Cant afford to live but cant afford for things to come crashing considering options

Goldblend_2

I have read the responses - thank you to everyone for taking the time to read to see if they could help.

Am petrified of ringing a debt charity? why is this i ask myself?

Listed two things on ebay so fingers crossed something will sell ASAP. :A

HappyMJ

Goldblend wrote: »

Hi MJ thank you so much for advice and reading. Appreciate the support. What worries me is i have 16.5 k in a bank account in my name - this is not mine is all mum's from selling of her life's worth of asset's before she got ill as she was ill at the time it was easier for me to open a seperate account for her in my name - this was and is to pay for her care and future. I dont know if i can transfer this to a relative to keep for her - manage her affairs or maybe deposit into a bank in her own name..i am worried if i transfered the amount then went bankrupt i would get in trouble as in not sure if this would be seen as deception / criminial offence? maybe i should read bankruptcy boards?

I wouldn't keep it in your name. You could drop dead tomorrow, your account will be frozen then the funds used to repay your creditors and your mum loses the lot.

You need to have proof of where the money came from. If it was a house sale then there would be a very clear paper trail. You could then transfer the money back to her and there wouldn't be any problem.

Debt charities are OK. They do take a little bit of courage to call them the first time but once you get over that hurdle they are fine to deal with.

patman99

You are worried about phoning a debt charity, but you have posted your SoA on a public forum. These charities are non-judgemental, they deal with people in your situation every day. They are also much more qualified to give out advice than the likes of us here in forumland (although there are real, qualified experts on here).

I would suggest following the advice on putting your mum's account back into her name & becoming PoA before phoning the debt charaities first though (unless someone else knows if they can help with this).

Goldblend_2

Thanks Patman really appreciate you checking in honestly so thank you for being kind - thsi is genuine thanks not in a weirdy internet way .....Done lots of research on debt help today .!!

Email back from boss about Company card so finally some good news there. Not sure how long it will take to come though but still a positive.

Got to be up at 5/6am for travel to work...not sure i can sleep much anyway i know taht the usual Monday hell awaits me

Spending late Monday evening at a friends to build up teh corage for Tuesday. Note to self - try not to break down whilst there!!

Off work on Tuesday

I am going to speak to relative on Tuesday about moving mum's money - this means i will have to "come clean" about the mess i am in which will be really, really, really tough .....even though i am scared..... i do think this is best though. Feel sick at the thought of this what a wimp.

I think once i have thsi part sorted...i may have a few options.

1 . Move into somewhere cheaper all inclusive as in rent a cheap room and put all spare cash towards debts but will still mean I will spend the next couple of years paying off debt - I'm pretty strong so think i could do this??? I'd be around 39 but at least i would have a future? Nice idea £900 a month to chuck at debts.....


2.Have a proper look at options DMP, IVA or BR - call CCS Tuesday / Wednesday when i am not working so i have enough time to emtionally recover and get back to work.



If only my love where money I'd have plenty to give and pay back my debts ten fold.

Night and big warm hug to anyone out there who need's it.

:A

MrsOptimistic

I hope your Monday has gone well. Perhaps tomorrow will be a blessing in that one more person will know your situation and that's one more person that hopefully, you will be able to turn too to talk when times are hard.

Re the moving into a smaller place - perhaps you can do this for a year as a short term plan to throw as much as you can at the debts and then in a years time you may be able to think/see differently about it all and make further plans more suited to you?

The company credit card will help a lot in you managing money month by month. Fingers crossed it turns up soon, that'll ease a lot of pressure.

Keep your chin up, it'll all turn out ok xxx

patman99

At least with a company cc you are not temporarily adding to your own debt (and incurring interest on your o/d).

I will say one thing about telling your relative about your debt problem. If they are anything like my brother, then they will not judge you in any way. After all, it was your ex who is to blame rather than you.

Goldblend_2

Left at 7am this morning, it was hard to get up today as awake until 2am.
I probably am a teenager at heart and struggle to get up anyway but by no means lazy...have won the going the extra mile award at work for the last 4 years running or maybe my boss tells me this to keep me on the cheap??


