Does a long distance relationships work?

Gemma__3

I've been lurking for ages and read this forum today and thought it was great. So here I am

I live in Plymouth and my partner lives and works in Manchester. We travel to see each other at every oppotunity. We have been together about 8 months.

The train tickets for me are expensive even the advance tickets. My partner drives down I guess it costs him a fair bit.

We skype and call alot, I just worry that he is getting sick of the distance (He has NEVER said anything to suggest this) and I worry about the costs. Ive been down a bit recently and been thinking does Long Distance ever work? Does anyone have any ideas in our situation to see each other cheaper?

fluffnutter

Do you have plans to ever live in the same town or is it too early for that?

Gemma__3

Yeah, Its on the cards in a good few months.

fluffnutter

Gemma_ wrote: »

Yeah, Its on the cards in a good few months.

I think that's the thing.. relationships need to move forwards else they stagnate. If you live far apart, things won't ever progress until you're able to be together more frequently, and ultimately live together.

For me, a long distance relationship could only ever be temporary.

System

Is megabus an option? Fares for that are usually a couple of quid.

How old are you? If you're aged 16-26 you can get a young persons rail card which will knock a 1/3 off train tickets.

I'm long distance too (bf is also in manchester-though im not quite as far away as you) and i think it can work, but you have to both put in the effort to make it work.. Could you split fares/petrol so you pay a bit each? My bf always comes to see me (he still lives at home-i have my own place) but we alternate paying the train fare. And at the minute he can't come up for another 2 weeks (will have been 3 in total since he last stayed) and he was feeling a bit crap so i had a day trip up to see him, just spending a few hours with him is better than nothing (though i appriciate this might not be an option for you).

Keep talking, i think communication is VERY important in any relationship but especially long distance. My bf and i talk everyday on FB/skype, and we call each other a few times a day as well as texting. .

Can't think of any other advice right now, but i'm a firm beleiver they can work (and am determined to make mine work-i see a future with him and i'll be damned if i'm letting 30+ miles come between us ) My bf is 4 years younger than me (22) so realistically i don't see us moving in for another year or more yet but i'd like to move there eventually.

Gemma__3

fluffnutter wrote: »

I think that's the thing.. relationships need to move forwards else they stagnate. If you live far apart, things won't ever progress until you're able to be together more frequently, and ultimately live together.

For me, a long distance relationship could only ever be temporary.

I feel exactly the same, I'm just saving up to move up North, My employer has an office in Manchester that I can move to.

We Skype video call at every oppotunity and recently we have been seeing each other every 2 weeks for the last few months. I just miss him so much

angelil

I was also going to suggest Megabus or Megatrain Internal flights may also be cheaper than the train.

From my perspective, LDRs can definitely work: I met a nice bloke online in November 2004. We finally met up in IRL in February 2005 and began an international LDR (him in France, me in the UK). This carried on until I finished my studies in summer 2008, despite gaps between visits of sometimes as much as 10 weeks. I finally moved to France to be with him in September 2008. We were engaged in summer 2009 and married in April 2011. Here we are still happy

I know it's hard, but don't give up. For me, being with him LDR and knowing there was a light at the end of the tunnel was better than the alternative of not being with him at all. Feel free to PM me at any time if you want to chat

Gemma__3

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

Is megabus an option? Fares for that are usually a couple of quid.

How old are you? If you're aged 16-26 you can get a young persons rail card which will knock a 1/3 off train tickets.

Megabus works out at £32.00 each way and a whole day on the coach (0625 getting in at 1430) compared to the train which is a few hours

I'm long distance too (bf is also in manchester-though im not quite as far away as you) and i think it can work, but you have to both put in the effort to make it work.. Could you split fares/petrol so you pay a bit each? My bf always comes to see me (he still lives at home-i have my own place) but we alternate paying the train fare. And at the minute he can't come up for another 2 weeks (will have been 3 in total since he last stayed) and he was feeling a bit crap so i had a day trip up to see him, just spending a few hours with him is better than nothing (though i appriciate this might not be an option for you).

He pays for his fuel (he doesn't complain he says its worth every penny just for one little hug off me) and sometimes pays for my train fares to see him. I'd love a day trip but it would be either a case of get off the train, see him at the station and go back or I stay over night.

Keep talking, i think communication is VERY important in any relationship but especially long distance. My bf and i talk everyday on FB/skype, and we call each other a few times a day as well as texting. .

We talk lots I love skype and facebook chat too.

Can't think of any other advice right now, but i'm a firm beleiver they can work (and am determined to make mine work-i see a future with him and i'll be damned if i'm letting 30+ miles come between us ) My bf is 4 years younger than me (22) so realistically i don't see us moving in for another year or more yet but i'd like to move there eventually.

I'm the younger one of us, He is 25 I am 23. He is the only guy who has treated me with respect and I really don't want to loose him

Gemma__3

angelil wrote: »

I was also going to suggest Megabus or Megatrain Internal flights may also be cheaper than the train.

From my perspective, LDRs can definitely work: I met a nice bloke online in November 2004. We finally met up in IRL in February 2005 and began an international LDR (him in France, me in the UK). This carried on until I finished my studies in summer 2008, despite gaps between visits of sometimes as much as 10 weeks. I finally moved to France to be with him in September 2008. We were engaged in summer 2009 and married in April 2011. Here we are still happy

I know it's hard, but don't give up. For me, being with him LDR and knowing there was a light at the end of the tunnel was better than the alternative of not being with him at all. Feel free to PM me at any time if you want to chat

Internal flights are much more expensive and means I have to go past manchester to come back on myself.

Thank you I will take you up on that

notanewuser

I've had a few LDRs in my time with similar distances to yours. They really suited me, to be honest. One of us would travel each weekend. Holidays were really special.

The last one progressed in that we both moved to a new city for work after about 18 months, and lived together as a result. We got engaged, then married, then moved back to my home town and now time has passed and we've been married nearly 9 years and have a 2 year old daughter.

The only downside to it is how much we have to travel for him to be able to see his family.

Gemma__3

notanewuser wrote: »

I've had a few LDRs in my time with similar distances to yours. They really suited me, to be honest. One of us would travel each weekend. Holidays were really special.

The last one progressed in that we both moved to a new city for work after about 18 months, and lived together as a result. We got engaged, then married, then moved back to my home town and now time has passed and we've been married nearly 9 years and have a 2 year old daughter.

The only downside to it is how much we have to travel for him to be able to see his family.

Thank you

Nothing is tying me to plymouth. My parents now live abroad. So I'd happily move to Manchester