Nice people thread part 8 - worth the wait

tomterm8

PasturesNew, that's kind of what I expected. If they had not been ignorant of your condition you wouldn't have been called naughty. You weren't naughty

michaels

tomterm8 wrote: »

PasturesNew, that's kind of what I expected. If they had not been ignorant of your condition you wouldn't have been called naughty. You weren't naughty

Well not in class any way....;)

bugslet

I was a good child at school, only problem I had was one particular teacher that took a dislike to me and promptly made my life a misery aged 7-8. Even now I have brain freeze when anything remotely mathematical appears. The school apologised the year I left, which was pretty rare in 1976. Fortunately I had some really good teachers that spotted the halo after the old witch and streaming was based on English results not on maths results!

LydiaJ

lemonjelly wrote: »

Any parenting issue is always going to be sensetive to discuss. It is one of the most personal aspects of life I guess.

As someone who isn't a parent, yet would love to have a child, seems I'm in a no win situation. Best not comment, as I can't understand what it is like to be a parent. It is a reaction I've seen/heard before.

Children face issues every day that could adversely affect them. Any parent will want the best opportunities for their child/ren. That is a huge part of life.

However I do have friends with disabled children. One person I know had a son with what is suspected to be (unconfirmed as yet) some form of learning difficulties. There are a number of additional physical conditions too. In the first instances of the parents becoming aware, it seemed to be putting them off parenting. In some ways, the comment I made had to be made to these friends.

Perhaps I phrased it badly? The biggest thing that a child could need, want or benefit from is the love and support of a kind parent. For me at least, that/they are the biggest motivators in creating a happy life for a child.

Perhaps I'll leave it there though, as after all, what can I know?

lemonjelly, I'm so sorry I made you feel like that. It was not my intention. I'm not sure what my intention was, actually. I was just reacting in the moment to what I perceived as a suggestion that wanting DS to get help with his dyslexia means I don't love him as much as I would if reading were easy for him. As though I was trying to fix my broken designer accessory without caring about how it is for him inside himself.

It's not like that. I do love him, very much. Not as much as I'd like to, but that's just because I'm human and fallible and self-absorbed as most humans are, and not because reading and spelling and handwriting are a struggle for him. I've been through all sorts of phases since his primary school first raised the issue years ago. I started with "The dyslexics I teach seem to manage OK so I'm sure he'll be fine" and then "His school are providing help so that's that sorted" from which I moved on to "This is nowhere near as big a problem as his bereavement issues so it will have to wait because it would overwhelm him to deal with it now" and eventually to where I am now, which is "The dyslexics I teach get much more help than he's getting, so I need to organise that sort of help for him, and now is the right time for it because he feels ready and he knows he needs it, and he's suffering because of the problem".

Please don't think you have nothing to bring to a discussion of children and their needs. Yes, of course there are some things you don't have experience of. But so what? All of us have limited experience in one way or another. I have never had an ASD child, but it doesn't stop me voicing an opinion about Sue's kids. I listen, I try not to pontificate, and if she tells me I've misunderstood their circumstances, I believe her. I hope sometimes she finds what I say at least a bit supportive and/or helpful. And you do those things too, so don't give up just because I took your brief question the wrong way.

In any case, sometimes you may have the advantage of a wider perspective when the parent is too close to the situation to see clearly.

lostinrates wrote: »

Dh just given arbitration one more shove with the message we have reached the end of the period of time where we can deal with no action, and a move to resolve or court is our next step.

Yay!! Go foundinrates.

bugslet wrote: »

I was a good child at school, only problem I had was one particular teacher that took a dislike to me and promptly made my life a misery aged 7-8. Even now I have brain freeze when anything remotely mathematical appears. The school apologised the year I left, which was pretty rare in 1976. Fortunately I had some really good teachers that spotted the halo after the old witch and streaming was based on English results not on maths results!

Well, I'm glad DS's streaming won't be based on his English results without regard to his maths ones.

Teachers that put kids off maths are a nightmare - us secondary physics & maths teachers have to try to undo the effects, but it's difficult. Sometimes they convince the kid that they are useless, and other times they engender an attitude that maths is difficult and/or boring. Both are bad. I remember when DS was little and I was visiting primary schools to decide where to send him, and I heard a teacher saying something to the class about wanting to get somebody else to do all their maths for them, and I was distinctly unimpressed. He didn't go to that school!

tomterm8

I thought we had some daft threads, then I popped into the ebay forum and found... a thread on how some guy was peeved at being charged £1.20 over the odds on postage...

The thread has 11 pages.

(Edit: I ended up there via google)

PasturesNew

tomterm8 wrote: »

I thought we had some daft threads, then I popped into the ebay forum and found... a thread on how some guy was peeved at being charged £1.20 over the odds on postage...

The thread has 11 pages.

(Edit: I ended up there via google)

I was reading that. He called it "ripped off". What a wally.

The charge is set out before you click anything ... and he's not taken into consideration the time/materials/effort in packaging it up. Idiot.

Earlier today I had to hide my keyboard as I read some new debt diary .... poster says they're nearly out of money and would be reining it in. Single parent/1 child.... then went on to say their kid's going on a £300 school trip ... then she had coffee with a friend ... then drinks with a friend .... then a weekend binge session .... and "proudly" posted that she'd paid £1.23 (or similar) off her Next card.

Board's full of them..... idiots.

Spirit_2

LydiaJ wrote: »

Then each candidate usually goes off (with friends in tow) to the church where they will be serving, .

Thanks. No hat then:(

She will be a curate at the Cathedral so we will not 'go off'.

Spirit_2

PasturesNew wrote: »

... as I've never been, and will never be, in any similar situation I'll keep my suggestion of a wrap around skirt, flip flops and a flowing T shirt to myself

My friend's preferred footwear when we were younger mums - Doc Martens.

LydiaJ

Spirit wrote: »

Thanks. No hat then:(

She will be a curate at the Cathedral so we will not 'go off'.

Oooh a cathedral curate. I've never known one of those! Maybe hats will be de rigeur in that case. You'd better ask your friend. I've only attended ordinations where all the candidates were going to be curates at parish churches and everything back at the parish churches was friendly and welcoming but not expensive. Cathedral curates may get a different class of welcome requiring a different standard of dress for their guests.

Even if you don't all go off somewhere, you will probably find that all the other curates being ordained at the same time do go off to their churches, leaving the cathedral to those of you who are there to support your friend. I imagine that's when the drinks and canapes will happen - probably in some kind of side room or the cloisters or chapter house or some such. But I'm guessing.

Hope you have a lovely time at it anyway.

Nikkster

Spirit wrote: »

Thanks. No hat then:(

She will be a curate at the Cathedral so we will not 'go off'.

In that case, I think you really should wear a hat