Nice people thread part 8 - worth the wait

silvercar

lemonjelly wrote: »

Apologies if I'm oversimplifying this, but do you love him any less as a result?

It is about maximising potential and giving your child all the advantages you can.

CKhalvashi

silvercar wrote: »

OH is abroad, an eastern european country.

He puts his wallet and passport in the room safe and goes for a walk. Returns to find the safe open but the passport and wallet still there!

a) Disturbed thief?
b) He didn't shut it properly?
c) dodgy closing mechanism?
d) thief took numbers and info and left?

Probably b.

I'm in Norway at the moment, and forgot to lock the hotel door when I went to get a coffee earlier (I've been sorting paperwork for the next 18 months out with Jasmine all day today/tomorrow, over a bottle of vodka).

Ironically, the hotel is called 'The Thief', but I don't think anything's gone, as iPhone, Blackberry, iPad, wallet with a fair bit of (Swedish) cash in there and car keys are still there.

I'd forget my head if it wasn't screwed on sometimes

CK

neverdespairgirl

lemonjelly wrote: »

Apologies if I'm oversimplifying this, but do you love him any less as a result?

It's nothing to do with loving him more, or less. If he could read and write like a PhD graduate, I'd not love him more.

But I'm concerned that it's frustrating him, and potentially limiting his access to things he does love and find interesting.

PasturesNew

silvercar wrote: »

OH is abroad, an eastern european country.

He puts his wallet and passport in the room safe and goes for a walk. Returns to find the safe open but the passport and wallet still there!

a) Disturbed thief?
b) He didn't shut it properly?
c) dodgy closing mechanism?
d) thief took numbers and info and left?

Disturbed - they'd have crossed paths. Window'd be open.
Didn't shut it/dodgy closing - my preferred answer
Took and left - unlikely as they'd have shut it behind them as they are doing the copy method to avoid detection.

I bet he got distracted between putting it in and leaving. Maybe he left it open, intending to maybe put something else in.

LydiaJ

lemonjelly wrote: »

Apologies if I'm oversimplifying this, but do you love him any less as a result?

What has that got to do with any of it? You find out that your child has an issue that it going to make a whole host of things harder for them, and you feel worried for them, and anxious to do whatever you can to help them overcome it.

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

It's nothing to do with loving him more, or less. If he could read and write like a PhD graduate, I'd not love him more.

But I'm concerned that it's frustrating him, and potentially limiting his access to things he does love and find interesting.

Yes, this is how I feel.

PasturesNew wrote: »

It's only frustrating him as others are making a big deal..... maybe he's better at drawing aliens or running round the track.

I don't think it is just about others making a big deal about it. Access to information about just about anything depends on being able to read accurately and without stress. Communicating with the rest of the world depends in a large part on being able to write so other people understand you. Not being able to do those things cuts you off from all sorts of things that you might find interesting and useful. That makes life difficult and frustrating.

NDG's son and mine aren't just non-academic kids who'd be happier being bricklayers or something. They are the sort of children who find learning interesting, want to do well at school, and feel distressed that this wretched literacy issue keeps obstructing that. (Well, mine is, and it sounds to me as though hers is too.)

Don't just take my word for it, though. Here's what he wants to contribute to the thread in general (in his own words, but dictated to me so my spelling!!):

Being dyslexic is horrible. You see the rest of the class doing a lot better than you, and it makes you feel like you're doing rubbishly. A lot of people do not understand the difficulties that you get, and often misjudge your abilities and insult you. Everything takes me a million trillion times longer than a normal person would take, so I have a lot less free time. Learning foreign languages is really hard, especially if they have funny alphabets or weird spelling and stupid silent letters.

To Isaac, he says: Try not to let insults about your bad reading or handwriting put you down. (That has happened to me before.)

And to NDG, he says: Get help now for your son.

tomterm8

PasturesNew wrote: »

It's only frustrating him as others are making a big deal..... maybe he's better at drawing aliens or running round the track.

I disagree.

There're damn few life opportunities for dyslexic children in our society unless they are taught to read and write. And it is possible to do that in a loving environment without causing the child much frustration at all.

lostinrates

LydiaJ wrote: »

Don't just take my word for it, though. Here's what he wants to contribute to the thread in general (in his own words, but dictated to me so my spelling!!):

Being dyslexic is horrible. You see the rest of the class doing a lot better than you, and it makes you feel like you're doing rubbishly. A lot of people do not understand the difficulties that you get, and often misjudge your abilities and insult you. Everything takes me a million trillion times longer than a normal person would take, so I have a lot less free time. Learning foreign languages is really hard, especially if they have funny alphabets or weird spelling and stupid silent letters.

To Isaac, he says: Try not to let insults about your bad reading or handwriting put you down. (That has happened to me before.)

And to NDG, he says: Get help now for your son.

I don't know Isaac, but I do know dsJ and he is a remarkably astute and 'sharp' kid. Bright, smart. And, as we see from his words, he is helpful, thoughtful and to the point! I imagine not much goes past him without him thinking about it.


I think a really important thing that often got overlooked with my peers and I think friends of children is to remind them that most people have difficulties which impact on an area of life.

Dyslexic or otherwise, some people are just not linguists/mathematicians/wordsmiths etc etc. if you have dyslexia but are bright it must be very frustrating, but at least they have intelligence! Others might be good academically but have other issues...home, health, mental health. Very few get a freely clear start in life, but positive mental attitude (along with the right help) can help everyone hugely. Top clarify, I don't mean it's ok to sit back and do nothing 'so long as one is happy' but that with an understanding that they might need support with a and b but that x and y might be better areas for them, life tends to even out in the end. I think the PMA (all other support in place) is a better place to work from than the 'victim' ( that's not quite the right word but cannot think of the right one ATM) one.

E.g. Lydia's ds, I have no doubt, could achieve pretty much anything he wanted to set his mind at. (Unless he wanted to be a butterfly or something:rotfl:).

Itismehonest

neverdespairgirl - You're bound to be concerned but it's amazing how many people have done extremely well for themselves despite being dyslexic (& with much tougher conditions).
Take a look at this

He will have talents in other ways. It's a case of helping him to find where those talents are. He may also just be later developing the reading, writing skills.
I've heard of youngsters who really struggled but then something just clicked & they were away. One boy, I recall, loved Harry Potter & that gave him the added impetus to really want to read the books which brought him on enormously.

tomterm8

I guess we should not give children eyeglasses, and let people born with bad sight find their natural talents?

What rot.

We should give the kids the support they need to fulfill their potential. Anything else is both cruel and evil.

Itismehonest

tomterm8 wrote: »

I guess we should not give children eyeglasses, and let people born with bad sight find their natural talents?

What rot.

We should give the kids the support they need to fulfill their potential. Anything else is both cruel and evil.

Of course you give them support. I didn't say otherwise.
However, making the parents &/or child feel like the child is a problem & failure is even more rot, IMO.
Not everyone will be high-flying professionals with degrees. The world needs all sorts of people with all manner of skills & talents to turn.