Fed up of Mother's Day already!

Seanymph

Can I joist run a flag up the pole for stepmums?

I do the job, if I sat at a desk the nameplate would be 'mum'. It is perfectly acceptable for me to pick up their washing, cook their dinners, help with homework, use my salary to pay for them, keep their house, listen to them, go to school appts, doctors appts.......... for years and years - yet the two no longer living at home sent zilch. despite my SD phoning her dad, and me answering the phone, no 'happy mothers day'. Nope.

And the one living here? Took a card from MY card collection in MY dresser, wrote in it, gave it to me, and thought I wouldn't realise it was one of the three I'd bought for his dad to choose from to send to HIS mum.

I know I'm not alone, I know being a step mum is hard - but blimey it would have been nice to receive an email or message on facebook!

My daughters did buy me a card each, and flowers, and minstrels (my favourites).

But step mums work hard too. And do all the things mum's do, but with none of the damned credit.

I'd like to see them deal with their father without me around to mitigate it and interface!

Sorry, but it's not a good day for me on that basis. So I join in the gripe - although i couldn't care less what it's called.

Lifeforms

Going to be a little harsh here

Having read the Valentines day fall outs, birthday fall outs, and now the Mothers day ones where Mums feel unappreciated...

Make it your day. You cannot breathe apathy coming up to such holidays then get all upset when you have nothing, or little, happen on that special day, any special day.
Your kids will tell you what they want to do (even hiding it as *need* to do), your OH will do the same, the Damn dog/cat/hamster even does it!

You need to turn around and tell people what you are expecting, or want doing.
If you want breakfast in Bed, make it expected, if you want a bunch of flowers ask for them, if you want your kids to bake you a cake, enable it.
Why should you not be different from the rest of your family, close, paternal, or maternal!

Stop being a martyr and start to ask for things. The cute little notion of the OH or Kids knowing just what you need or want is simply a myth. They're all as dense in your things as we are in their things

Just hate seeing people being disappointed in what they've had, or not had, and seeing so many comments (not just here, but elsewhere) about how they should've know what they wanted. This goes for mothers day, or otherwise any other special occasion!

Alchemilla

dibuzz wrote: »

No different to a normal day for me, I've got 4 kids and 1 grandson who I rarely see despite keep asking. I left facebook because I was sick of his mother going on and on about how amazing her mum was with the baby whilst I had to make an appointment to see him and have never spent more than 30 mins with him.
When my 1st son was a baby I spent ages choosing lovely gifts for my mum and mil, when mil asked what I'd got and I said "nothing" she laughed. I had to wait till he started nursery before I got a card.
Today I got 1 card from my son and his fiancee.
I've spent the day freezing on the rugby field and now they all want to know whats for tea, I just feel like crying.

God bless. Big hugs. Is it time to put your foot down?x

System

Seanymph wrote: »

Can I joist run a flag up the pole for stepmums?

I do the job, if I sat at a desk the nameplate would be 'mum'. It is perfectly acceptable for me to pick up their washing, cook their dinners, help with homework, use my salary to pay for them, keep their house, listen to them, go to school appts, doctors appts.......... for years and years - yet the two no longer living at home sent zilch. despite my SD phoning her dad, and me answering the phone, no 'happy mothers day'. Nope.

And the one living here? Took a card from MY card collection in MY dresser, wrote in it, gave it to me, and thought I wouldn't realise it was one of the three I'd bought for his dad to choose from to send to HIS mum.

I know I'm not alone, I know being a step mum is hard - but blimey it would have been nice to receive an email or message on facebook!

My daughters did buy me a card each, and flowers, and minstrels (my favourites).

But step mums work hard too. And do all the things mum's do, but with none of the damned credit.

I'd like to see them deal with their father without me around to mitigate it and interface!

Sorry, but it's not a good day for me on that basis. So I join in the gripe - although i couldn't care less what it's called.

Step mums (and dads) do sometimes get overlooked. My step dad is my dad as far as i am concerned and always makes sure he know i appriciate what he's done for me, and my first stepmum too, she always looked after me and treated me like her own when she was with my dad. I once forgot to send my stepdad a card on fathers days and i felt terrible about it Never missed it since. Will say nothing bout 2nd stepmum..(that could be a thread of its own).

ellie99

Lifeforms wrote: »

Going to be a little harsh here

You need to turn around and tell people what you are expecting, or want doing.
If you want breakfast in Bed, make it expected, if you want a bunch of flowers ask for them, if you want your kids to bake you a cake, enable it.
Why should you not be different from the rest of your family, close, paternal, or maternal!

Stop being a martyr and start to ask for things. The cute little notion of the OH or Kids knowing just what you need or want is simply a myth. They're all as dense in your things as we are in their things

Lifeforms - it doesn't work! I've told my boys (grown up now) for years that I'm not much bothered about gifts, but I really love to receive cards. Do I have a card today? No.
Nor do I have anyone to share the evening meal with, although they still live at home... I feel very alone. I know it's just another commercialized day, but it would mean so much if they just did something to acknowledge all my efforts over the years.

nickyhutch

ellie99 wrote: »

Lifeforms - it doesn't work! I've told my boys (grown up now) for years that I'm not much bothered about gifts, but I really love to receive cards. Do I have a card today? No.
Nor do I have anyone to share the evening meal with, although they still live at home... I feel very alone. I know it's just another commercialized day, but it would mean so much if they just did something to acknowledge all my efforts over the years.

Have you told them how they've upset you by not giving a card or staying in to eat with you?

Seanymph

In our house that's called 'bunch of flowers'.

If someone gives you an unasked for bunch, it's lovely, and you get the warm and fuzzies.

if you have to say 'I want a bunch of flowers' and you get one ok, you get the flowers, but it does not feel as nice as an unasked for bunch. It just doesn't.

It's all a bit 'bunch of flowers' if you've had to ask for the *insert here whatever you have had to ask for because no one gave you enough consideration to think about it*

dibuzz

ellie99 wrote: »

Lifeforms - it doesn't work! I've told my boys (grown up now) for years that I'm not much bothered about gifts, but I really love to receive cards. Do I have a card today? No.
Nor do I have anyone to share the evening meal with, although they still live at home... I feel very alone. I know it's just another commercialized day, but it would mean so much if they just did something to acknowledge all my efforts over the years.

Same here, my eldest is 25 and youngest 17. They saw how upset I was a few weeks ago to only get 2 cards on my 50th birthday (none of them were from them) but still couldnt be bothered to even get me a card. I've told them I don't want presents but just to be appreciated.

CH27

dibuzz wrote: »

Same here, my eldest is 25 and youngest 17. They saw how upset I was a few weeks ago to only get 2 cards on my 50th birthday (none of them were from them) but still couldnt be bothered to even get me a card. I've told them I don't want presents but just to be appreciated.

Hurts like hell doesn't it.

suburbanwifey

I feel very blessed as a wife to have a hubby who classes me as a mum to our 3 cats. Every year he hand makes me a card and the babies buy me a gift. He made his card from the cats this year whilst he was at work and wrote lovely poems in it, a poem from each cat. Apparently, they all saved up their pocket money to buy me a new charm for my Pandora. Every year I am made to feel special, even though I am not a mum in the normal sense of the word and I wouldn't change it for a thing.

PS: I do the same for hubby on Fathers Day (we're both daft as a brush lol)