Managed the travel and the long days work ok so got home at 9.45pm saved a bit of travel time today by getting a faster train.

My relative called to ask What did i want ??? in a very harsh tone of voice..then there was a pause and i mean a long uncomfortable pause .. this was my moment..:eek: i felt sick...dog sick.

I was just about to say and then they started bleeting on that i should be up there with mum...and started to put the pressure on ..little do they know i feel trapped in my job to keep things afloat..I said i had just come home from work and i will speak to them tomorrow...I KNOW ..I must do it but the timing was not right at all .......not that i think it will ever be so nothing was said by me. What a yellow faced loser!!:o

Think I will feel better once the money is transferred....one less worry and responsibility for me. Maybe I dont have to tell them and just ask them if they would do this? They will revel in my misfortune as they never did like OH.

They did say they may be going away until 6th April so maybe i can use this time to make a plan?? not making excuses but i dont want to ruin their break give them more reason to hate me...dont want them to try to poison mum against me ...sometimes when you need people the most ..they just stick the knife in!!

Bosses holder of the purse (accountant) say's card could take 4 weeks but will remain optimistic for the interim and will try to push it to get ASAP. Supppose all good accountants are tight that is why they are good..?


On the plus side I have got a few days off work now but i willl have to work here and there from home to get up to date with things ...ggr!!

Am going to friends now on Tuesday night instead of tonight ....friend with GFCH ..hurrah.. looking forward to being warm...is it just me or is it still bl*ody cold..flat was 8 degrees when i got in so i just popped on trusty electric blanket and got in as fast as i could.............my backside is currently practically on fire but i dont mind that :rotfl:.

No further along today..maybe i will do a realistic for me budget tonight /tomorrow. I dont really want to be BR. Maybe I could try moving somewhere cheaper and see how i do for 6 months? get a Sunday job? I can work all hours so wont be an issue for me..I might even enjoy the change or make some new friends at work?

Funny how you can hate yourself for loving someone so much you would have done anything for them...must move on from this...have a quick word with self .....am strong ...am independant and so worth more!!

Am such a super positive person and all this is hitting me hard and i have even done anything yet? Maybe it's facing up to the reality of what needs to be done?

I'm sure I've seen/ read people with bigger debt than mine on less income become DF by paying it back ???


Thank you to everyone who has "chipped in" with help or support knowing your out there really does help.

Night :A

Goldblend_2

Hope you too are well Mrs O xxx Thank you for support and kindness.

Fingers and toes crossed for me..

Goldblend_2

Ok still no call from relatives ...tried calling them but no answer.. the wait is killing me..

Ok here 's what i am going to accomplish this week

Work - get up to date should finish tasks by 9pm today - fingers crossed

Go to shop - milk!!

Bathroom - cleaned so task complete needed a break from work!
Kitchen
Lounge
Bedroom

EBAY
Banking
Bill paying

Talk to relatives !!!

Will come back tonight to see what i have achieved:T

Goldblend_2

Better day today.

did not tell relatives!! but spoke to them about Mum's money and we said we would sort this out when they come back from hols.

Found a cheaper place to live :-) if i can get it that is.

Did all my cleaning yesterday, today I have finally caught up with work no tasks outstanding and it feels really good.

I have painted back flat from Blue to White ( first coat of white - anyway) and filled holes etc so when or IF i leave this is done and wont be holding me back .

One of my neighbours has done a runner and not paid the rent hence a call from the agents today to ask do i have any contact details for them or did i know ... if i did i must be honest not my beeswax to say if i did know but i dont so no need to lie anyway.

Have and am continuing to list every possible item that is not an essential on ebay.

To do List

Painting :-( - second / third coat of white to go .

Put back shelves that i took down too.

Look at moving "man & van" costs

Pay bills :-( and see what i have got left over.

Find references fees for new cheaper place - Still £250 to find - hopeful that with the easter hols ebay will be busy and i will sell some things.

Do work expenses - hurry up card!!!

Ebay - listing & posting the listing is ok i just hate the posting.

Go to the post office.

Do SOA on new place ?