Help......

alastairq

there will always be a happy ending.

Maybe not quite the one envisaged, but happy for all that.

The OP really has become a victim of urban myth....one based upon victorian influences at that!

The future economic situation in this country is going to mean fundamental changes in how we view life [ie, our aims and desires]....what is going to be important to us [rather than what was important, at one time?}

Changes..and how we manage them, are going to be normal, right across the board.

I suspect those that have been through BR, and have achieved the 'fresh start' BR can offer, will survive a lot better than those who will try to cling onto the old ideals of the previous decade?

The first step in coping, is for the OP to change their own mindset.

debt_doctor

I once ran my own business and was an employer for many years in a trade that I had spent 25 years in.
After I became ill at the time, I lost my mortgaged home, became bankrupt and my children and myself was re housed by the council where I still am today.
I allegedly 'lost everything I ever worked for' - at least thats what the capitalist system would have you believe, but infact;

I no longer had to be trapped in the work area that I was involved in.- the job all ways paid rather well, but I didnt enjoy it.
I could take up voluntary training in doing something that I had always wanted to do but could never do because of work commitments.
I now for the first time work in an office as opposed to factories and building sites, I am solvent and happy.

Generally speaking, the biggest limits are the ones we place on ourselves.

DD

tigerfeet2006

Ox1987 wrote: »

Interesting I was thinking that myself f you dont mind me asking at what age did he retrain and how did he do it. What qualificaton and how was it funded I have thought of doing them same

Did everything have a happy ending eventually my fear is never being happy again

Things have changed a lot since my DH did his training. He had a degree already and then did his PGCE at university and had a bursary and student loans to get us through. His is a core subject. We have emigrated because of the state of education and what Gove is doing to it in the UK. Though saying that it is the best move we ever made. We have our housing payed for and live in a house that is five times the size of our house in the UK, the kids education in an outstanding private school is paid for, the kids have more opportunities than they would have had at home and they do things we could only dream of. He earns tons more than he would in the UK and it is tax free.

So yes I would say it was a happy ending.

We took our lightbulb moment as a chance to change our life for the better and take a chance to do things that we couldn't because of the debt.

Ox1987

Now thats inspired me I have a Maths degree and was thinking about a PGCE if all went wrong I assume you are in the ME i love there and used to work there and often thought of moving there
Student loan after going bankrupt though seems odd but this has given me thought and kick up the .....
Did you not try any other debt options and go straight to BR

meer53

OP, i really hope you take note of what people are saying. You do sound really worried and fraught, which is understandable in the circumstances, but your children will still love you, wherever you live and however much money you have.

Losing a house and being bankrupt isn't the end of the world. Look at it as the start of a new phase in your life. I've never been bankrupt but have experienced my world falling apart, and what i thought was my future being ripped from under my feet. This happened completely out of the blue and i had no knowledge that it was going to happen. One day, suddenly, the world i had been living in didn't exist any more.

But you know what ? I readjusted, and i now realise that (as someone has already said) there can be a happy ending, as long as you don't put barriers in your way, just accept what happens and as long as you, your wife and children are healthy, thats all that matters.

I'm happier now than i have ever been. You will be too.

Ox1987

Hi all
I am back considering whether bankruptcy is the best option
I have looked at our finances and realise that with the high mortgge payment and the car that our general bills make it very tight
Is a fresh start the best option as I think at moment it is destrying us

It is the process that scares me and also the repossession that could follow on and will the shortfall fall in to the BR how can I make sure the process does not impact my family

alastairq

Is a fresh start the best option as I think at moment it is destroying us

The first phase of any 'fresh start' comes from within one's mind.

That realisation that 'something must now be done?'


But, a fresh start may well mean, taking stock of the status quo....deciding what can be set aside, what can be changed, what is really wanted out of life?

Bankruptcy itself can mean a 'fresh start'...or it can mean, a total nightmare [usually when trying to maintain the pre-BR status quo?}

So much will depend upon the attitude of the individual?


But before considering BR as a step forwards, it is essential that in-depth research is done into the process.


And before one commences that move, one has to discard all the fake moral and ethical detritus associated with BR, by the uninitiated.

BR is a legal process. It provides closure for one's creditors, and the opportunity for a 'fresh start' to the former debtor.

will the shortfall fall in to the BR

As thorough research on this particular forum will show, any shortfall in the way you mean, will fall into a BR regardless of how far down the line such a shortfall occurs.

how can I make sure the process does not impact my family

The process will impact on your family.


Your current situation is impacting on your family.


Now, whether the impact of a BR is a positive one, or a negative one, on your family, is entirely up to you.

[I should point out that, if shortfall is a major issue, then if the mortgage and secured loans are joint, the other party will be pursued for the full amount...so BR may be a route to consider, for both of you? ]

With regards to your family, BR will not really change things.....it isn't a medical procedure.

And it will have a far more beneficial impact on your kids, than divorce, for example?

You are poor now..as things stand.

You will still be poor after BR.

The difference is, at the moment, you are poor, and cannot cope.

After a BR, one is poor, but fully able to cope.

IF

Hi Ox1987 Your first step is to make a list of all your creditors, debts and assets. Secondly and most important is contact one of the following debt charities. Please try these they don't charge and are impartial. They will go through all your options with you and if they suggest bankruptcy then come back to this board and we will help you all we can. Also if your not ‘clicking’ with one of the Debt charities do try another. We advise you to try at least two others for your own piece of mind.
Your BR could be refused if you have not sought advice.
Advice on here does not count, this has to be from one of the Debt Charities, an IP, an Accountant or a Solicitor. The Judge just wants to be sure that you can never come back and try and overturn the order on the basis that you were not aware of all the consequences.

* Blue text on this forum usually signifies hyperlinks, click on the blue links below *

Main recommended sources of help:

• National Debtline - Website: National Debtline Telephone: 0808 808 4000
• Citizens Advice Bureau - Website: Citizens Advice or visit your local CAB centre (find nearest)
• StepChange (formerly CCCS) - Website: StepChange Telephone: 0800 138 1111

Others:

• Business Debtline
  - Website: Business Debtline Telephone: 0800 197 6026
• Christians Against Poverty
• PayPlan
• TaxAid - Help with tax debts.

Please don’t do anything rash take your time and weigh up your options and read everything you can.


For ‘essential’ BR info the ‘Look here first’ sticky by Fermi.

BR friendly home insurance thread.

BR Friendly Bank Accounts ~ [Updated Sep 2012 re: Co-op Cashminder withdrawal]

BR Abbreviations

Beth's Guide Reasons for your BR

Charities who help with BR Fees

Bankruptcy NDL Guide

Basic Bankruptcy Advice & Guide NED CAB

And do remember we’ve all been through this and anything you don’t understand don’t be afraid to ask.


Best wishes
IF...x

Ox1987

I have sourced advice and some think a DMP is the route for now but the whole thing scares me rigid. I dream of just a simple life with my kids and wife not worrying about money and material things. Just to feel happy again would be wonderful

tigerfeet2006

All I can say is do your research. Read the links posted in If's post below. Read as many threads as you can. Ask questions. Talk to the debt charities as many times as you need.Write down the pro's and con's for BR and a DMP. Read the stickies, links, threads again. Write down the pro's and con's. Ask questions. Read the Debtfree Wanabe board and the DFW DMP support thread. Write. Read, read, ask questions.

Go into thinks with your eyes wide open.

First thing I would do though is open a Co-op Cashminder or Barclays Basic account and get all you DD's etc. transfered to it. Do this whether you are considering a DMP or BR.