Wedding Loan

[Deleted User]

Lagoon wrote: »

and gifts for the most important guests.

Why would the happy couple buy gifts for the guests :huh:

Shouldn't it be the other way round?

meer53

pheonixrising21 wrote: »

So, you've never wasted money? Ever? On anything you don't need? Do you own any of the following items?

TV (and therefore TV licence/Sky/cable)
DVDs
CDs
Stereo/Hi-fi/MP3 player
Car
Pet(s)
A house in any area other than the absolute cheapest one available within a reasonable commute to work
Laptop
Phone line
Phone and/or mobile
Internet connection
Microwave
etc, etc, etc

Do you ever do any of the following things?

Go out to dinner
Order a takeaway
Go on holiday (anywhere, even camping in the UK)
Day trips out to the zoo, theme parks
etc, etc, etc

None of these things are needed. Therefore they are all a waste of money, whether you have it or not.

If it was just about the borrowing of the money for a wedding, then I could understand your point, but to say its just a waste of money whether you have it or not despite the fact that we all waste money every day is just a little hypocritical

Bit of a silly comparison really. I have all of those things. As do most people.

Apart from the house, which in my case, is an investment, none of them are likely to cost anywhere near what the OP intends to spend on ONE day. Which can be done for a fraction of that amount. If the OP had the money saved then i might be tempted to say fair enough, (might) but the OP doesn't have the money saved do they ?

The wedding business these days is out of control, for me, weddings are really boring affairs, they're all the same. I admire people who bring a bit of individuality to their weddings and aren't swayed by all the marketing hype. I have friends who are still paying for weddings after they've divorced ! Whats all that about ? :eek:

Lagoon

Bedsit_Bob wrote: »

Why would the happy couple buy gifts for the guests :huh:

Shouldn't it be the other way round?

I don't think it 'should' be any particular way. I want to recognise and thank certain people, and so does OH. Why not?

I think it's actually quite common to at least give some gifts to others, such as your best man and bridesmaids.

Katzen

Lagoon wrote: »

I don't think it 'should' be any particular way. I want to recognise and thank certain people, and so does OH. Why not?

I think it's actually quite common to at least give some gifts to others, such as your best man and bridesmaids.

I bought a small piece of jewellery for my sis, who was my bridesmaid and my OH gave his bestman a nice watch of his that he had in his collection but no longer wore. No one is saying that these gifts need to be expensive but in our case both of these people had given a lot of time, effort and emotional support throughout the process so it seemed right to thank them. We also gave little things to our parents in recognition of their help too. I'm with you Lagoon, if you can afford it then it's a nice thing to do.

I'm also with you on the earlier comment about the cost. Ours came to about 15k including rings (got some nice bling) and a lush honeymoon. We had a great day, as did all our guests, but with reference to the OP, we saved for 2 years and my Dad contributed half. If we hadn't had Dad's help we would've done it cheaper, but there's no way I would've borrowed for it.

thriftickle

I have no probem with people spending as much or as little as they like on their wedding if they have it, but would advise against borowing it if you dont. Our wedding 2 years ago cost just under £6k all in because we couldn't afford to spend more and everyone still raves about how good it was (not sure they would actually tell me if they thought it was rubbish mind!) - however I have a number of friends who spent £20/30k on their big days funded mainly by loans and whilst they were lovely, they all say now that they wish they hadn't done it as the pressure of paying it all back put enormous strain on their relationships.

Once I was passing a Church with one of these friends and a bride was just going inside, so I said how much I'd love to do it all over again, but all she could say was 'God no - am still paying for the last one!', I thought it was sad that the debt has tainted her memory of her special day.

pheonixrising21

meer53 wrote: »

Bit of a silly comparison really. I have all of those things. As do most people.

Apart from the house, which in my case, is an investment, none of them are likely to cost anywhere near what the OP intends to spend on ONE day. Which can be done for a fraction of that amount. If the OP had the money saved then i might be tempted to say fair enough, (might) but the OP doesn't have the money saved do they ?

The wedding business these days is out of control, for me, weddings are really boring affairs, they're all the same. I admire people who bring a bit of individuality to their weddings and aren't swayed by all the marketing hype. I have friends who are still paying for weddings after they've divorced ! Whats all that about ? :eek:

The relative individual cost of the items is not the point. The point is that none of these things are needed, yet you (and me, and everyone else) spend money on them. If they are not needed, then they can quite legitimately be regarded as a waste of money. We spend money on these items because we want them, not because we need them. I'm not knocking it, we all do it, its human nature.

But if you want to compare relative costs, lets do that.

The lifetime cost of a £14k wedding is, surprisingly, £14k (maybe a couple of thousand more if you borrow for it).

