Help......

DCFC79

Ox1987 wrote: »

I think we are already insolvent but SC have suggested a DMP however is it only delaying the inevitable
I have only just started this contract as I was out of work picking up bits of days here or there

Its the accounting piece that worrys me and what will happen to us if we do go through BR especially related to my kids. My Parents have said they will not lets us go homeless etc and we have thought on social housing though I do not want to be on benefits for the rest of my life ....... Should I give up my kids for their own sake
Has anyone been through this similar with 3 kids

Stressed.com

Your kids wont be taken from you and you wont need to give them up, listen to what others are saying.

Can your wife not do some mystery customer shopping or some Avon work, betterware work to bring in some extra money ?

You aren't a bad parent.

Ox1987

I feel a bad parent though i have only ever wanted the best for them and they get all our love etc butthey are only 7, 4 and 5 months and would they be better off and get better opportunities without us (either way) I wanted them to go to university etc and not end up on the wrong side of the fence
We lost a daughter in 2007 at 36 weeks I was they only person to see her open her eyes hence why we had to try for the 3rd as the first two were boys and we lost her after the first boy. Sometimes its hard I love her loads but have we overcooked it with three

I am so depressed and am struggling to not cry here. If i thought we could get a nice social house (we have looked at there have been some nice ones) and rebuild and they would be happy i would go BR tmw we have the fees but can we rebuild is the question I have 30 years before I retire and dont want to waste my life on the social even if we have to start back there. I feel I have wasted all my uni and study time let alone my parents money putting me through it only now for it to blow up.

will I ever be happy again.. i cant take much more

lilybankrupt

Hmmmm....

Would you see Henry Ford or Walt Disney as failures? They both went bankrupt...

So, here's the worst case scenario...

You go bankrupt and lose your job and right to practice and your house. I stress this is the worst case, you may keep both your job and your house.

As you have young children the council has a duty to provide you with accommodation, even if temporary, and you will get good priority for waiting lists for a permanent home, so you won't be homeless.

You'll find work, although it might take a while if you have to look at other jobs. In the meantime, again because you have young children you should be entitled to a reasonable amount of benefits including housing benefit.

I'm not saying you need to be on benefits for ever - to me the benefit system is there for exactly your situation, to help you get back on your feet.

Fast forward a year or two (and i'm not saying it will be easy) - you will have a home and a family, and possibly some work too to enable you to rebuild your life.

I suspect the only thing that matters to your kids is that their parents love them - and there are plenty of kids from 'poor' families who go on to do perfectly well in life

As someone has already said, take a deep breath...what i've just posted above is the WORST case. Imagine how much better it will be if you find your job is OK and / or you can keep your house

GazHatesBanks

Please do not worry about the CIMA part - As long as you let them know they will not take any action against you (unless there was fraud involved). I speak as a CIMA qualified accountant and I have not (as yet) had any trouble in finding work despite the BR being on my record.

Yes I was lucky that my employer at the time was not worried about the BR, but my subsequent employer also isn't bothered - BR does not have the same stigma these days given the economic situation.

Jox

Ox1987, this is a scary time for you and your family, but out of adversity can come great things.
Try not to panic, you have 3 beautiful children, an OH and everything to live and fight for.
If it was me, I would probably take my parents up on any offers they can suggest, a place to live, any financial help...it will only be temporary and you can work on a plan to improve your situation.
Can you rent your house out?
Your children will go to university if they choose to, it won't matter if you are rich or poor, they can be a success (whether they go to uni or not - I didn't go).
Fill out a statement of affairs and lots of people will suggest ways to cut down on your outgoings.
Do you have anything you can sell on ebay?
Read diaries on these boards, lots of inspirational stories, things feel bleak now but they will improve, it's down to you and a positive attitude.
Good luck

Ox1987

Gaz

has it affected the roles you could apply for
And how many times have you moved jobs ie have you just been lucky
That is good to know though

Ox1987

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 3
Number of cars owned.................... 1 (on a lease)

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 3963.5
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 3963.5

