Sh*t how do I deal withthis information??

poe.tuesday

there is no proof of anything so removing your children is not called for, every person who works with children has to have a crb check, you need to ensure that he has had this and request that he also has a list 99 check.

I am also astonded at the commity members comments, if she had any doubt she should raise in via the correct avenues and not scare parents and possibly cause terrible problems for this man, who may be completely innocent

Justie

the committee member is out of order and had put you in a terrible position. I would ask any of the committee members if all staff and helpers are CRB checked. It's worth speaking to your children anyway as stranger danger is over emphasised - most children are abused by someone they know and often someone within their own family. If this man is an abuser there's no reason to assume that your children are in direct danger as you don't know the details of the alleged offences. If you have specific worries about this person being actively abusive of any children though you should raise your concerns with the police.

I would also be complaining about the committee member to the chair - she has behaved terribly even if she meant well.

silvercar

Justie wrote:

If this man is an abuser there's no reason to assume that your children are in direct danger as you don't know the details of the alleged offences.

OK, so say this man is an abuser that fancies a different sex or different age-group to your children. You still cannot leave your children with him!

smileypigface

From the OP it doesn't sound like there are 'staff' at this group - it's run by a committee - so you would have to CRB all adults if children were welcome at the group.

It's not clear from the OP whether the parent stays with the children at the group or whether they are dropped off and collected later.

My advice would be, regardless of 'gossip' passed on by a committee member, that if you have any unease (as the OP clearly does from the comment about it being strange how he acts as self-appointed doorman and being the type you wouldn't sit next to on a bus) then you either stay with your children or trust another adult you know well who will look after them as diligently as you would yourself, or you simply find another group, run by a school for example, where there are staff who are CRB checked.

Just my view - good luck deciding what to do.

anonymousie

poe.tuesday wrote: »

there is no proof of anything so removing your children is not called for, every person who works with children has to have a crb check, you need to ensure that he has had this and request that he also has a list 99 check.

Thanks everyone for their input- it is so helpful to hear other views.

They attend the group with me, and apart from visits to the loo and the tea break are making music in 2 groups of 10-20 people. I think if any risk exisits it is small, even the tea break is held in a big room with everyone milling around-the kids don't disappear at all (they are too busy eating cake!).

I might just contact the "responsible body" and ask what the policy is re CRB checks, but I bet there isn't one-the situation is much more like, say a church congregation, where there is a "big group activity" and coffee after, rather than the "church choir" where there are children who may be alone with an adult IYSWIM. TBH I never really thought we were attending a group where CRB checks would be done and so I am (and was )aware that the kids are no more (or less ) safe than with any bunch of "the great unwashed":rotfl:

I think maybe just a review along the lines of how to behave around people that might seem a bit "odd" might be the way forward- ie be polite but it isn't necessary to be over friendly if you feel at all uncomfortable with anyone, and that noone is allowed to touch/hurt you etc.

I expect, with my "rational" hat on this chap (if the allegations are right) is actually just indulging in a hobby that for many years he has enjoyed, and certainly would not have taken up in order to indulge any child interest, as for years there just haven't been any kids there! I just have to keep them as safe as possible, as I would want in any group. I certainly don't think there is any need to stop going etc, though if they were going without me I would be a bit more concerned.

pulliptears

Difficult. But even though this could be idle gossip I think you should act on it, if only having a word with the rest of the committee. Im sure you would rather have got it wrong and done something about it than got it right and done nothing.
((hugs))

Errata

It seems to me that responsible people doing unpaid organised activities with children would welcome being CRB checked. This is a matter for the chair of the committe. Why not ask for sight of all the group's policy documents?
Another thought - sometimes, just sometimes, as gents age they can become quite sex oriented and their boundaries get a bit blurred, which is something to be aware of in the same way one would be aware of any other behaviour which seems a bit outside the norm for the context.
Trust your gut instinct on this, if he feels creepy he probably is. Far too many kids are exposed to adult inappropriate behaviour because it takes place in the setting of a friendly, informal community activity.

tattooedhoney

Your area / town should have police officers who deal with high risk offenders ( both sex offenders and other types of offenders)
They are sometimes called HRO's ( High risk offenders) They will have the job of monitoring offenders ( those who are on registers and those who have offended but are deemed to be a risk to some section of the community)
I see no harm in you contacting your local HRO with the details of this man and your concerns.
They will not tell you if he is an offender but if he should not be involved or is a risk at least they will be aware of his activites.
If he is innocent then no harm will be done.

I agree with the fact that it may be gossip , But your children are more likely to be abused by family members or people close to them/you.

But if you are worried about it then tell the police.. you pay their wages! see if they can put your mind at rest!

mclaren_2

The main question i ahve to ask is where she got this information.

The police will not give out this information, and nor will the courts. Since it was before the sex offenders register, this aleged crime took place over 10 years ago.

Also, it is extremly unlikley, if he IS guilty, that he would be living in the same area so it is harder to find the truth.

I very much doubt any "volinteers" would be CRB/ crimit/ pnc checked prior to getting the "job" as it is A) unpaid, local comitte and C) costs per check of which, is volentry, and even if they did, they could edit pages on computer, make their own up, etc....

Sad thing is, we live in an unsafe world - we do not know who is safe and who is not. The question asked above of why he would work in a music group is quite simple. If he IS guilty, he will not beable to access schools or anywhere else DUE to security checks - so if he can get access to kids.... even 1.....

As for going to the toilet - all that needs to happen is CCTV in the halls and or a person to go with the kids to the toilet (who is parent or trusted member) to make sure everything is safe.

Idol gossip is extremly dangerous though. Who knows if this guy was in jail for burglery and came out with that tag because he does not want to tell ppl why he was in, and ppl have came up with the assumption he is a kiddy fiddler.... but also, do remember that "assaulting" 2 teenage girls - that could mean anything from a father hitting his child, step dad, anything...... and if it was sexually, 17yr old who turns 18 within weeks..... its still classed as it...

dont jump to conclusions, dont listen to gossip and before you take any action, you need solid evedance / proof or he could sue for harrasment, slander, defomation of charator or he could even end up dead......

pww2004

Quote from happychappy "taking them to a church with all the pervs and deviants working in the religous business"

Happychappy, I find this completley offensive and insulting. Just because you do not seem to like an organisation does not give you the right to slander them. Will you please retact your statemant, (If s/he does not, could more experienced forum members advise how I can complain to get happychappy removed?)

In my church ALL people who have ANY contact with children must be CRB checked. Is that the case in all organistaions you deal with?

As regards the issue of the gentleman, could you not ask that as children are involved anybody whos has a "supervisory" role be CRB checked and this may help your mind to be put at rest as unsubstantiated allegations should be treated as just that?

Apologies for the rant, but I dislike strongly being tarred with a brush and not replying.