Sh*t how do I deal withthis information??

anonymousie

I take the elder 2 kids to a music group (13 and 11 yrs). A comitee member has phoned me as she felt (as the only member who brings kids) I should know that one of the elderly gents has been to prison some years ago for assaulting 2 teenage girls.
This was prior to the sex offenders register, so we don't know if it was a sexual offence, but that seems to be what she understands I think.

I'm not sure what to do really. THis guy is a bit of an odd bod anyway and certainly put my vibes up as the sort you wouldn't sit next to on the bus, but I don't know whether the kids have this reaction.

Apparently he has suggested at the comittee meeting that we should encourage schools to be more active in the society and this has been percieved as at the least not tactful of him (he is an intelligent , educated chap) and that small groups should meeting in houses and the society should arrage these (but most people do meet in small groups, they just exclude him as he is odd I think!!).

It is worrying that he sees himself as "doorman" and stands in the hall alone whilst others are in big groups at meetings, I guess a child popping to the loo could be vulnerable.

In someways I think maybe a general chat about people that may harm children not necessarily being "strangers" but people that know you may be enough, but do I spell out who to the kids?? EEKKK

BTW he doesn't seem to "home in" on them at coffee time or anything in the same was as the odd gent in the nightie who attended once did with DS

Any advice??? Be gentle, I'm not out for any hue and cry against this chap

misty

A couple of things

How does this woman know about these alleged assaults? A loner can possibly be the object of gossip and this can get out of hand etc.

If it is true as a group/committe who may become involved with young people - do they not need to have a CRB check? If they haven't already could they ask those involved to have one? If he is dodgy then this may act as a deterrant.

Alternatively - you could ask him outright if there are any truth in the allegations?

Zara33

I'm assuming your have all the relevant policies including a child protection policy The committee member is acting very unprofessional, if this person has any doubt regarding another person, the committee should seek guidance from the appropriate authorities no just phone and scare other parents!

Also as misty has already pointed out i assume you all have a CRB check when working with children, regardless if it is paid employment or voluntary.

Happychappy

Im afraid you are no safer taking them to music lessons as you are taking them to a church with all the pervs and deviants working in the religous business.

So really you have to just talk to your children, without frightening them, and discuss how things went that day without drawing attention to the acts of this individual from years ago, that is "if" he was guilty.

Im afraid it is a dog eat dog world but that doesnt stop day to day business, and as long as your children understand it is a "diverse" world and not to always have faith or trust in people in positions of power or responsibility and be open and honest with you as their mum or dad, that really is all you can do as a parent.

comping_cat

Maybe have a word with your children, not saying about anyone in particular, but a general 'stranger' chat, but a more grown up one than the one we give children when they are small.
That way, you will be making sure your children know what to be looking out for, and they can tell you if they think something might be suspicious. You wont be telling them 'so and so says that the old bloke 'might' be a pervert', just that there are 'perverts' about.
Having been given this information, i would want to do something, but you cant just act on hearsay, but by giving your children information, you will be doing something.

silvercar

A comitee member has phoned me as she felt (as the only member who brings kids) I should know that one of the elderly gents has been to prison some years ago for assaulting 2 teenage girls.

This committee member is bang out of order. idle gossip is so dangerous.

Go back to the committee member and ask he/ she to find out if all the staff (paid and volunteers) have been CRB checked. People can't pass on the problem by telling parents but not acting on it themselves. The committee member who has the information has a duty to act and sort this out.

wifeforlife

I think it's probably a good idea to have a chat to your children about sex offenders, peodophiles and such. Now is probably a good time to highlight this with such a high profile abduction as Madeline McCann and rumours of peodophilia being in the media. Also with the like of the Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman campaign too, as their attacker/murderer was someone they knew and where familiar with.

It's such a difficult subject, I dont envy you having to do it but I have it all to come, unfortunately this is the world we live in

Goodluck
Cate

ailuro2

If he is a paedophile then would he be hanging aorund a music group that only had 2 kids at it, who come accompanied by their parent?

I agree you need to be wary, and yes, have a chat about people kids know being more of a threat than 'stranger danger'

emmaroids

surely if theres a tiny hint that this guy could be a pedo you need to pull your kids out of there asap.

then find out for sure and if all is ok send them back.

marty1888

silvercar wrote: »

This committee member is bang out of order. idle gossip is so dangerous.

Go back to the committee member and ask he/ she to find out if all the staff (paid and volunteers) have been CRB checked. People can't pass on the problem by telling parents but not acting on it themselves. The committee member who has the information has a duty to act and sort this out.

Totally agree.
Maybe the committee member has issues with the guy she is essentially slandering to people and is trying to ruin his reputation. Without hard evidence then she shouldnt even have brought it up.

Jolaaled

I think it's absolutely vital that you act on your concerns.

Your local authority should have a 'Safeguading Children's' group. You can phone them anonymously, and just tell them what your worried about. They will then advise you how to proceed.