Monthly Expense Details[/b]
Mortgage................................ 1132
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 725.09 (includes car lease)
Management charge (leasehold property).. 25 (for shared car park)
Council tax............................. 187
Electricity............................. 75
Gas..................................... 75
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 50
Telephone (land line)................... 50 (12 month contract BT)
Mobile phone............................ 41 (18 mnth / 12 left)
TV Licence.............................. 13
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0 got rid
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 450 (suggested by charity for 5)
Clothing................................ 70
Petrol/diesel........................... 300 (for work 40 miles round trip)
Road tax................................ 0
Car Insurance........................... 53
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 25
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 100 (wife to take kids to school as in town centre catholic school 46 a month her pass then oldest has to pay)
Childcare/nursery....................... 0 stopped it
Other child related expenses............ 38
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 10.4
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 10
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 27.71 includes building
Life assurance ......................... 148.66
Other insurance......................... 20
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 30
Haircuts................................ 35
Entertainment........................... 20
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 50
Total monthly expenses.................. 3760.87


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 180000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 0
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 180000


Secured & HP Debts[/b]
Description....................Debt......Monthly.. .APR
Mortgage...................... 157000...(1132).....4.95
Secured Debt.................. 32000....(385)......0
Hire Purchase (HP) debt ...... 9500.....(340.1)....0
Total secured & HP debts...... 198500....-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly.. .APR
Credit Cards...................28744.....697.......0
Catalogue......................2786......86....... .0
Storecards.....................2268......160...... .0
Overdraft......................1500......0........ .0
BNPL...........................1147......70....... .0
Total unsecured debts..........36445.....1013......


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 3,963.5
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 3,760.87
Available for debt repayments........... 202.63
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 1,013
Amount short for making debt repayments. -810.37

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 180,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -198,500
Total Unsecured debt.................... -36,445
Net Assets.............................. -54,945


Due to go through with NFP agency this week and need to change bank account but also worried that might cause missed payments.

I am a hard worker and don't want to spend the rest of my days on benefits this is the issue I am a CIMA member also who on website said i wont be banned, though I have heard of people getting work after bankruptcy, but not at my usual level but not bothered about that as long as kids are OK. We have 3 beautiful kids and lost a daughter at birth in 2007 which I think it where is all started. Surely nothing can be as bad as that...... The stress at the moment is bad and also the wife is threatening to leave with the kids as i am unbearable.

Jox

You won't spend the rest of your days on benefits, you won't lose your family, you and your wife need to calm down and work together as someone said on your other thread.....

Try to keep calm, you will get some good ideas and support on these boards

Here's the other thread, maybe they should be merged https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4514865

I'm very sorry for the loss of your daughter in 2007, have you spoken to any bereavement charities or your doctor for any support, you may need some help in dealing with the grief.

sovilla

I cant give anymore advice that what has previously been said but I didnt want to read and run. I have 5 children, my partner went bankrupt in 2010 and I went bankrupt in Dec 2012. Its a long and complicated story about what brought around our bankruptcy but I have to say it is the best thing we have even done. Yes it was a worry in the beginning but now its like a weight has been lifted. You cannot carry on as you are, it will make you ill. Get the support of your family and proceed with the bankruptcy. Look at renting privately, start a fresh in a new home, and you will get help with council tax and rent though the council if your on a low wage. Give yourself time to get back on your feet, that doesnt mean you will be on benefits for the rest of your life. And once your doing ok and both working you can then start that saving pot for university fees for you kids. It can be done. Good luck and stay strong.

sort_me_own_yard_out

Big deep breath,

You have made the first start by coming on here and taking advice from a debt charity. I went bankrupt almost 3 weeks ago, I am a single parent to 2 beautiful children that are my world, the be all and end all of my life ( isn't that what children should be). Part of my debt stems from my ex husband leaving 5 weeks before our youngest child was due. I felt guilt for not being a good enough wife and in turn left my children living within a one parent family. I tried to provide everything that they would of had if we had been together. it all came to head almost 4 years ago when I ran out of credit on my cards and my income only covered my rent and minimum payments on my debts. Fast forward 4 years.

I am a better parent for going bankrupt in the last 3 weeks I have slept better, in turn I am more patient more relaxed and I have opened the blinds as I don't fear bailiffs.

My family, friends don't know about my situation I will probably tell my children when they older hope they will take a valuable lesson from it. I too feared about my job and had to make a call to let them know. My 12 yr old wants to be a vet, not once do I think my bankruptcy will stop or hinder that ambition.

After all my rattling on I am not sure I have got my initial point across. But a piece of paper saying you are brassic will not, should not make you a bad enough parent that you talk of loosing them.

Please be rational it is hard but as long as my children are happy, warm and healthy I will happily stick two fingers up to the rest of the world!!!

P.S. I do still have irrational thoughts now and again just getting less and I am a woman so every woman has them!!!