What would you do?

Upsidedown_Bear

MrsHunter wrote: »

Do you all still really feel the need to post sarastic and horrible things to me when you can see that I have said I understand and I am going to contact Stepchang? Do you have nothing better to do? I suffer with anxiety and the responses on this thread have left me feeling terrible. I understand that I came on here asking for advice and I understand that I was wrong in my initial post however can you not just leave it now? Every time I log on there is another horrible post. Yes I'm sorry I was wrong. I have been very very stupid with money in the past. I regret that, of course I do. I am trying to find a way to do what is right for my family. I desperately want another baby as I just know that my family is not complete. For reasons I do not wish to go in to I have a limited time frame in which to do this. Do none of you understand this desire? It breaks my heart that I got us in to this situation. I have had a wake up call today, I've decided to look for some part time work, depsite really wanting to be with my children. My husband and I have discussed possibly selling our car, we wouldn't get much but we would have around £1000 if we bought a cheaper car. I'm going to write to all our creditors tomorrow and offer F&F settlements, if not we will increase our monthly payments to the absolute maximum and live as frugally as possible. There you see, I've taken on board what you have said. Now please just back off. There is no need to keep replying and posting when I haven't added to the thread. You know what, I am a good person, a loving mother not some sort of money grabbing monster.

H

Mummyxof2x wrote: »

Did you not just read my post above????????

OK, I'm confused.
Has the OP changed her username?

MrsHunter

No sorry my IPhone had me logged in as my old user name. Didn't realise.

StumpyPumpy

MrsHunter wrote: »

No sorry my IPhone had me logged in as my old user name. Didn't realise.

An old user name that was registered today?
These IPhones are more advanced than I thought.

The_Boss

StumpyPumpy wrote: »

An old user name that was registered today?
These IPhones are more advanced than I thought.

Hmm...

Even more galling is the number of thanked posts this user has (almost 10 for every post). I looked at their posts and there was nothing even remotely helpful about any of them.

The_Frugal_Frog_2

I don't have anything to say about the DMP, game collection or extension but I do fully understand your desire for another child.

I would love a second child but we can't afford it. We have debts (although not to the extent of yours) and a mortgage. We are clearing our debts in the way we agreed to when we signed the credit agreements (with a little bit extra thrown in following my LBM!) and hope to be DF within 2 years. We work hard and are not entitled to a penny in tax credits etc. I work two days a week and half of my salary pays the nursery fees - I really envy you being a SAHM!! I'm not complaining though because these are the choices I made.

Personally, it is so important to me to teach my 18 mth old daughter how to manage and take responsibility for money from an early age and I don't want her to miss out on anything because of debts we accumulated in our 20's. We know that we will have a far better standard of living once the debt is gone and this is what keeps us going, also dd will still be young enough never to have learnt our bad habits. I don't want my dd to make the same financial mistakes that we have and grow up thinking that debt is a normal way of life.

I'm not criticising and I am far from perfect but sometimes you have to step back and appreciate what you already have, and what's best for the family as a whole. We all have to make sacrifices at times - it's crap but that's life for ya!

This forum rocks and I can see some valid and helpful points made in this thread so please don't to be too sensitive

Good Luck with everything,
Froggy x

katsu

I'm sorry you have been upset by some of the posts. Having a child is a very emotive topic so I am not surprised that being advised to wait has been painful.

People who post here are generally committed to getting or staying DF and can see that you are not fully onboard with reducing your debt as fast as you can, and that you still have your heart wanting to do things that maybe your head should say you can't yet afford.

Children can share rooms, and you can do a lot on a SAHM lifestyle that you'd not have thought of, from shopping in markets and batch cooking to free play in the park instead of at costly activities. There are options and ideas here for you on forums like Old Style, here on DFW and all over the place. Froggy's post is very lovely and I hope it helps you.

Good luck.