I don't know about you, but I plan to fulfill the "as long as you both shall live" element of my vows, so 50 years will take me to just over 80 years old, so I think an appropriate amount of time to use in such a calculation. I know some people will die sooner than this, and others will divorce, but I am planning on living as long as possible, with my wife. I've prepared for the worst (insurance etc) but I'm not planning for it. So, here goes...

Dinner out, just once a month with your partner, and spending £50 (nothing extravagant) each time on food and drink. That's £30,000 over 50 years (not including inflation).

Satellite TV? £12k in 50 years (£20 a month min package - could easily be more like £50 or even £80 a month). No inflation added in.
TV? £7k in 50 years just on the licence! Inflation and price rises not included. Say the set lasts 10 years and costs £400, thats another £2k in TV sets over 50 years. Inflation not included.

Car? £350 a year in insurance alone (average premium?) = £17.5k just in insurance over 50 years, not including the car(s), tax, fuel, maintenance, etc... Inflation not included.

Mobile? I'm estimating the average monthly contract to be £25, so thats another £15k wasted over 50 years. Even £10 a month is £6k over 50 years. Inflation not included.

Phone line? £10 a month isnt it? That's £6k over 50 years.

That's almost £90,000 just in the things I have calculated. That's enough to pay for 6 weddings, with change! And I've not even included pets, takeaways, holidays, fashion, jewelery... etc, etc.

I've already conceeded the point about borrowing money to fund the wedding, but I directly asked if people here would say the same if the OP was planning to use their own savings and you said:

I would say the same. £14k on a wedding is a waste of money, whether you have it or not.

For the record, I'm not saying that £14k is too much to spend or too little. I'm not saying that I would spend that amount or that I would spend more or that I would spend less. I'm saying it's the OP's decision as to whether its a waste of money or not. We all spend money on things which are not a necessity and therefore, by definition, could be considered wasteful.

IMO, you can advise the OP not to borrow £14k to "waste" on a wedding, but once they have that £14k (either from a loan or savings), you cannot advise them not to spend that money on something you consider wasteful. At least, not until you have cut out everything in your life which could be considered wasteful by others. Otherwise, it's just hypocritcal.

This is not a rant about people spending money they don't "need" to or spending money on things they want (wether on credit or with cold hard cash, its a rant about people being hypocrits.

I know I have a "reputation" on this site for "eccentric" views, and "condeming" other posters but I don't care. I guess this will be seen as one of those posts, purely because it goes against (read: condemns) another poster's opinion with a different (read: eccentric) one.

Here are my eccentic views I have aired:

Consolidation loans should work in the same way as motor finance, as it will mean more people will have access to them and could save money due to lower APRs/lower total repayment.
People shouldn't make assumptions and generisations based on a single (or maybe a few) post(s) without stating its an assumption and asking for clarification.
For certain purchases, and in the long run, finance options can be cheaper than saving for that item. I admit, that's a little trickier to understand, but in my experience its true.
Not all people who want a consolidation loan are currently overspending and living beyond their means.
Not all people who want a consolidation loan have zero will power and will instantly run up new debts on their credit cards on shiny new "waste of money" items.

Hope you have all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed typing it

meer53

pheonixrising21 wrote: »

The relative individual cost of the items is not the point. The point is that none of these things are needed, yet you (and me, and everyone else) spend money on them. If they are not needed, then they can quite legitimately be regarded as a waste of money. We spend money on these items because we want them, not because we need them. I'm not knocking it, we all do it, its human nature.

But if you want to compare relative costs, lets do that.

The lifetime cost of a £14k wedding is, surprisingly, £14k (maybe a couple of thousand more if you borrow for it).

I don't know about you, but I plan to fulfill the "as long as you both shall live" element of my vows, so 50 years will take me to just over 80 years old, so I think an appropriate amount of time to use in such a calculation. I know some people will die sooner than this, and others will divorce, but I am planning on living as long as possible, with my wife. I've prepared for the worst (insurance etc) but I'm not planning for it. So, here goes...

Dinner out, just once a month with your partner, and spending £50 (nothing extravagant) each time on food and drink. That's £30,000 over 50 years (not including inflation).

Satellite TV? £12k in 50 years (£20 a month min package - could easily be more like £50 or even £80 a month). No inflation added in.
TV? £7k in 50 years just on the licence! Inflation and price rises not included. Say the set lasts 10 years and costs £400, thats another £2k in TV sets over 50 years. Inflation not included.

Car? £350 a year in insurance alone (average premium?) = £17.5k just in insurance over 50 years, not including the car(s), tax, fuel, maintenance, etc... Inflation not included.

Mobile? I'm estimating the average monthly contract to be £25, so thats another £15k wasted over 50 years. Even £10 a month is £6k over 50 years. Inflation not included.

Phone line? £10 a month isnt it? That's £6k over 50 years.

