sector. I live alone in accommodation provided to me by my job which is quite cheap.

I've been a gambling addict for years, and it has only become worse and worse. I could have been debt free this year had I stuck with PayPlan. But due to my debts, they wanted around £700 a month to pay to my creditors, and that's after budgeting. I have no idea how they expect any healthy person to live off £180 a month in Central London. Fruit and veg and meat (chicken etc) is so expensive these days.

Anyway. I've lived here for a few years. The idea was to save. However being so isolated and various other reasons, I've become increasingly depressed and my gambling has become extreme.

I was only paid a couple of days ago, and I've got £20 left. All of my bills are still to go out. I haven't paid PayPlan for over a year, only paying a minimal fee. I get a dozen missed calls a day from creditors. I'm now at a point where I've got £20 to last me until the end of April and that's without paying for any bills.

I've already borrowed money from family (hundreds) and I gambled that away too. I have no one else to turn to. My attitude is always "I'll just double up on this and then I can pay them back" or "I just need to win £xxx amount and I'll be alright for the rest of the month".


I know I need help. What I also know is, regardless of how poor my attitude is, I just cannot commit £700+ a month (a third of my net salary) to paying debts. I know it's the right thing, but I can't. And nothing can change that - I don't have a life without that money. I'm literally left with £50 after all outgoings including PayPlan and can't save to move. I'm 28 and have nothing to show for it. I sold my car a long time ago.

I want to go bankrupt. However my job explicitly states in the contract that bankruptcy is a discipline matter, and would likely lead to the sack if they find out it is due to gambling and neglect. I can't even tell my creditors where I live as it's my workplace and I don't want creditors letters to come here. I have now forwarding addresses as I don't want family to find out my debt.

I just need advice. I don't know who I should speak to professionally. I've heard the same things year in and out from debt counsellors who all tell me to go the debt management plan route but it just does not work for me!

I hate my job. I want to do something else but I don't have a degree or anything to fall back on.

Can anyone help? I feel like I'm running out of options. I am extremely desperate with no money. I would like advice on:

-How to live/obtain food until I get paid! I have a medical condition which prohibits me eating high fats or foods high in iron. It usually means I have to buy expensive/niche foods. I can't live off beans, spaghetti and high saturated fat/processed foods!

-Seeking help from gambling (I tried gamcare but it didn't work for me, I couldn't go to meetings regularly enough due to work).

-Seeking help for debt/bankruptcy in a job where this is prohibited

-General life advice!

Sue292

I didnt rate Gamcare very much - However I did find Gamblers anonymous to be a lifeline - There are plenty of meetings in the London area and I urge you to go - Because unfortunately as you know, the money side of your problems wont turn around until you can get some support to stop gambling - GA meetings are run by people who know exactly what you are going through. Im not well placed to advise you with your money issues, I expect someone will post who will be able to help you with that.

Regards

Sue

Sue292

http://www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk/

Upsidedown_Bear

Have you seen this thread?

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/1090463

ETA

Have you spoken to one of the free debt advice charities?
Details here:
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4228011

The lovely people on the Old Style board are very good at making money go a long way.
Have a read and maybe start your old thread.

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=33

This thread might be useful for now as you are so short of money for food.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4084527

michael1983l

The first thing you NEED to do is get yourself barred from all the bookmakers and casinos in your area. You need to do this before you do anything else.

kittiej

What causes you to gamble?

michael1983l

kittiej wrote: »

What causes you to gamble?

I was told by my psychologist that I was actually hooked on the losing part, sounds crazy but it is the change in the high and low mood of which I craved, which was largely to do with my bi-polar disorder.

The adreniline rush is also addictive.

But all gamblers start off innocently and get crazy ideas of systems in their heads or desperatley chase losses as they see no other way from redeeming the money.

kittiej

So how do you deal with this now? It will be good for OP to know they aren't alone or an idiot either.

bounce08

I gamble to afford something. I just feel delusional in that I know I've committed money to things and I'd rather 'win' what I want to spend on things rather than spend money committed to other things. Ironically, this is exactly the pattern my gambling has taken. I need new clothes, my tv is broken etc. Most of the time I lose, and chase losses and even when I win I think "I can just double up on this and have twice the money".

Originally I gambled to try and clear my debts quicker, but then conceeded that this would be too much of an ask.

I started gambling my rent money with the mentality of "I can just double up on my rent money, then pay my rent and still have twice the money left over".

I also like the thrill of gambling. It makes watching things like football more enjoyable. If I had the things I needed I wouldn't gamble.

Triker

Hi Bounce08,

your post caught my eye as I am browsing the forum. I just wanted to say you've come to a great place for support, stick around, there are some very lovely people here, many of which have hit rock bottom also.

I suppose the first thing is to face head on your gambling and I think you can only probably do this with support so any of the gambling support groups would be good to join.

Re your remaining money for the month, can you eat at any of your relations house for a bit.

If it came to it you may be able to access a food parcel, I don't know about London but Churches and other charities may be able to help.

Do you have any food in at all? If so the Oldstyle forum can help.

The longer term money management needs looking at. I don't know if you have anyone you trust enough to manage your money? I only suggest this as a friend of mine did this and his wife manages all the money and he doesn't have access to any except what he basically needs on a day to day basis. His issue was compulsive gambling also.

Re your debts, you'll probably be asked to do a statement of affairs so people can help you budget and look realistically at your debts.

This may be a difficult process for you but please remember if you are informed you can regain some of the control you appear to have lost in your life.

Finally I just wanted to say, please stick around and I wish you well in your journey in recovery and a better life.

kittiej

So if you had a strategy to be able to buy the things you want and pay debts then would you stop gambling?