What would you do?

michelle2008

I completely agree that you don't need an extension to have a baby - if you really want a child and you feel you can afford it then of course that is your choice. But you need to address the difference between need and want on other choices - like the extension. Perhaps giving into temptation so easily is how you dug yourself into this financial hole?

On the games - I am amazed your OH has been able to build up the collection given your precarious financial position.

Morally you should use the money to pay your debts rather than treat yourself. Sorry if that sounds harsh - I would love to extend my house - but it would not be a wise financial decision. That is life.

ValHaller

MrsHunter wrote: »

Although I genuinely don't care about a bigger house other than room for the kids. Do you know if we are likely to need 20% or more deposit if we are ever to get another mortgage? ( I'm talking distant future here)

Too little info. Do you have a mortgage at the moment? If so how much do you owe and how much is the house worth?

I would say that you may be in with a chance of a mortgage between 3 and 5 years after your DMP debts are settled in full - or 6 years after partial settlements. Probably you would start to be looked at with more than 15% deposit. But things will change by the time you reach that point.

dotchas

Can I turn the tables?

What if someone owed you money and was in a poor position financially?
You agreed to accept £150 pm
Then you hear that the husband has a new job earning another £300pm
Would you like to hear that they were spending that on luxuries (which I consider an extension to a 3 bed house to be)

Put all your energies and assets to clearing the debt and then reassess the situation.

I would never say that someone should only have 1 or 2 children but I feel strongly that they should be able to afford them.

ValHaller

michelle2008 wrote: »

.... On the games - I am amazed your OH has been able to build up the collection given your precarious financial position.

I am completely unamazed at the precarious financial position given the collection he appears to have built up

MrsHunter

ValHaller wrote: »

I am completely unamazed at the precarious financial position given the collection he appears to have built up

How rude and presumptuous. My husband has built this collection from a £30 game. He has never, ever touched a penny of his wages or mine to build it. The purpose of the collection has always been that within 1-2 years from now he would sell it to repay our debt. He has built the collection solely from buying and selling games.

MrsHunter

Anyway, thanks everyone for your input. I'm going to ring Stepchange today and increase our payments and will look at offering full and final settlements next year some time.
Thank you again.

harrys_dad

Well it seems you have made a good decision in the end, however you got there, so well done.

lesgeo2012

Debt is like a shackle round your neck, get rid of it quick whilst you can as nobody knows what's round the corner. Circumstances change in the blink of an eye. No harm in making plans for a baby once the debt is gone.

sickasachip13

MrsHunter wrote: »

How rude and presumptuous. My husband has built this collection from a £30 game. He has never, ever touched a penny of his wages or mine to build it. The purpose of the collection has always been that within 1-2 years from now he would sell it to repay our debt. He has built the collection solely from buying and selling games.

...but while he was 'building' his collection you clearly weren't paying with 'real' money for other things...otherwise how would you have accrued such a significant debt?

We owed about the same as you, a couple of years back, and we've paid off over £10k of it in that time. If we'd had an additional £300 income we would have chucked that at the debt. We sold pretty much anything valuable that wasn't of significant emotional value.

Why did we do that? Because, like you, we are in significant debt. We don't even really own that stuff - the creditors own it. I'm sorry if this seems harsh but you don't seem have grasped that over £40k of your possessions have been bought with someone else's money and you haven't yet paid that back?

I fear that if/when you get out of this debt hole, you will slide straight into another one. After all, you already have this debt - which you're not really throwing everything at - and you're already talking about accumulating more debt and financial obligations.

I am quite stunned. But, each to their own!

SAAC

MrsHunter

sickasachip13 wrote: »

...but while he was 'building' his collection you clearly weren't paying with 'real' money for other things...otherwise how would you have accrued such a significant debt?

We owed about the same as you, a couple of years back, and we've paid off over £10k of it in that time. If we'd had an additional £300 income we would have chucked that at the debt. We sold pretty much anything valuable that wasn't of significant emotional value.

Why did we do that? Because, like you, we are in significant debt. We don't even really own that stuff - the creditors own it. I'm sorry if this seems harsh but you don't seem have grasped that over £40k of your possessions have been bought with someone else's money and you haven't yet paid that back?

I fear that if/when you get out of this debt hole, you will slide straight into another one. After all, you already have this debt - which you're not really throwing everything at - and you're already talking about accumulating more debt and financial obligations.

I am quite stunned. But, each to their own!

SAAC

Where exactly am I talking about accumulating more debt? Oh and my husband has been collecting for two years. Our debt was accrued a long time before that. Jeez it must be hard being so perfect!