friend is pregnant

Ladyhawk

I have made no secret that I don't actually want to have children. I adore my nieces and nephews and my friends kids but I don't actually want little ones of my own. i don't understand them and don't have any maternal instincts.

So why, when a lovely friend who I have known for well over 10 years, announced she was 15 weeks pregnant tonight am I completely knocked for 6? I am obviously delighted for her and her husband and think that they will be awesome parents... but my first emotion after them telling me to was to well up?

I am single and have been for a long time. I am content with this... yes it would be nice to have a man in my life but in reality this is not a massive priority for me.

Anyway else feel like this?

Gillyx

Could it be something to do with your biological clock? My aunt was like this, never wanted kids, enjoyed others but wasn't fussed on any of her own and when she started nearing the menopause she suddenly had feelings of wanting a child, but they did pass and obviously she is happy she didn't do it.

Apologies if I'm well off the mark

Also if there is anything in your life that is making you unhappy at the moment? Maybe your friend being so happy could have made you feel a bit down?

suki1001

Perhaps you are simply really happy for them, or perhaps, it's just made you think about it a bit more. I think sometimes, when things like this happen, you realise you have feelings locked up inside? That's just a guess.

Courgette

Maybe you're worried about the impact on your friendship?

Netwizard

I am a bloke so might well feel different about this compared to a female but quite a few of my friends have kids. Its a bloody nightmare.

Obviously I'm happy that they are happy and I don't mind popping round for a cuppa for an hour, but quite often leave feeling drained and thinking "glad thats not me".

People say that feeling changes when their your own, but I don't buy that. Nothing will change my mind, but thats just my opinion.

I don't ever want kids. Being single and 29, most women either now have kids, or want them very soon.

As long as your happy, thats all that matters

Ladyhawk

Im not worried about our friendship. She lives in Edinburgh and Im in London. Plus I doubt she is te type that lets a baby get in the way of living her life. As in she'll just strap it to her back and get on with things.

Im 33 and quite possibly its a biological thing... but I really don' think that motherhood is me... it is such an alien concept!

Im also not unhappy at the moment... in fact Im the happiest that I have been for a couple of years after resignng from a job which made me so unhappy. I haven't stopped smiling since I handed in my notice.

I appreciate that if I met the right guy he may be able to change my mind but I just really don't like kids!

Tigerprint

I feel exactly the same, I don't think I have the maternal baby 'thing/need' in me at all

I'm always pleased I didn't have children, I feel a free spirit & would hate the commitment of a child.....

pigpen

Was it a 'happy for you' type welling up though? Or a sad thing?

When my sister told me she was pregnant I burst into tears in the middle of a shop, squealed like a girl and hugged her lots, such was my joy for her.. (she had been trying for 4.5 years)

Other peoples children are horrible.. you either want to slap them, the parents or both.. you don't feel the same about your own.. well, maybe not all the time.

Each to their own.. you can be an honorary aunt much for fun than having your own.

DUTR

Netwizard wrote: »

I am a bloke so might well feel different about this compared to a female but quite a few of my friends have kids. Its a bloody nightmare.

Obviously I'm happy that they are happy and I don't mind popping round for a cuppa for an hour, but quite often leave feeling drained and thinking "glad thats not me".

People say that feeling changes when their your own, but I don't buy that. Nothing will change my mind, but thats just my opinion.

I don't ever want kids. Being single and 29, most women either now have kids, or want them very soon.

As long as your happy, thats all that matters

I got in trouble when I was 33 so there is still time .

Valli

Ladyhawk wrote: »

Im 33 and quite possibly its a biological thing... but I really don' think that motherhood is me... it is such an alien concept!

ah yes...
I hit 30 and BOY did that clock tick LOUD and LONG. This was the point when I too started to be sick with envy if friends/relatives were pregnant.

Mind you I also decided that I did want children; very much.

Metranil_Vavin

It took me till I got to 36 to feel the clock ticking, I never cared for children prior to that and in fact it wasn't till my younger sister had her first that I started really longing for one.

I'm not massively into other people's kids either, but it really is different with your own.