What would you do?

Heffi1

When you signed up to the DMP you agreed that you would not take on anymore credit while you were paying it back and you would let then know of any changes to your circumstances. An extra £300 per month sounds like a change to your circumstances.

By all means call stepchange and tell them of your plans and see if they are as accommodating as you expect people on here to be.

Then give them a piece of your mind on how presumptious and rude they are to deny you to fall deeper into that pit you have dug for yourself.

People are not being rude to you, they are trying to make you see sense.

If you do want another child then that is a nice thing to want, but make sure you can afford one first, not need to claim any sort of benefit, as I and many other workers will be the ones paying for the luxury of you having another child...

Determined_diva

MrsHunter wrote: »

Annoyed that you wasted time? What like 30 seconds. My god get a grip woman!

Oh I'm sorry mrs hunter.. I thought it was you who needed to get a grip!!!! :rotfl:

MrsHunter

Do you all still really feel the need to post sarastic and horrible things to me when you can see that I have said I understand and I am going to contact Stepchang? Do you have nothing better to do? I suffer with anxiety and the responses on this thread have left me feeling terrible. I understand that I came on here asking for advice and I understand that I was wrong in my initial post however can you not just leave it now? Every time I log on there is another horrible post. Yes I'm sorry I was wrong. I have been very very stupid with money in the past. I regret that, of course I do. I am trying to find a way to do what is right for my family. I desperately want another baby as I just know that my family is not complete. For reasons I do not wish to go in to I have a limited time frame in which to do this. Do none of you understand this desire? It breaks my heart that I got us in to this situation. I have had a wake up call today, I've decided to look for some part time work, depsite really wanting to be with my children. My husband and I have discussed possibly selling our car, we wouldn't get much but we would have around £1000 if we bought a cheaper car. I'm going to write to all our creditors tomorrow and offer F&F settlements, if not we will increase our monthly payments to the absolute maximum and live as frugally as possible. There you see, I've taken on board what you have said. Now please just back off. There is no need to keep replying and posting when I haven't added to the thread. You know what, I am a good person, a loving mother not some sort of money grabbing monster.

H

The_Boss

megan01 wrote: »

I really don't mean to sound abrupt or harsh, I understand you really want a third child, but in order to have a third child, you need to have the means to feed, clothe and water the child, which you don't when you are in so much debt.

Focus on doing everything you can to clear the DMP. Don't then get into more debt with your family to build an extension. Live within your means, if you want another child once you have cleared your DMP , then find a bigger house within your budget, whether this is in a different area or different style of house or whatever.

Agreed.

"If it was me" then child 3 is not an option til after the debt has been paid off. Wait 2 years, sell the games collection and then perhaps offer it as final settlement. If they accept, save a year for the sake of the kids, then only hsve number 3 if all 3 can be properly supported without building a mountain of debt.

The debt repaid will be much less than run up so would be grateful that I've already got away with so much that financially responsible people have to sacrifice to pay debts.

Mummyxof2x

The_Boss wrote: »

Agreed.

"If it was me" then child 3 is not an option til after the debt has been paid off. Wait 2 years, sell the games collection and then perhaps offer it as final settlement. If they accept, save a year for the sake of the kids, then only hsve number 3 if all 3 can be properly supported without building a mountain of debt.

The debt repaid will be much less than run up so would be grateful that I've already got away with so much that financially responsible people have to sacrifice to pay debts.

Did you not just read my post above????????

Determined_diva

MrsHunter wrote: »

Do you all still really feel the need to post sarastic and horrible things to me when you can see that I have said I understand and I am going to contact Stepchang? Do you have nothing better to do? I suffer with anxiety and the responses on this thread have left me feeling terrible. I understand that I came on here asking for advice and I understand that I was wrong in my initial post however can you not just leave it now? Every time I log on there is another horrible post. Yes I'm sorry I was wrong. I have been very very stupid with money in the past. I regret that, of course I do. I am trying to find a way to do what is right for my family. I desperately want another baby as I just know that my family is not complete. For reasons I do not wish to go in to I have a limited time frame in which to do this. Do none of you understand this desire? It breaks my heart that I got us in to this situation. I have had a wake up call today, I've decided to look for some part time work, depsite really wanting to be with my children. My husband and I have discussed possibly selling our car, we wouldn't get much but we would have around £1000 if we bought a cheaper car. I'm going to write to all our creditors tomorrow and offer F&F settlements, if not we will increase our monthly payments to the absolute maximum and live as frugally as possible. There you see, I've taken on board what you have said. Now please just back off. There is no need to keep replying and posting when I haven't added to the thread. You know what, I am a good person, a loving mother not some sort of money grabbing monster.

H

Mrs hunter,

That is possibly the best message you have written.
Why? Because you are starting to be honest!
I have no I deliberate intention to mock you - and my comments are surrounding the extension not the child
although you are lucky to have 2 (I have none) I completely understand about time frames.

BUT to hide behind extensions is my query.

In The end : do what you want - your asking for advice and then Being severely defensive on any responses ( not just mine) .

I want you to have your light bulb moment and start paying off and saving up for a better future for your whole family.

I too want an extension like most, but we have to face reality that we are in debt and that needs to be our priority in eliminating I order to move forward in life.

Ps -
1.you post on a public forum so I don't need to be "invited" to chat on your thread.
2. We (or at least I) am not trying to be horrible.. Just reading your threads it's clear to see you need tough love

Good luck with the future and hope it all works out for you

pelirocco

I would like the crystal ball that tells you this collection will be worth £20k in 2 years, or even the secret behind building a collection in a short time without using cash.

Paying just £150 a month will take a very long time to pay off your debt , and I would guess getting a mortgage while still on a dmp won't be easy

In my view having another child isn't a problem

The_Boss

MrsHunter wrote: »

Whilst I appreciate your reply. I did say that the having another child was not up for discussion and it's not. We are currently in a much better position financially and could pay off more of the debt. My concern is then being stuck in this house forever.

Your thread asks "What would you do?" and therefore people are saying what they would do. It also appears that almost everyone is less "me me me" than you, looks at the bigger picture and is more realistic. Sorry if it is not what you want to hear, but perhaps if you had adopted such an attitiude then you would not have ended up with such a mountain of debt and could have a third child guilt and debt free.

gfplux

A collection worth £10,000 now that will be worth £20,000 in two years time. Says who?
It's not my field but any investment that will double in value is very hard to find. You therefore should be using any spare cash you have to add to the collection of games.

The_Boss

Mummyxof2x wrote: »

Did you not just read my post above????????

No. I didn't. I did read a thread that asked "What would you do?" and replied saying what I would do. If you are so sensitive then perhaps you should not read threads where people are asked what they would do. There was nothing at all rude or offensive in my post. Thanks in advance for your apology.