Need a rant!

hellsbells0405_2

Hi guys,

This is just really a rant.

I have been with my OH for 2 years (known him for 26ish!) everyone told me not to get with him as he was "bad news". A known womaniser etc.

It started off great we had 2 weeks where you could call it a "honeymoon period" but after that he lost interest. It got to the point where I did split up with him once but he manged to worm his way back in stupid me.

We then got a flat together, more for the fact that I couldnt live with my parents anymore.

We havent been right for some time we live separate lives more or less and when we are together we can fight.

He hates me seeing my friends, he's more or less said he is jealous of me! He can be verbally abusive at times as well. My self esteem is now zero.

He was a known womanizer and sex addict. But since about 6 months in he hasnt wanted to know me that way really we can go months with no physical contact.

Basically he has broken me.

I think he hates that I earn more than him. He was declared bankrupt 6 years ago and never recovered.

I am scared to leave (everything in the house is mine), and scared to throw him out (in case I cant cope financially). I really dont know what to do anymore

Any advice?

Tiglath

I think you know in your heart that it's over; he doesn't seem to have any redeeming qualities whatsoever from what you've said, so why waste more time with him. Sit down and work out your financial position to see where you would stand on your own and then get him to leave. Could you take in a lodger if money was really tight?

sassyblue

hellsbells0405 wrote: »

It started off great we had 2 weeks where you could call it a "honeymoon period" but after that he lost interest.

2 WEEKS??!!!

He hasn't broken you yet because you're here asking for advice and thinking of ways out.

There are other threads here about leaving relationships, look up 'ostrichnomore's thread.

GOOD LUCK, it sounds like you're at the end of your tether and you CAN get rid of him, there's nothing you can't do! I expect he'll give you a hard time and a guilt trip but take it for what it is - desperation. xx

mummybearx

Get a SOA together and post on the Debt free wanabee board.

You will get some great advise on how to manage your finances, how to cope with the flat on your own.

DO NOT allow yourself to be bullied and victimised any more!

hellsbells0405_2

Thank you for your support it means a lot

The other thing about him that bothers me is that he has a child,who, for whatever reason he made up excuse after excuse not to see him (at one point saying he had cancer, another time said he has dodgy pictures on his pc- this was before I was with him). He doesnt pay CSA as he seems to be able to dodge this through changing jobs etc....I just despair on that aspect I have had enough of arguing through it with him.

But then he says he wants a child with me, and cannot understand why I dont want to?!!

BitterAndTwisted

HE WANTS A CHILD WITH YOU SO HE CAN GET YOU WELL AND TRULY TRAPPED!

Figure out how you can buy him out then chuck him out and take in a lodger.

hellsbells0405_2

Its a rented flat so there's no real buying out, its in joint names thats all. I just need the courage to get rid.

Everything is in my name because of his past, even down to his mobile phone contract.

sassyblue

hellsbells0405 wrote: »

Its a rented flat so there's no real buying out, its in joint names thats all. I just need the courage to get rid.

Everything is in my name because of his past, even down to his mobile phone contract.

See what you can get changed BEFORE you tell him anything! You don't want him running up bills....

KxMx

hellsbells0405 wrote: »

Its a rented flat so there's no real buying out, its in joint names thats all. I just need the courage to get rid.

Everything is in my name because of his past, even down to his mobile phone contract.

Looks to me, besides the flat, you are sitting pretty with all the power in your hands

londonsurrey

You'd be better off with a lodger. At least you stand a chance of liking your new lodger.

hellsbells0405_2

londonsurrey wrote: »

You'd be better off with a lodger. At least you stand a chance of liking your new lodger.

We do have a friend living with us, but at "mates rates" if you get what I mean.