Sh*t how do I deal withthis information??

lil_me

Good decision, before my sons start anything, like the fishing club DS1 will be going to I make sure everyone working with them are police checked and recently, if not they don't go!

vaio

anonymousie wrote: »

Thanks everyone for their input- it is so helpful to hear other views.

They attend the group with me, and apart from visits to the loo and the tea break are making music in 2 groups of 10-20 people. I think if any risk exists it is small, even the tea break is held in a big room with everyone milling around-the kids don't disappear at all (they are too busy eating cake!).

I might just contact the "responsible body" and ask what the policy is re CRB checks, but I bet there isn't one-the situation is much more like, say a church congregation, where there is a "big group activity" and coffee after, rather than the "church choir" where there are children who may be alone with an adult IYSWIM. TBH I never really thought we were attending a group where CRB checks would be done and so I am (and was )aware that the kids are no more (or less ) safe than with any bunch of "the great unwashed":rotfl:

I think maybe just a review along the lines of how to behave around people that might seem a bit "odd" might be the way forward- i.e. be polite but it isn't necessary to be over friendly if you feel at all uncomfortable with anyone, and that no one is allowed to touch/hurt you etc.

I expect, with my "rational" hat on this chap (if the allegations are right) is actually just indulging in a hobby that for many years he has enjoyed, and certainly would not have taken up in order to indulge any child interest, as for years there just haven't been any kids there! I just have to keep them as safe as possible, as I would want in any group. I certainly don't think there is any need to stop going etc, though if they were going without me I would be a bit more concerned.

Very good post, just the right balance of care & common sense in the face of what was inappropriate idle and probably malicious gossip.

vaio

Lillibet wrote: »

……….And as a church-goer, I am offended by the very inappropriately named Happychappys comments, perv's & deviants are not limited to or restricted to religious organizations you know, they are everywhere & pick their "hunting ground" according to their preference of victim & where they are likely to be trusted and so more successful! Why pick on religion as a culprit?!.............

I think you’ll find that the ranks of sex offenders are very over represented in the religious organizations. The very same organizations also have an appalling record regarding ensuring proper investigation reporting. Hush up & cover up seems to be the order of the day.

pww2004 wrote: »

………..In my church ALL people who have ANY contact with children must be CRB checked………..

Given the track record of religious organizations in this area that doesn’t surprise me one little bit

Carmina_Piranha_3

haven't things changed in churches recently? i read somewhere that sex offenders have to inform their priest

i think back when i was a lass EVERYONE covered up these things. i can't imagine nowadays that a man's name could be printed in the local paper for abusing young lads while he was at work (as a driving instructor) and him not be widely talked about. back then you could go to prison and come out again without even needing to move house because nobody spoke about paedophilia. perhaps under those circumstances some paedophiles might have used the church or teaching as a source of contact with children but in the current climate i'd be surprised if churches have a higher ratio of paedophiles than the general population.

vaio

Carmina_Piranha wrote: »

haven't things changed in churches recently? I read somewhere that sex offenders have to inform their priest

I think back when I was a lass EVERYONE covered up these things. I can't imagine nowadays that a man's name could be printed in the local paper for abusing young lads while he was at work (as a driving instructor) and him not be widely talked about. back then you could go to prison and come out again without even needing to move house because nobody spoke about paedophilia. perhaps under those circumstances some paedophiles might have used the church or teaching as a source of contact with children but in the current climate I’d be surprised if churches have a higher ratio of paedophiles than the general population.

Once a lass, always a lass

I’m sure churches have “robust policies” to deal with abuse and offenders need to inform the priest, policies have changed etc etc

The only problem is they have been saying that for years and keep on saying it as each offender/cover up gets discovered. Wasn’t it the Catholic church that had to do come “creative” accounting to protect their assets or risk being bankrupted by abuse claims?

Savvy_Sue

It doesn't sound to me as if this group would need to CRB check everyone, because children are not left in the care of unrelated adults. You can't just run CRB checks randomly, you have to show that the adults you are checking NEED to be checked.

It's also quite hard to forge CRB documents, because the organisation requesting the check gets the response direct: this results in many people having multiple checks carried out because these documents are not 'portable'.

But a CRB check only reflects the situation on the day it was posted out. They are NO substitute for teaching our children awareness of appropriate and inappropriate behaviour, and sensible responses to people who display the latter.

Errata

Wise advice from Sue. It's also worth remembering that a CRB check only shows up criminal records. Those who haven't got a record because they haven't been caught out can continue with inappropriate behaviour until they are.

joe.momma_2

I like the Google idea. That will probably work, but even if it show's nothing up, don't just think 'it's OK, he's innocent'. Check further into it.

I do think it would have been 'gossip' that started the rumour that he's a pedo. Afterall, if the first person in the group found out about it, they wouldn't just be chatting about it over a coffee with their friends (it sounds like that has happened here), they would (or should) have instantly contacted the police to have it cheked over.

So, it does sound like 'gossip'. Still, if you know that there is any possibilty that he will be left alone with ANY child (even if not your own), you should IMMEDIATELY go to your local police station and ask them to check their records. Even if they don't have the records there, make them call up the relevant department and have this guy checked out immediately.

Carmina_Piranha_3

i'm not saying he's innocent, but it seems every odd person is rumoured to be a paedophile, purely because they don't fit in well. lonely people join groups and take a big interest in them, taking supervisory roles etc. because they have time on their hands and the social contact is important to them but every 'odd' bloke i ever met was rumoured to be a paedophile by somebody or other.

of course it may be true, in which case a chat about the dangers is in order - not necessarily mentioning this man by name. even if this man is innocent it is worth mentioning something general, just so they know what's inappropriate and that they can always tell you if somebody touches them, even if that person threatens them or threatens to kill the parents etc. if they tell.

Savvy_Sue

Carmina_Piranha wrote: »

i'm not saying he's innocent, but it seems every odd person is rumoured to be a paedophile, purely because they don't fit in well. lonely people join groups and take a big interest in them, taking supervisory roles etc. because they have time on their hands and the social contact is important to them but every 'odd' bloke i ever met was rumoured to be a paedophile by somebody or other.

this is the worry I have whenever I hear people ranting about what they'd like to do to paedophiles. It's too easy for gossip or rumours to start.

Carmina_Piranha wrote: »

of course it may be true, in which case a chat about the dangers is in order - not necessarily mentioning this man by name. even if this man is innocent it is worth mentioning something general, just so they know what's inappropriate and that they can always tell you if somebody touches them, even if that person threatens them or threatens to kill the parents etc. if they tell.

As our children get older - and the OP's children are not toddlers! - I think this 'be careful' approach is often the very best we can do. Even as adults we may feel uncomfortable with someone else's behaviour, but we've (mostly) learned how to fend it off or deal with it. Whether it's grooming or dating, teenagers need to learn what to do when they're not happy with another person's approach!