That's almost £90,000 just in the things I have calculated. That's enough to pay for 6 weddings, with change! And I've not even included pets, takeaways, holidays, fashion, jewelery... etc, etc.

I've already conceeded the point about borrowing money to fund the wedding, but I directly asked if people here would say the same if the OP was planning to use their own savings and you said:



For the record, I'm not saying that £14k is too much to spend or too little. I'm not saying that I would spend that amount or that I would spend more or that I would spend less. I'm saying it's the OP's decision as to whether its a waste of money or not. We all spend money on things which are not a necessity and therefore, by definition, could be considered wasteful.

IMO, you can advise the OP not to borrow £14k to "waste" on a wedding, but once they have that £14k (either from a loan or savings), you cannot advise them not to spend that money on something you consider wasteful. At least, not until you have cut out everything in your life which could be considered wasteful by others. Otherwise, it's just hypocritcal.

This is not a rant about people spending money they don't "need" to or spending money on things they want (wether on credit or with cold hard cash, its a rant about people being hypocrits.

I know I have a "reputation" on this site for "eccentric" views, and "condeming" other posters but I don't care. I guess this will be seen as one of those posts, purely because it goes against (read: condemns) another poster's opinion with a different (read: eccentric) one.

Here are my eccentic views I have aired:

Consolidation loans should work in the same way as motor finance, as it will mean more people will have access to them and could save money due to lower APRs/lower total repayment.
People shouldn't make assumptions and generisations based on a single (or maybe a few) post(s) without stating its an assumption and asking for clarification.
For certain purchases, and in the long run, finance options can be cheaper than saving for that item. I admit, that's a little trickier to understand, but in my experience its true.
Not all people who want a consolidation loan are currently overspending and living beyond their means.
Not all people who want a consolidation loan have zero will power and will instantly run up new debts on their credit cards on shiny new "waste of money" items.

Hope you have all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed typing it

For your "unneccessary items" you will have had, if you're lucky, 50 years of service and enjoyment.

The OP's £14k is for ONE day.

suburbanwifey

meer53 wrote: »

For your "unneccessary items" you will have had, if you're lucky, 50 years of service and enjoyment.

The OP's £14k is for ONE day.

Well said!

Thegirl

meer53 wrote: »

I have friends who are still paying for weddings after they've divorced ! Whats all that about ? :eek:

I'm going through a divorce and still have debt from the wedding.
I didn't want a fuss, my husband wanted a massive event, we ended up getting married in a castle (that perfectly illustrates some issues in our relationship actually).
It was a wonderful day, truly. But if I could offer any advice it would be to not start married life in debt to pay for a wedding. you're not talking about a few extras that you are putting on a credit card that will be paid off within a year. You are talking about a huge debt that will loom over you. That will become a liability if one of you loses your job. And if you are planning on £14k now, trust me you'll end up spending more.

I'll put it another way. Ask 1000 people who spent over £10k on their wedding if they are (1) happy with what they spent on their wedding (2) wish they had spent more or (3) wish they had spent less. What do you think most people would say?

In answer to your question, no banks rarely check where the money is going (other than flags on obvious money laundering activity). However, if you are thinking of lying to your bank about what the money is for I would ask yourself why you feel the need to lie about it.

pheonixrising21

meer53 wrote: »

For your "unneccessary items" you will have had, if you're lucky, 50 years of service and enjoyment.

The OP's £14k is for ONE day.

Completely agree, we will get years of enjoyment from these items. It doesn't change the fact that we don't need them and therefore can be considered a waste of money. Its just a drip feed, regular waste of money over a long period of time, rather than one big waste in one go to last a very short period of time. Waste is waste.

But, we will remember every minute of watching TV on that random Thursday in June 2012. We'll tell our grand-kids about that drive to work in our car on that run of the mill Tuesday morning in October 2032. And, of course, we will have photos of last Wednesday's Chinese takeaway on our wall, and we'll give photos of next Wednesday's pizza to our parents for them to cherish forever.

Look, I'm not arguing against you. I happen to believe that £14k is too much to spend on a wedding and I personally wouldn't spend that much if I had it or not. But that's not my point. My point is, its not our place to say, especially if we haven't removed all traces of waste from our own life.

Do you like wine? Do you think its a waste of money to buy it? Personally, I can't stand it so any money spent on it is a waste in my view. I wouldn't stop you spending £10 on a bottle though, despite the fact you can get a different type/brand for £4.50. You can even get it on your credit card if you want to. Its none of my business, unless you ask me.

All I am saying is none of us are in a position to judge on what is a waste of money or not, unless you know where to get an identical item for less. Even then, the waste of money is only the difference in cost, not the full cost of the item. You can only judge on that if you have removed all trace of possible waste from your life.